Allison Winn Scotch, in a piece in Psychology Today entitled Balancing Motherhood and Career, writes:
And herein lies the catch that so many women wrestle with: we want lives with our children, but we want lives outside of them too. And sure, we were told that we can have it all, but maybe the truth is that we can only have bits of it at time or if we do have it all, it doesn’t mean that we’re going to be happy all the time. Maybe that’s really it. You can work and you can be a full-time mom and you can deal with the pressures and stresses of each. But you can expect that all of this is going to be easy or necessarily enjoyable. But what if I’m at the age when I want it to be enjoyable? Is that childish or actually enlightened? What if I want to say screw you, stress, I’m going to go make brownies for the bake sale with my kids and not care! Okay, actually, I'm never going to be that mom who makes homemade brownies, so I'll toss that idea out right now, but still. It would be nice to know that I could if I wanted to.
My question is this:
Why does Winn Scott characterize this as a problem that mothers wrestle with? How is this struggle any different for a father?
Because it’s not. Fathers deal with these same pressures and want the same things as mothers. We want successful careers and the opportunity to be full-time fathers, and yes, we too would like this process to be easy and enjoyable.
I don’t know a single father who doesn’t feel this way.
So I ask:
Why is the “we want it all” conundrum so often characterized as a mother’s problem when fathers feel the same?