Topless would have been better

Emily Yofee, in her role as Dear Prudence, offers advice to a married couple who met while the wife was putting herself through college by working at a topless bar. The wife complains of frequent embarrassment when asked about how she and her husband met, and she would like Yoffe to give her some advice as to how to avoid this awkward question without lying.

Yofee suggests stretching the truth by telling people that they met while she was waitressing.

I think they should just tell the whole truth. It’s a great story. A really great story.

I kind of wish it was Elysha and my story.

The story of our first meeting is decidedly less risqué. Elysha and I met at work. I was separated from my ex-wife at the time, and Elysha was engaged to another man. In fact, our first conversation took place during an overnight field trip to a YMCA camp. As we hiked around the lake, we chatted about Elysha’s upcoming wedding plans.

Ironically, we were both initially intimidated by one another.

Elysha thought that my friend, Donna, and I were the “cool kids” at our school (we were not), and I thought that she was too beautiful and too clever to even be friendship material (she was).

Probably a good way to start a relationship.

We spent the first year that we knew each other as colleagues, the second year as friends, and in our third year we finally began dating. I was divorced by then, and she had thankfully called off her engagement. We fumbled around a bit, uncertain if we were simply becoming close friends or something more, and then one day Elysha took my hand as we hiked down a mountain, signaling to me that something had changed.

Later that night, we kissed for the first time.

Actually, she kissed me. Just for the record.

Even though we’ve been together for more than seven years and married for four, I still have these “Elysha Green Moments” in which I still cannot believe that I am married to this amazing woman. I find myself wondering how I could ever be so lucky.

It should also be noted that Elysha overcame her intimidation decidedly quicker than I did, and she has never reported any Matthew Dicks Moments.

But had she been a topless dancer when we first met, I bet those Elysha Green Moments would be even more frequent.