Matthew Dicks
Books
Books
Something Missing
Unexpectedly, Milo
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Storyworthy
Blog
Storytelling/Public Speaking
Storytelling
Speak Up
Coaching/Consulting
Podcasts
Appearances
BIO
Contact
Matthew Dicks
Books
/
Books
Something Missing
Unexpectedly, Milo
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Storyworthy
Blog
/
Storytelling/Public Speaking
/
Storytelling
Speak Up
Coaching/Consulting
/
Podcasts
/
Appearances
/
BIO
/
Contact
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Matthew Dicks
Grin and Bare It
A blog by Matthew Dicks
Matthew Dicks
Books
/
Books
Something Missing
Unexpectedly, Milo
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Storyworthy
Blog
/
Storytelling/Public Speaking
/
Storytelling
Speak Up
Coaching/Consulting
/
Podcasts
/
Appearances
/
BIO
/
Contact
/
May 11, 2013
Always re-configuring her environment
May 11, 2013
/
matthew
The perfect Mother’s Day gift or ...
Jack’s magic beans have a better ...
Books
/
Books
Something Missing
Unexpectedly, Milo
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Storyworthy
Blog
/
Storytelling/Public Speaking
/
Storytelling
Speak Up
Coaching/Consulting
/
Podcasts
/
Appearances
/
BIO
/
Contact
/
Matthew Dicks
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February 2019
Feb 22, 2019
Great news, greater advice, and a cage
Feb 22, 2019
Feb 21, 2019
My version of self care might seem despicable and disgraceful, but I disagree.
Feb 21, 2019
Feb 20, 2019
Do you know who Madame CJ Walker is?
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 19, 2019
Advice from The Beatles
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 18, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #37: Steve Brouse
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 17, 2019
Why you should embrace every snow day
Feb 17, 2019
Feb 16, 2019
A perfect collection of birthday presents
Feb 16, 2019
Feb 15, 2019
I leveled up.
Feb 15, 2019
Feb 14, 2019
The worst thing about Valentine's Day
Feb 14, 2019
Feb 13, 2019
My binder clip IQ test
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 12, 2019
I did not speak like this when I was ten years old.
Feb 12, 2019
Feb 11, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Marie Greene
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 10, 2019
This map is terrible. So is this administration.
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 9, 2019
Spielberg didn't hire me. Big mistake.
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 8, 2019
Why the Kit Kat is a terrible candy bar
Feb 8, 2019
Feb 7, 2019
Storyworthy: The Illustrated compendium
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 6, 2019
Trump demonstrates his ineffectiveness with startling clarity
Feb 6, 2019
Feb 5, 2019
Gratitude and perspective on the eve of the Super Bowl
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 4, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #35: Ophira Eisenberg
Feb 4, 2019
Feb 3, 2019
Bravery beyond compare
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 2, 2019
An answer to the stupid question, "How can it be so cold if global warming is real?"
Feb 2, 2019
Feb 1, 2019
Resolution update: January 2019
Feb 1, 2019
January 2019
Jan 31, 2019
Overused, hackneyed, and stupid
Jan 31, 2019
Jan 30, 2019
Being critical doesn't mean I can't have fun.
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 29, 2019
No straw but plenty of lemon? Absolutely stupid.
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 28, 2019
Speak Up #34: Chion Wolf
Jan 28, 2019
Jan 27, 2019
Wonder Woman and Mary Poppins Returns: Two excellent films with stupid, sexist endings
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 26, 2019
Worst reaction to a gift ever
Jan 26, 2019
Jan 25, 2019
Clara turns 10 years-old today.
Jan 25, 2019
Jan 24, 2019
They love themselves more than they love their children.
Jan 24, 2019
Jan 23, 2019
Judge yourself by who hates you
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 22, 2019
Charlie can kiss all he wants. He just doesn't want to.
Jan 22, 2019
Jan 21, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #33: Bobbi Klau
Jan 21, 2019
Jan 20, 2019
Patriots playoff presumptions
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019
Snoop Dog thanked Snoop Dog.
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 19, 2019
14 “safe” changes I’d make if I could travel back in time
Jan 19, 2019
Jan 18, 2019
Three commercials. Five minutes. Many, many laughs and perhaps a little inspiration, too.
Jan 18, 2019
Jan 17, 2019
Karen Pence is a bigot, but this is not news.
Jan 17, 2019
Jan 16, 2019
Kids get mad at "Bohemian Rhapsody"
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 15, 2019
7 bits of parenting advice that I stand by without reservation
Jan 15, 2019
Jan 14, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #32: Tom Reed Swale
Jan 14, 2019
Jan 13, 2019
Hurting children because you are stupid
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 12, 2019
I have a new job. And two simple strategies that helped me land it.
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 11, 2019
The ongoing lies of the Trump administration regarding the border wall paint a clear picture
Jan 11, 2019
Jan 10, 2019
Dad is clearly an idiot
Jan 10, 2019
Jan 9, 2019
Eric Trump blocked me on Twitter
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 8, 2019
Silver linings can be quite lovely
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 7, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #31: David Ring
Jan 7, 2019
Jan 6, 2019
Old me is okay, too.
