Apologies for being so nice

I recently posted about my wife’s many amazing qualities on the blog that I write to our daughter. I did not do so because I was currying favor. I simply wanted our daughter to know what a remarkable her mother is.

This evening, my wife chose to distort the fabric of time, thus plunging me into the Twilight Zone by attempting to refute the many laudable remarks that I made about her..

Get it? I write about my wife’s greatness, and she decides to take the opportunity to debate the subject with me.

It began with her refuting the claim that she knows the last names of ESPN Radio hosts Mike and Mike, even though she told me their names a week ago when I relayed a story to her from the show. I told her that Lou Holtz, former Notre Dame football coach, had once told Mike that the most important thing he could do for his children is ensure that they know how much he loves his wife. I thought this was fine advice (thus the post). After telling her this story, she said, “Oh. Was that Mike Greenburg or Mike Golic?”

I couldn’t have been more impressed.

Naturally, she does not remember this conversation. As I stated in a previous post, my wife often suffers from selective memory loss.

She then attempted to refute my claim that she knows at least half the starting lineup for the New York Yankees. After getting her to admit that she could name Jeter, Rodriguez and Damon without much trouble, I said, “You probably know the catcher. Posada?”

“Oh yeah. Jorge Posada. Oh, and I know Teixeira, too, because the announcer likes to say that he just texted a homerun.

“So you know Teixeira, who’s been on the team for one season, and you even know John Sterling’s homerun call for him, and you deny knowing half the starting lineup?”

We also ascertained that she was also able to name our closing pitcher and one or two starting pitchers.

Only I could find a woman to marry who will attempt to fight me when complimenting her.