I bought a new pair of sneakers last night, which led me to the following sneaker-related observations: 1. By the time a man is 30-years old, there is no further need to try on a pair of sneakers before purchasing.
A size 9 is a size 9 is a size 9.
If you think you need to try on a pair of sneakers to make sure they fit, you’re just fooling yourself and wasting everyone’s time.
2. By the time you can afford the coolest sneakers on the market, you no longer have any need for the coolest sneakers on the market.
Unless you are a douchebag, of course.
3. As a little kid, I liked shoe boxes more than the shoes that came inside. For someone who grew up poor, a shoe box had so many more uses than a shoe.
4. The coolest shoes I ever owned were pair of 1985 Air Jordans, purchased with the money earned from my first job as a farmhand on Jesse Deacon’s horse farm. I spent $110 for them, which remains the most I have ever paid for a pair of sneakers to this day.