Over the last week or so, I have been yearning for a McRib, which my local McDonald's is now offering for a limited time only. Frightening words for a McRib lover, and I love the McRib, regardless of what McRib-bashers may say.
Two days ago, in between parent-teacher conferences, I finally ate my first McRib in more than ten years.
It wasn’t as good as I remembered it to be.
IT WAS BETTER.
And since posting about my desire for a McRib and my attempts to convert my wife to the joys of this delicacy, I have convinced three other people to partake in its pleasure.
One person “Loved it!” and two said that is wasn’t bad.
Converts! Its always gratifying to know that my belief system has improved the lives of others.
A similar, less barbecue-enhanced situation occurred earlier this week.
Based upon my previous brushes with death, which include two instances in which my heart and respiration stopped and another time when an unloaded shotgun was placed by my head while the trigger was pulled, I conduct my life by adhering to the following philosophy:
Since you could die at any moment, do not complete any assigned task until the last minute. Avoid spending your last hour on this planet finishing some mundane and soul-crushing chore that will do you no good once you are in the ground.
For the most part, I strictly adhere to this philosophy, consistently procrastinating on tasks that lack any appeal to me.
I also work well under pressure, and perhaps better under pressure, so this admittedly makes my philosophy easier to apply.
Not everyone thinks this policy is sane. A least a couple of my friends are constantly questioning this belief, challenging my compliance, and a few are downright annoyed by it at times.
I don’t quite understand why. All I do is live life as if every day could be my last. It’s a nice platitude that is repeated quite often, and it seems to make sense unless you actually attempt to live by it. Then you realize that in order to do so, you must also live on the precipice of deadlines, the constant awareness of mounting responsibilities and time slipping away and the danger that important tasks may go unfinished.
But this is the way I choose to live, despite the outrage that some feel about it.
But not all.
Over the weekend, one of colleagues and good friends was supposed to complete an important assignment that could impact the future of her teaching career. As she walked into my classroom this morning, I asked how her weekend went.
“Fine,” she said.
I asked if she had spent most of the time working on her assignment, which is what I would have expected her to have done.
“Nope,” she said. “I started it at 8:00 last night and finished around midnight ”
“You saved it for the last minute?”
“Yup,” she answered, beaming with pride. “And it all thanks to you. I thought about how you don’t believe in doing things until the last minute in case you die. Since there was a chance that I might die this weekend, I decided to enjoy my two days off and waited until last night to get started. And you know what? It worked out just fine.”
Just think: My first disciple.
I wonder if all great religious figures started out this way.
With a handful of McRibs and one believer.