Jan 6, 2019
Jan 5, 2019
13 was not a good number in 1989. It's especially bad in 2019.
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 4, 2019
Things I Do #13: I turn on the passenger seat heater in my car on especially cold days
Jan 4, 2019
Jan 3, 2019
A man who should know better is worried about balance
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 2, 2019
New Year’s Resolutions 2019
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 1, 2019
Resolution update: 2018 in review
Jan 1, 2019
December 2018
Dec 31, 2018
Moments of Note 2018
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 31, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Chuck Fedolfi
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 30, 2018
Find your people
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 29, 2018
I went to see Hamilton last night despite the ridiculous hype that accompanies it.
Dec 29, 2018
Dec 29, 2018
I engaged with celebrity culture for a month. Here is what I discovered.
Dec 29, 2018
Dec 28, 2018
Time to set some goals for 2019. And perhaps a goal or two for me, too.
Dec 28, 2018
Dec 27, 2018
I was visited by the Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come. Kind of.
Dec 27, 2018
Dec 26, 2018
My 2018 Christmas Haul
Dec 26, 2018
Dec 25, 2018
Just before all the good stuff is the real good stuff
Dec 25, 2018
Dec 24, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Christina Fedolfi
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 23, 2018
Be different
Dec 23, 2018
Dec 22, 2018
A simple suggestion to improve 2018 and beyond
Dec 22, 2018
Dec 21, 2018
Not a single one of them escaped alive
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 20, 2018
A beautiful act of revenge. Plus glitter.
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 19, 2018
Roman numerals are stupid
Dec 19, 2018
Dec 18, 2018
Let the anger go
Dec 18, 2018
Dec 17, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Erica Donahue
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 16, 2018
Look! Real American heroes! And no capes!
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 15, 2018
Dane Best: Child hero
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 14, 2018
Thank goodness that I'm smart enough to listen to my wife
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 13, 2018
Finding a new friend thanks to self expression and some scabies
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 12, 2018
A bittersweet moment for a storyteller, and a magical night for all of us
Dec 12, 2018
Dec 11, 2018
Demographics tell the story
Dec 11, 2018
Dec 10, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #4: Sam Carley [rebroadcast]
Dec 10, 2018
Dec 9, 2018
The magic of film on film
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 8, 2018
The curtain raised on peeing with girls
Dec 8, 2018
Dec 7, 2018
Batman is depressed. Also, you are bad or good depending on how you eat your lunch.
Dec 7, 2018
Dec 6, 2018
The worst part of the Christmas season
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 5, 2018
These folks get it.
Dec 5, 2018
Dec 4, 2018
A Patriots fan becomes an honest-to-goodness Patriot, and I'll never forget it.
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 3, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Kathy Binder
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 2, 2018
Be happy for others, damn it.
Dec 2, 2018
Dec 1, 2018
Resolution update: November 2018
Dec 1, 2018
November 2018
Nov 30, 2018
Changing minds. Occasionally.
Nov 30, 2018
Nov 29, 2018
Spy magazine's prank from 30 years ago is more remarkable now than it was then.
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 28, 2018
Dr. Seuss's The Grinch is feminist and lovely.
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 27, 2018
Don't sleep on Die Hard 2
Nov 27, 2018
Nov 26, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Linda Storms
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 25, 2018
The life cycle of a human being through the eyes of a six year-old boy
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018
Trump's Thanksgiving Day hissy-fit
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 24, 2018
I’ll be speaking at the NYC Public Library Main Branch alongside storyteller Erin Barker… join us!
Nov 24, 2018
Nov 24, 2018
Important notes on the phrase "scantily clad"
Nov 24, 2018
Nov 23, 2018
Baptism as a threat
Nov 23, 2018
Nov 22, 2018
A solution to arguing on Thanksgiving Day
Nov 22, 2018
Nov 21, 2018
Elton returns.
Nov 21, 2018
Nov 20, 2018
A beautiful princess
Nov 20, 2018
Nov 19, 2018
My blog is celebrating its 10th anniversary today!
Nov 19, 2018
Nov 19, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling [rebroadcast]: Renae Edge
Nov 19, 2018
Nov 18, 2018
Just another Saturday night
Nov 18, 2018
Nov 17, 2018
"I had nothing else to do"
Nov 17, 2018
Nov 16, 2018
My son, the conceptual percussionist
Nov 16, 2018
Nov 15, 2018
Trying to tell me something?
Nov 15, 2018
Nov 14, 2018
What is the meaning of life?
Nov 14, 2018
Nov 13, 2018
Get Storyworthy for less than a dollar!
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 13, 2018
Trump has solutions for rising oil prices, a falling stock market, and the California wildfires. Thank goodness!
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 12, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Jenny Steadman (with special guest Danielle Dnes)
Nov 12, 2018
Nov 11, 2018
How I fight crazy, strange, and beautiful people
Nov 11, 2018
Nov 10, 2018
I had a terrifying Uber right in Florida last night.
