While judging an American Legion Oratorical Contest, I noticed a Legionnaire with a large, gold pin on his arm that read Past Commander. A pin denoting a previous station in life.
I like this idea a lot.
Rather than leaving behind previous accomplishments and positions of significance, why not plaster them across your arm or chest for all to see.
So I made a list of some of the pins that I might consider including on my arm. They include:
- Former Little League All Star
- Retired Dungeon Master
- Failed telemarketer
- Former corpse
- Former member of The National Grange
- Two-time lip syncing contest champion
- Former community theater actor
- Former high school shuttle run record holder
- One time criminal defendant
- Former lifeguard
- Former and failed motorcyclist
- Failed Habitat for Humanity volunteer
- Former founding and solo member of a high school chess club
- One-time Ronald McDonald Children’s Charities volunteer imposter
- Former third string middle school soccer goalie
- Former flutist, bassoonist and drummer (I also played clarinet, but what would that make me? A former clarineteer?)
- Former banker
- Former pole vaulter
- Past science fair cheat
- Former raccoon owner
- One time homeless person
- Former and currently wistful fire engine chaser
- Failed bus patrol volunteer (I was fired from the position in third grade)
- Former member of the Poison fan club
Granted, a few of these pins might get a little large, but I can always add them to my legs when my arms get full.