Three packages arrived last week. Only one was creepy and sexually inappropriate.

On Friday the first copy of MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND arrived at my door, wrapped beautifully and accompanied by a note from my editor. It was the kind of note you tuck away into a box and save forever.

The mailman has been especially good to me lately.

Earlier in the week, I received two other interesting packages.

The first was my official title confirming my status as a Lord of the Principality of Sealand. It’s official. As soon as I have an actual office, I’ll be hanging this beauty up in a place where everyone can see it in hopes that they will start referring to me as Lord Dicks.


The second package contained a book that I couldn’t resist ordering after seeing it in a list of the Ten Worst Book Covers in the History of Literature. I was expecting the book to be silly and amusing, but it turned out to be creepy, cringe-worthy and overly-explicit. Sadly, I ‘m going to have to stuff it into a drawer in fear that someone might see it and think the worst.

It was clearly not written with the sense of humor needed to pull this kind of thing off.


In truth, I was hoping to order HOW TO AVOID HUGE SHIPS: SECOND EDITION first, but the cheapest copy on Amazon costs more than $100.