Nov 10, 2018
Nov 9, 2018
News of a pending divorce
Nov 9, 2018
Nov 8, 2018
Smart cat. Terrible skill.
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 7, 2018
She killed Springsteen
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 6, 2018
Today I cast my vote on behalf of people who need it far more than me
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 5, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #24: Erin Barker
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 4, 2018
Steve Bannon is worried about the future of America. I hope and pray that he is right.
Nov 4, 2018
Nov 3, 2018
The truth about immigrants and the American economy
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 2, 2018
My wife is a teacher again.
Nov 2, 2018
Nov 1, 2018
Resolution Update: October 2018
Nov 1, 2018
October 2018
Oct 31, 2018
Reach for the masses...
Oct 31, 2018
Oct 30, 2018
Trump can't speak articulately., and it should scare the hell out of us.
Oct 30, 2018
Oct 29, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #23: Laura Terranova
Oct 29, 2018
Oct 28, 2018
Terrorists are cowards. Let them know it.
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 27, 2018
Charlie lost his first tooth. Also, a lot more happened.
Oct 27, 2018
Oct 26, 2018
Piñatas suck.
Oct 26, 2018
Oct 25, 2018
Perhaps the stupidest thing that America does
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 24, 2018
Why are you doing this to me?
Oct 24, 2018
Oct 23, 2018
How dare you?
Oct 23, 2018
Oct 22, 2018
Many jobs with one important thing in common
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #22: Q&A catch-up
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 21, 2018
"Ask a Teacher" has become a permanent gig of sorts, and perhaps another step to my lifelong dream
Oct 21, 2018
Oct 20, 2018
Speak Up #60 was a big night
Oct 20, 2018
Oct 19, 2018
What inappropriate things did I put in my mouth?
Oct 19, 2018
Oct 18, 2018
I threw away my bathrobe after wearing it zero times
Oct 18, 2018
Oct 17, 2018
This sign is amusing but otherwise pointless
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 16, 2018
Own your domain, dummy
Oct 16, 2018
Oct 15, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #21: Don Picard
Oct 15, 2018
Oct 14, 2018
Brett Kavanaugh and the photo that will never go away
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 13, 2018
Matilda vs. Donald Trump
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 12, 2018
What is my obstacle?
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 11, 2018
Turkish publishers offer a small bonus to their readers
Oct 11, 2018
Oct 10, 2018
Eric Trump doesn't like me
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 9, 2018
I love my jobs.
Oct 9, 2018
Oct 8, 2018
The most re-watched movies of all time
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 7, 2018
The mystery of irregular verbs explained
Oct 7, 2018
Oct 6, 2018
First words this morning
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 5, 2018
Americans believe this
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 4, 2018
Ignoring your reviews is dumb
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 3, 2018
My children show me a world I often fail to see
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 2, 2018
Trump is many things, but let's not forget this.
Oct 2, 2018
Oct 1, 2018
Resolution update: September 2018
Oct 1, 2018
Oct 1, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Valerie Gordon
Oct 1, 2018
September 2018
Sep 30, 2018
How to handle a troll
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 29, 2018
Two statistics that can change the course of a lifetime
Sep 29, 2018
Sep 28, 2018
Honest but kind. No, honest is kind.
Sep 28, 2018
Sep 27, 2018
The Republican own this self-acknowledged sex offender President
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 26, 2018
Many jobs. Many, many more dreams.
Sep 26, 2018
Sep 25, 2018
Behold: The inventor of the chocolate chip cookie
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 24, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Ron Apter
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 23, 2018
A DJ, a preacher, and a bank robber, all rolled into one
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 22, 2018
My son loves his mother and sister. Period.
Sep 22, 2018
Sep 21, 2018
I don’t drink. For my health and other good reasons.
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 20, 2018
New Jersey is different and dumb.
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 19, 2018
Not every service dog is equal
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 18, 2018
Why people think women aren't as funny as men (maybe)
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 17, 2018
Feline interference
Sep 17, 2018
Sep 17, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #17: Robin Gelfenbien
Sep 17, 2018
Sep 16, 2018
Serena is beautiful. You are a terrible human being.
Sep 16, 2018
Sep 15, 2018
Names are interesting. And confusing.
Sep 15, 2018
Sep 14, 2018
Ocelots have a lot of sex. My daughter told me.
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 13, 2018
Empathy vs. I believe in you
Sep 13, 2018
Sep 12, 2018
Yellow Stripey Things
Sep 12, 2018
Sep 11, 2018
A job is a job. Only a douchebag would think otherwise.
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 10, 2018
I can smell mustard when other people cannot, and it's probably saved my life.
Sep 10, 2018
Sep 9, 2018
Busy Town update gets my enthusiastic seal of approval
Sep 9, 2018
Sep 8, 2018
We don't need another ice cream flavor. Especially mayonnaise-flavored ice cream.
Sep 8, 2018
Sep 7, 2018
The people in Louisiana don't suck
Sep 7, 2018
Sep 6, 2018
Wife: Emoji Master
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 5, 2018
Seinfeld gets it
Sep 5, 2018
Sep 4, 2018
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2018
Sep 4, 2018
Sep 3, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #16: Monica Cleveland
Sep 3, 2018
Sep 2, 2018
Weezer's "Africa" is Toto's "Africa." I don't get it.
