Dressed up to not work out

Regardless of how many times I see this (and it’s almost daily), I’ll never understand it: Two women are working out together at the gym.

One is dressed in a tight-fitting, leopard-print leotard, black and pink tights, pink sneakers and a matching pink headband. The other is wearing a yellow hoodie with coordinating socks and a black and gold headband.

Both are wearing large, hoop earrings.

They are deeply tanned and both have clearly spent a great deal of time on her hair prior to arriving at the gym.

There is product in those follicles. Lots of product.

Best of all, both are plastered in more makeup than I have seen my wife wear in her entire life. Eye shadow, mascara, blush and who knows what else.

If you work out at the gym regularly, you’d probably recognize the type immediately.

While the great majority of people at a gym appear to give little thought to their general appearance (and justifiably so), there are always a couple women who walk around the place as if it’s some kind of athletic singles club. These are women who appear to spend a great deal of time dressing up for the gym.

Probably more time getting ready than actually exercising.

In a sea of ragged tee-shirts and fading gym shorts, they look like slightly less athletic versions of the aerobic instructors that you used to dominate early morning television.

Unable to sweat because of the amount of makeup caked onto their faces, they often do as little as possible while attempting to appear as active as possible.

Four reps on a leg machine here. Three there. Half a dozen sit-ups. And stretching.

Lots of stretching.

Watching them try to be noticed while not actually exercising is often more entertaining than anything I can find on the television affixed to my treadmill.

But I can’t help but wonder if any of this attention seeking yields results.  Are these women catching the eye of some hunky lady killer at 8:30 AM on a Sunday morning?

Are they routinely leaving the gym with guys’ phone numbers?

Do they hope to find Mr. Right amidst the barbells and rowing machines?

Or could their goals be completely unrelated to men?  Is there another, more mysterious purpose to this attempt to look good while not actually exercising?

Curious minds want to know.

There may even be a male version of this female oddity, a manly prima donna more interested in being seen than actually exercising, but I am not observant enough to have noticed these particularly breed yet.

Though I suspect that absent the makeup that these women wear, even the most vain of men could probably manage a genuine workout while still donning the most stylish of gym paraphernalia and tanning their skin to a golden brown.