Ann Coulter is racing me to the finish line. I hope she gets there first.

There are days when I don’t feel like going to the gym.

On those days, I think of Ann Coulter.

Ann is a decade older than me (even with all that plastic surgery), which means that if I take care of myself, I have a reasonable chance of outliving her.

I have never existed in a world in which Ann Coulter did not also exist. But if I exercise regularly, get routine checkups, and eat a healthy diet, the day could come when I exist and Ann Coulter does not.

That is my dream.

Thank you, Ann. Your continued existence gets me back on that treadmill everyday, working hard in an effort to outlive you.