Sep 2, 2018
Sep 1, 2018
Resolution update: August 2018
Sep 1, 2018
August 2018
Aug 31, 2018
The best and the worst come together in Times Square
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 30, 2018
Storyworthy: The audiobook has arrived, narrated, perhaps unfortunately, by me
Aug 30, 2018
Aug 29, 2018
Donald Trump lost last night, and I won.
Aug 29, 2018
Aug 28, 2018
The worst
Aug 28, 2018
Aug 27, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #15: Roquita Johnson
Aug 27, 2018
Aug 26, 2018
Would you be more likely, less likely, or just as likely to marry your spouse today?
Aug 26, 2018
Aug 25, 2018
N-word bingo
Aug 25, 2018
Aug 24, 2018
If you could recover a single object from your past, what would it be?
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 23, 2018
Little things made big
Aug 23, 2018
Aug 22, 2018
The exact opposite of a bridezilla
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 21, 2018
Making the ordinary a little more extraordinary should always be celebrated
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018
$126 is not a lot of money
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 20, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #14: Renae Edge
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018
An anonymous note about a possible murder
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 19, 2018
Every time someone meets Elysha and says, "She's beautiful," this is what I think...
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 18, 2018
Hiring a coach so your child can play Fortnite better is ridiculous.
Aug 18, 2018
Aug 17, 2018
I better, safer alternative to lottery tickets
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 16, 2018
It appears that I might be less fallible than the Pope
Aug 16, 2018
Aug 15, 2018
Insecure cowards are leading the most powerful nations on the planet.
Aug 15, 2018
Aug 14, 2018
What the Heck? - Episode 2
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 13, 2018
I didn't know what Lands' End was, and it makes sense.
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #13: Leland Brandt
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 12, 2018
I got mentioned in the New York Times yesterday for a teeny tiny thing that I feel so good about.
Aug 12, 2018
Aug 11, 2018
Seeking submissions for my annual list of shortcomings and flaws
Aug 11, 2018
Aug 11, 2018
Open mouth. Insert foot.
Aug 11, 2018
Aug 10, 2018
Clara's first Patriots game. NOT WHAT I EXPECTED AT ALL.
Aug 10, 2018
Aug 9, 2018
We were all changed forever.
Aug 9, 2018
Aug 8, 2018
I'm not a skateboard guy, but I think this is remarkable.
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 7, 2018
"Tears in the Rain" monologue captures it all
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 6, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #12: Jeni Bonaldo
Aug 6, 2018
Aug 6, 2018
Taco Bell vs. Ben & Jerries vanilla ice cream: It's not even close
Aug 6, 2018
Aug 5, 2018
This is not my doing
Aug 5, 2018
Aug 4, 2018
Help! Some kind of voodoo priest is trying to change my life!
Aug 4, 2018
Aug 3, 2018
My daughter has a full time job (in her estimation, at least)
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 2, 2018
There is nothing wrong with Bigfoot erotica
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 1, 2018
Resolution update: July 2018
Aug 1, 2018
July 2018
Jul 31, 2018
Trump vs. Me
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 30, 2018
A small but glorious victory thanks to Charlie and Elysha
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #11: Jessica Isom
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 29, 2018
Windows down. Music up.
Jul 29, 2018
Jul 29, 2018
"What the Heck?" - Episode 1 (Seeds and boys in dresses)
Jul 29, 2018
Jul 28, 2018
Devil lady
Jul 28, 2018
Jul 27, 2018
Crazy man in the airport
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 26, 2018
Lemonade advertising was never so legal (or clever) before
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 25, 2018
Never Have I Ever: 12 things is now 14 things, partially because I'm a jerk
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 24, 2018
Get a cat
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 23, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #10: Kristin Budde
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018
Why a poached egg is funny
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 22, 2018
It's weird that religious folk are so often filled with hate.
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 21, 2018
Swimming in a chlorinated pool is just like taking a bath
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 20, 2018
Goggles
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 19, 2018
Baby jumping is a real thing, and it's really, really stupid.
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 18, 2018
Mattress PSA
Jul 18, 2018
Jul 17, 2018
People. Not places or things.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 16, 2018
Listen to smart people plus me
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #9: Alan Mackenzie
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 15, 2018
Twelve years!
Jul 15, 2018
Jul 14, 2018
Fly, Baby Trump! Fly!
Jul 14, 2018
Jul 13, 2018
Biggest fan and greatest nemesis meet. Results are climactic.
Jul 13, 2018
Jul 12, 2018
"Do we believe in heaven?"
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 11, 2018
Prankster satisfaction
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 10, 2018
It's too early for something as depressing as this.
Jul 10, 2018
Jul 9, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #8: Sharon Snow
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018
"How do you get so much done?"
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 8, 2018
Daddy taught her well
Jul 8, 2018
Jul 7, 2018
I don't know my father had a second or third heart attack, so leave me alone.
