I’m not a Past Commander, but I’ve got some pin-worthy material of my own

While judging an American Legion Oratorical Contest, I noticed a Legionnaire with a large, gold pin on his arm that read Past Commander. A pin denoting a previous station in life.

I like this idea a lot.

past commander

Rather than leaving behind previous accomplishments and positions of significance, why not plaster them across your arm or chest for all to see.

So I made a list of some of the pins that I might consider including on my arm. They include:

  • Former Little League All Star
  • Retired Dungeon Master
  • Failed telemarketer
  • Former corpse
  • Former member of The National Grange
  • Two-time lip syncing contest champion
  • Former community theater actor
  • Former high school shuttle run record holder
  • One time criminal defendant
  • Former lifeguard
  • Former and failed motorcyclist
  • Failed Habitat for Humanity volunteer
  • Former founding and solo member of a high school chess club
  • One-time Ronald McDonald Children’s Charities volunteer imposter
  • Former third string middle school soccer goalie
  • Former flutist, bassoonist and drummer (I also played clarinet, but what would that make me? A former clarineteer?)
  • Ex-step-brother
  • Former banker
  • Former pole vaulter
  • Past science fair cheat
  • Former raccoon owner
  • One time homeless person
  • Former and currently wistful fire engine chaser
  • Failed bus patrol volunteer (I was fired from the position in third grade)
  • Former member of the Poison fan club

Granted, a few of these pins might get a little large, but I can always add them to my legs when my arms get full.