The wedding season has begun. Last week my DJ partner and I worked our first wedding of the year. As the reception came to a close, I had a few thoughts on wedding receptions that may help you the next time you are planning or attending one: 1. As charming as it may seem to make an impromptu toast, don’t do it, for several reasons:
- Wedding and receptions are often timed to the minute. An unexpected five minute interruption can cause problems that you cannot begin to imagine.
- The order in which people are chosen to speak is often decided upon for a specific reason. The bride and groom, for example, may ask the Maid of Honor to deliver the final toast because she is funny and will alleviate some of the weight of the Best Man’s toast, which references the groom’s grandmother who died two weeks ago. Your unplanned toast may defeat this purpose entirely.
- Brides and grooms choose the people to deliver speeches carefully. Oftentimes a request to speak is declined for the sake of time or a myriad of other reasons (If we let you speak, we’ll have to let Uncle Joey speak, and that would not go well). Assuming that your toast will be welcomed and appreciated is wrong.
- If the bride and groom had wanted you to speak, they would have asked you to speak.
- Delivering an impromptu toast or speech is an excellent way of appearing attention-seeking and narcissistic on a day when you are clearly not supposed to be the center of attention.
2. As a bride and groom, if you intend on tipping your vendors, consider tipping them at the onset of the reception. While I like to think that my DJ partner and I work incredibly hard at every wedding, we feel the added weight of obligation when tipped just prior to the reception and will actively seek out ways to go above and beyond the call of duty for the bride and groom.
3. This is a piece of advice that my partner gives to brides who have especially challenging mothers-in-law:
You only have one chance to make your mother-in-law feel included in the planning and execution of your wedding day, and it is a day that will be remembered more than almost any other in your relationship with her. Don’t blow it. Compromise. Your relationship with her will last long after the final song at your reception is played. Keep that in mind when she suggests what that final song should be.