Jul 7, 2018
Jul 6, 2018
Less money. More connection.
Jul 6, 2018
Jul 5, 2018
Low life cretins steal stories.
Jul 5, 2018
Jul 4, 2018
Name your sources or begone!
Jul 4, 2018
Jul 3, 2018
There is no reason to delay the use of signage like this.
Jul 3, 2018
Jul 2, 2018
The boy has been trained well.
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #7: Special Storyworthy book launch episode
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 1, 2018
Resolution update: June 2018
Jul 1, 2018
June 2018
Jun 30, 2018
We march again.
Jun 30, 2018
Jun 29, 2018
Never trust alliteration
Jun 29, 2018
Jun 28, 2018
I am nonplussed about the shifting definition of nonplussed.
Jun 28, 2018
Jun 27, 2018
Jesus was a brown, undocumented immigrant who crossed national borders illegally ill
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 26, 2018
I hit a new thing. The results were tragic.
Jun 26, 2018
Jun 25, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #6: Special Storyworthy book launch episode
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 24, 2018
Empty that bag
Jun 24, 2018
Jun 23, 2018
An unexpected perk
Jun 23, 2018
Jun 22, 2018
I made the mature decision.
Jun 22, 2018
Jun 21, 2018
Watch people dance and be happy.
Jun 21, 2018
Jun 20, 2018
The answer to "How dare you?"
Jun 20, 2018
Jun 19, 2018
13 things that make me happy (5 years later)
Jun 19, 2018
Jun 19, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #5: Renata Sancken
Jun 19, 2018
Jun 18, 2018
A celebration of so much more than just a book
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 17, 2018
What would Jesus do?
Jun 17, 2018
Jun 16, 2018
Dunk your teacher
Jun 16, 2018
Jun 15, 2018
"Lockdown Lockdown" should not need to be a song.
Jun 15, 2018
Jun 14, 2018
Change. Now.
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 13, 2018
Bottom of the cup
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 12, 2018
The most unlikely of pars
Jun 12, 2018
Jun 11, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #4
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018
My latest piece in Parents magazine
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 10, 2018
Kids are the worst.
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 9, 2018
Walk fast. Now science is standing behind me.
Jun 9, 2018
Jun 8, 2018
The importance of an editor
Jun 8, 2018
Jun 7, 2018
Don't be embarrassed
Jun 7, 2018
Jun 6, 2018
The problem with crossword puzzles
Jun 6, 2018
Jun 5, 2018
Phone on your face
Jun 5, 2018
Jun 4, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #3: Mansoor Basha
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 3, 2018
Jurassic Park on the left. The Goonies on the right.
Jun 3, 2018
Jun 2, 2018
People don't like you because you complain all the time.
Jun 2, 2018
Jun 1, 2018
Resolution update: May 2018
Jun 1, 2018
May 2018
May 31, 2018
Have some shame. Move out.
May 31, 2018
May 30, 2018
Charles Wallace Dicks: Age 6
May 30, 2018
May 29, 2018
Quotation marks create a bizarre mystery
May 29, 2018
May 28, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #2: Michelle Sebastianelli
May 28, 2018
May 27, 2018
Be a satisficer.
May 27, 2018
May 26, 2018
Keyboard
May 26, 2018
May 25, 2018
It's not all about the sleep
May 25, 2018
May 24, 2018
Morning conversation scares me.
May 24, 2018
May 23, 2018
Which hot dog is best?
May 23, 2018
May 22, 2018
Want me to find faith in God? Try a sex joke.
May 22, 2018
May 21, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: The Podcast available today!
May 21, 2018
May 20, 2018
The threat of murder at midnight
May 20, 2018
May 19, 2018
Storyworthy in my hands!
May 19, 2018
May 18, 2018
A surprise breakfast with their friend. Not a potential heart attack for their father.
May 18, 2018
May 17, 2018
I made two instantaneous, temporary friends yesterday, and it meant everything to me.
May 17, 2018
May 16, 2018
Not a heart attack after all, but an eventful day nonetheless.
May 16, 2018
May 15, 2018
Ruth and Bush
May 15, 2018
May 14, 2018
So many white people...
May 14, 2018
May 13, 2018
I'm not supposed to be happy today.
May 13, 2018
May 12, 2018
Elysha the Unstoppable
May 12, 2018
May 11, 2018
Mohawks and Jessie Eisenberg
May 11, 2018
May 10, 2018
Constantly frowning and avoiding dogs at every turn
May 10, 2018
May 9, 2018
I am competitive, which means I might be a jerk but also other important things
May 9, 2018
May 8, 2018
A former student's advice on avoiding procrastination
May 8, 2018
May 7, 2018
A dose of 1850's racial politics to start my day
May 7, 2018
May 6, 2018
The old fashioned way of breaking up is the right way to break up
May 6, 2018
May 5, 2018
I did a backbend. Now I can do anything.
May 5, 2018
May 4, 2018
Pain and fear and joy all wrapped up in a stone
May 4, 2018
May 3, 2018
I don't see it.
May 3, 2018
May 2, 2018
Don't be selfish. Tell a story.
