You have to be having sex in order to choose your phone over sex. I know this sounds obvious, but apparently it’s not.

A national survey conducted by TeleNav has shown that one in three Americans are willing to give up sex for a week over giving up their phone. The overwhelming majority – 70% – of these respondents were women.

Here’s the problem with these numbers:

Of the 33% of Americans reporting that they would give up sex for a week, more than half of them probably aren't having sex anyway, either by choice or by the lack of a willing partner.

And another significant percentage are probably so disappointed with the sex that they are having that giving it up for a week would be no chore.

Skews the numbers quite a bit.

What I’d like to see is the percentage of Americans who are having and enjoying sex who would be willing to give it up for a week in order to retain their phone.

Something tells me that the numbers would be decidedly smaller.

The study also reports that 22% of smartphone users said they were willing to forego seeing their significant other entirely for a week rather than give up their phone.

But at least 22% of my friends would kill for a week alone without their spouse or significant other. Even in the best of relationships, I have friends, both men and women, who find the thought of an empty house luxuriating, and at least 22% of them would be more than willing to send their significant other off for a week of whatever if it meant they could have the house to themselves.

I am not one of these people and fail to find the joy in being home alone for any significant period of time, but the feeling is certainly not uncommon.

When viewed in these terms, the 22% statistic seems significantly less astounding.

I realize that the people conducting these surveys desire news-worthy results, but none of this is news.

A bunch of people who weren’t having sex anyway or were having uninspired sex were willing to give up the unlikely possibility of good sex for a week rather than lose their phone?

And a bunch of people who would kill for some time alone acknowledged that they would accept the offer of time alone rather than lose their phone?

Big deal.