I don’t stretch. I win.

I don’t like to walk because I could be running instead. Walking seems like such a waste of time.

Similarly, I don’t stretch before working out because I could be working out instead.


I told this to a college athlete recently and she was shocked. She attempted to convince me about the importance of stretching before any workout.

Less than a week later comes news that there is growing scientific consensus that “pre-exercise stretching is generally unnecessary and likely counterproductive.”

I wish I could go back in time and say, “I told you so!” to my high school track and field coach. All those hours of stretching in the multi-purpose room prior to practice was apparently a complete waste of my time.

It’s moments like these that reinforce my natural inclination towards nonconformity. Just when everyone thinks I’m crazy for behaving counterintuitive or seeming to follow a nonexistent trend, I’m proven to be correct.

This doesn’t actually happen (except in exceptionally rare instances like this), but it’s the belief that they happen and will begin happening more frequently, in combination with the denial over how rarely they actually happen that encourage me to continue adhering to my unconventional instincts.

Not to mention a supremely patient and accepting wife.