May 2, 2018
May 1, 2018
Resolution update: April 2018
May 1, 2018
April 2018
Apr 30, 2018
These people exist, and I can't stand them.
Apr 30, 2018
Apr 29, 2018
She's studying volume.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 28, 2018
Writing is already hard enough without this.
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 27, 2018
I was probably typecast.
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 26, 2018
Philosophy explained. For real.
Apr 26, 2018
Apr 25, 2018
Run to The Moth. Allow stories to lighten your load.
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 24, 2018
Stop with the woke. You'll look just as clueless and horrible as everyone else someday.
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 23, 2018
Live forever?
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 22, 2018
Setting goals is almost always important, except in this case
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 21, 2018
Billy Bishop Toronto City Airport is as quirky as it sounds
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 20, 2018
6 regrets
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 19, 2018
Eric Carmen's "Make Me Lose Control" is weird on many, many levels, including being inexplicably stuck in my head.
Apr 19, 2018
Apr 18, 2018
Eleven is evil.
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 17, 2018
A moment of honest-to-goodness terror
Apr 17, 2018
Apr 16, 2018
Worst decisions ever #1: My SportsCenter hat
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 15, 2018
My daughter meets Chelsea Clinton.
Apr 15, 2018
Apr 14, 2018
Why I'm obsessed with that traffic video
Apr 14, 2018
Apr 13, 2018
BOOK LAUNCH PARTY! SAVE THE DATE!
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 13, 2018
Kids say funny (and not so funny) things
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 12, 2018
Try something new. Again and again and again.
Apr 12, 2018
Apr 11, 2018
Evangelicals hate. Jesus would love.
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018
Going nowhere
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 9, 2018
Good news/bad news on the exoneration front
Apr 9, 2018
Apr 8, 2018
Snoopy's advice sucks
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 7, 2018
Just a T
Apr 7, 2018
Apr 6, 2018
Yes, they are real eggs
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 5, 2018
The best compliment wasn't about my hair
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 4, 2018
Time spent in the Starbucks drive thru line is not time well spent
Apr 4, 2018
Apr 3, 2018
Republican interns are white.
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 2, 2018
Best and worst April Fools Day ever
Apr 2, 2018
Apr 1, 2018
Resolution update: March 2018
Apr 1, 2018
March 2018
Mar 31, 2018
Traffic might make me a little crazy
Mar 31, 2018
Mar 30, 2018
It's always strange when state-run TV and the President aren't totally in sync
Mar 30, 2018
Mar 29, 2018
International Night: A reminder of what our country can and should be
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 28, 2018
Three continents in a single day
Mar 28, 2018
Mar 27, 2018
Memorizing phone numbers: An artifact of bygone days
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 26, 2018
New Evangelical definition of marriage
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 25, 2018
March For Our Lives 2018
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 24, 2018
Book clubs on boats. Book clubs in cars. Book clubs complete with game shows and nudity.
Mar 24, 2018
Mar 23, 2018
A call to action! Please? Pretty please?
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018
Brand new weapon of mass destruction
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 21, 2018
My first day without my friend
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 20, 2018
Kaleigh 2002-2018
Mar 20, 2018
Mar 19, 2018
23 years lost and nothing offered in return
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 18, 2018
Movies require logic in order to succeed. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri lacked that logic.
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 17, 2018
Joy in the small and the large
Mar 17, 2018
Mar 16, 2018
WeCroak: An app that does what my brain already does
Mar 16, 2018
Mar 15, 2018
CO2 is apparently like candy
Mar 15, 2018
Mar 14, 2018
People stay home when it rains. How stupid.
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 13, 2018
Snow days: One thing I love. One thing I hate.
Mar 13, 2018
Mar 12, 2018
An unusual and exhausting but unforgettable weekend thanks to a July night in 2011
Mar 12, 2018
Mar 11, 2018
The gift of a memory is one of the best gifts of all
Mar 11, 2018
Mar 10, 2018
The Georgia Senate is controlled by bigots in the pocket of the NRA
Mar 10, 2018
Mar 9, 2018
From genius to Bart Simpson
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 8, 2018
Boy vs. Girl: Our 100th episode
Mar 8, 2018
Mar 7, 2018
This is the way to live
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 6, 2018
A sign, a grade book, and a bathtub are just a few of my memories of Hyde School
Mar 6, 2018
Mar 5, 2018
4 good ideas and 4 bad ideas about book clubs
Mar 5, 2018
Mar 4, 2018
Being a jerk and needing food stamps are mutually exclusive conditions
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 3, 2018
I performed in the dark. Without amplification. The results were surprising.
Mar 3, 2018
Mar 2, 2018
One of the best podcast episodes of all time
Mar 2, 2018
Mar 1, 2018
Resolution update: February 2018
Mar 1, 2018
February 2018
Feb 28, 2018
I killed a whale. Also, I played golf in the snow.
