Am I the only one who thinks it odd that our underwear drawers are filled with underwear of varying types, styles and appearances? This morning, I put on my favorite pair of underwear. It's my favorite primarily because of its fit. It’s a pair of striped-blue boxer briefs, and it adheres to my body ideally in every way.
I have other pairs of underwear of identical construct (purchased in the same package as Blue Stripy) and while they are beloved as well, I like Blue Stripy the best of all for his color as well his fit.
Blue Stripy has it all.
Finding Blue Stripy in my underwear drawer is a great way to start my day.
But it occurs to me:
Why don’t I simply own twenty pairs of Blue Stripy?
There are many mornings when Blue Stripy and his brethren are unavailable for use, and I am forced to don a suitable though not-so-favored pair of underwear. These pairs of underwear are slightly longer, shorter, looser, tighter, or made from a slightly less elastic material than Blue Stripy, and while they all adequately perform their job, I avoid these pairs whenever Blue Stripy and his comrades in arms are available.
So why not just populate my wardrobe with a platoon of Blue Stripy and make every day a good day?
The problem is that assembling twenty pairs of Blue Stripy would be difficult because most men’s underwear is purchased in packages of 3-6 pairs, and each pair of underwear in these packages is typically different from the rest:
Same material and same construction but different design. A cornucopia of underwear colors and patterns.
Why this is the case is beyond me.
If we all have a favorite pair of underwear (and you know you do), wouldn’t it make sense to simply fill our drawers with that specific pair?
And wouldn’t it be nice if the international underwear conglomerate made it their mission to provide each customer with the opportunity to purchase a bushel of their favorite underwear rather than ending up with a mishmash of excellent to average to below-average underwear?
I was unable to find this mythic underwear conglomerate or any similar underwear governing body to which I could foist my appeal, but I did manage to turn up an Underwear Industry Report.
I chose not to read it. I’ve spent too much time on the Internet already.
More importantly, I suspect that Blue Stripy does not make an appearance in the report.
But perhaps you all might want to join me in the search of your own Blue Stripy: the ideal pair of underwear that matches your body and sense of style.
If found (and perhaps, like me, you are fortunate enough to have already found it), I encourage you to invest the money and time in purchasing as many pairs as possible, while simultaneously jettisoning all the substandard underwear that currently fulfills your underwear drawer.
I have made it my mission to search for Blue Stripy anytime I enter a store that sells underwear, and if I am ever lucky enough to find him again, I will be purchasing him in bulk.
Life if hard enough. Don’t we all deserve to begin everyday by donning our favorite pair of underwear?