How to properly eat a Cadbury Crème Egg

There is one and only one correct way to eat a Cadbury Crème Egg. Allow me to explain. In case you have been living under a rock for your entire life, the Cadbury Crème Egg is a brand of chocolate constructed of two parts: a thick, chocolate shell and the liquid, candy interior.

It is candy perfection, but it relies upon the consumer to ensure that this perfection is achieved.

The key to properly eating a Cadbury Crème Egg is to consume the egg in three equal bites. If done properly, this allows each bite to be equally and appropriately delicious.

This is the key.

In order to achieve three perfect bites, one must ensure that each bite contains equal portions of both candy components, for it is through the blending of these two components that perfection is attained.

To finish a Cadbury Crème Egg by consuming only the chocolaty tip of the egg, for example, would be to deny its potential perfection.

It would be both wasteful and inane.

It would be a tragedy.

This is why three is the ideal number of bites. Three bites allows for the requisite distribution of chocolate shell and liquid interior in each bite. This is essential. To consume the chocolate exterior without simultaneously ingesting the candy interior defeats the purpose of the candy and fundamentally debases the entire experience.

When in doubt, here is a good rule of thumb:

If eaten properly, the consumption of a Cadbury Crème Egg should result in at least three sticky fingers.

If your hands are clean upon the completion of a Cadbury Crème Egg, you have failed the candy.

You have denied yourself an opportunity at perfection.