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 27, 2018
Anatomy of a friendship: Shep
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 26, 2018
A bit of unsolicited, surely unwanted advice for my millennial friends
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 25, 2018
Robbery fail leads to great cheer and a smidgen of empathy
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 24, 2018
"Once or twice" is the sign of a lie
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 23, 2018
My daughter's art features an unusual and unexpected element
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 22, 2018
The President of the United States relied on scripted empathy
Feb 22, 2018
Feb 21, 2018
Americans want greater gun control. Lawmakers do not.
Feb 21, 2018
Feb 20, 2018
They couldn't play tic-tac-toe because of bandwidth.
Feb 20, 2018
Feb 19, 2018
Meet Antony Borges: American hero and a boy who has done more to curb gun violence in America than all of Congress.
Feb 19, 2018
Feb 18, 2018
Brothers in name only
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 18, 2018
Trump's attempts to gaslight Americans again. And again. And again.
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 17, 2018
My son loves his mother and sister AND NO ONE ELSE.
Feb 17, 2018
Feb 16, 2018
The best birthday gift for a teacher might surprise you
Feb 16, 2018
Feb 15, 2018
It's time to end the hopes and prayers.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 14, 2018
One of life's most important skills
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018
Things I Do #10: I don't look at airline pilots
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 13, 2018
A reasonable response to anti-vaxxers
Feb 13, 2018
Feb 12, 2018
Chuck Todd's litany of vile and shameful events is worth watching
Feb 12, 2018
Feb 11, 2018
Moth StorySLAM: Clara Wants a Sister
Feb 11, 2018
Feb 10, 2018
My wife and kids slow me down. Gloriously so.
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 7, 2018
Trump can't be banned from Twitter, but then he shouldn't be able to block me, either.
Feb 7, 2018
Feb 6, 2018
It hurts to ask sometimes.
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 5, 2018
There was a time in this country when Dads knew more than kids
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 4, 2018
$1.50 and a deleted tweet says everything you need to know.
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 3, 2018
The offer of a golden toilet seems just right
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 2, 2018
Four books in two months has been challenging, and this isn't helping.
Feb 2, 2018
Feb 1, 2018
Resolution update: January 2018
Feb 1, 2018
January 2018
Jan 31, 2018
This video has aged badly. Very, very badly.
Jan 31, 2018
Jan 30, 2018
You're a writer? A real writer?
Jan 30, 2018
Jan 29, 2018
Save money. Pee on this page.
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 28, 2018
I love this and hate this.
Jan 28, 2018
Jan 27, 2018
Our boy watches Star Wars for the first time
Jan 27, 2018
Jan 26, 2018
The hardest and best apology
Jan 26, 2018
Jan 25, 2018
Stop getting older, little girl.
Jan 25, 2018
Jan 24, 2018
It's 9:00 on a Saturday...
Jan 24, 2018
Jan 23, 2018
Five sausages and a good story
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 22, 2018
It's a wonder I get anything done
Jan 22, 2018
Jan 21, 2018
Women's March 2018
Jan 21, 2018
Jan 20, 2018
Are my books a window into my soul?
Jan 20, 2018
Jan 19, 2018
When I launched my DJ career, it was ancient times
Jan 19, 2018
Jan 18, 2018
I learned about "onset" this week
Jan 18, 2018
Jan 17, 2018
Pickle smooch?
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 16, 2018
48,762 is a completely unacceptable number
Jan 16, 2018
Jan 15, 2018
My kind of protest
Jan 15, 2018
Jan 14, 2018
Don't be a jerk face, parents and teachers.
Jan 14, 2018
Jan 13, 2018
One tweet. Four deliberate, purposeful lies.
Jan 13, 2018
Jan 12, 2018
These are the kinds of words that Americans yearn to hear
Jan 12, 2018
Jan 11, 2018
Two impressive people
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 10, 2018
This punishment may have gone too far.
Jan 10, 2018
Jan 9, 2018
"I'll do the salmon" is stupid. I might be, too.
Jan 9, 2018
Jan 8, 2018
A bunch of old, white men are determining the course of our nation
Jan 8, 2018
Jan 7, 2018
What will be written on your tombstone?
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 6, 2018
This Trump tweet is 50 words long but says so much more.
Jan 6, 2018
Jan 5, 2018
One of these things is not like the other
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 4, 2018
Bruce and Clarence sharing a kiss, over and over and over again
Jan 4, 2018
Jan 3, 2018
Hire that kid today!
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 2, 2018
New Years Resolutions 2018
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 1, 2018
Resolution update: 2017 in review
Jan 1, 2018
December 2017
Dec 31, 2017
New Year's Eve 1993
Dec 31, 2017
Dec 30, 2017
The last one had better be the best one.
Dec 30, 2017
Dec 29, 2017
Writing a novel is hard enough already. I don't need these additional challenges.
Dec 29, 2017
Dec 28, 2017
HBO had some interesting offerings on Christmas Eve
Dec 28, 2017
Dec 27, 2017
My 2017 Christmas haul
Dec 27, 2017
Dec 26, 2017
Any gift that includes murder, blood, and betrayal is perfect in my book
Dec 26, 2017
Dec 25, 2017
Lest us not forget the real story of Christmas
Dec 25, 2017
Dec 24, 2017
I was a coward. I'm filled with regret.
Dec 24, 2017
Dec 23, 2017
Penguins were mating at a little girl's birthday party
Dec 23, 2017
Dec 22, 2017
Trump isn't fit to clean toilets
Dec 22, 2017
Dec 21, 2017
Awful human being alert
Dec 21, 2017
Dec 20, 2017
All I want for Christmas is a machine gun
Dec 20, 2017
Dec 19, 2017
When cowards hide behind digital walls and hurl grenades...
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 18, 2017
Some mistakes are worse than others
Dec 18, 2017
Dec 17, 2017
I talked to a stranger every day for a month. Here is what happened.
Dec 17, 2017
Dec 16, 2017
How I delivered an inspirational talk at a human trafficking conference (while knowing nothing about human trafficking)
Dec 16, 2017
Dec 15, 2017
My students are threatening the sanctity of our future
Dec 15, 2017
Dec 14, 2017
A sign. A tee-shirt. A business opportunity. A business partner.
Dec 14, 2017
Dec 13, 2017
Comeuppance!
Dec 13, 2017
Dec 12, 2017
I missed so much of '90's culture. Unfortunately?
Dec 12, 2017
Dec 11, 2017
Please don't let the Trump administration change your perception of history
Dec 11, 2017
Dec 10, 2017
If you enjoy a glass floor, don't forget to look down and thank your lucky stars
Dec 10, 2017
Dec 9, 2017
Things I do #12: I worry about people mentioned in songs who are frozen in time.
Dec 9, 2017
Dec 8, 2017
Things that make me cry
Dec 8, 2017
Dec 7, 2017
Setting goals for 2018
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 6, 2017
You can't be "useless after 8:00 PM" if you want to be productive
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 5, 2017
Americans would never allow someone like Roy Moore to work alongside them. Except for Republican Senators, of course.
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 4, 2017
Fun fact: My wife and I both attended all-women’s colleges
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 2, 2017
Unfair assumption #31: Book banners are stupid people
Dec 2, 2017
November 2017
Nov 30, 2017
The Ugly Duckling sucks
Nov 30, 2017
Nov 29, 2017
Dan Kennedy is right. Reach out to people whose work means the world to you.
Nov 29, 2017
Nov 28, 2017
How can you possibly have so many stories?
Nov 28, 2017
Nov 27, 2017
Things I do #11: I get angry at the other versions of me.
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 26, 2017
5 things that you can do to help me sell books (and one unusual thing that I do)
Nov 26, 2017
Nov 25, 2017
Cats and writers don't mix
Nov 25, 2017
Nov 24, 2017
The wealthy are often playing an entirely different game than the rest of us.
Nov 24, 2017
Nov 23, 2017
On this Thanksgiving, I choose to be thankful to Taryn.
Nov 23, 2017
Nov 22, 2017
I performed stand up comedy for the first time for one very important reason.
Nov 22, 2017
Nov 20, 2017
Crazy just got crazier (if that was possible)
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 19, 2017
Be kind to yourself. Celebrate your accomplishments. Have wild sex.
Nov 19, 2017
Nov 17, 2017
The Republican tax bill is legitimately but expectedly evil. These two tidbits are surprisingly evil.
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 16, 2017
Take a cold shower every day.
Nov 16, 2017
Nov 15, 2017
Recline at your own risk
Nov 15, 2017
Nov 14, 2017
When you think the awful cover is the original song
Nov 14, 2017
Nov 13, 2017
Just last week, ALL THIS happened...
Nov 13, 2017
Nov 12, 2017
I prayed for a full month. Here is what happened.
Nov 12, 2017
Nov 11, 2017
An only slightly satirical nod to 1980's sitcoms
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 10, 2017
Things I Do #10: I don't look at airline pilots
Nov 10, 2017
Nov 9, 2017
I've been told that I'm going to hell. I'm not sure I agree.
Nov 9, 2017
Nov 8, 2017
Vin Scully's boycott of the NFL is stupid
Nov 8, 2017
Nov 6, 2017
Daylight Saving should be celebrated (or eliminated)
Nov 6, 2017
Nov 5, 2017
Damn fine answer, Yasmin.
Nov 5, 2017
Nov 4, 2017
Bill Murray was wrong. Groundhog Day is AMAZING.
Nov 4, 2017
Nov 2, 2017
Peruvian beauty pageant contestants steal a moment
Nov 2, 2017
Nov 1, 2017
Resolution Update: October 2017
Nov 1, 2017
October 2017
Oct 31, 2017
Is God now here, or is God nowhere?
Oct 31, 2017
Oct 30, 2017
The 14 women who have accused Trump of sexual harassment or assault
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 29, 2017
Two things that will produce amazing results.
Oct 29, 2017
Oct 28, 2017
A high opinion of your own opinion is a very good thing
Oct 28, 2017
Oct 27, 2017
My kids were sweet and lovely this week. Don't try to tell me otherwise.
Oct 27, 2017
Oct 26, 2017
As long as you're not as sexually repressed as the Vice President, the gender-neutral restroom is working just fine
Oct 26, 2017
Oct 25, 2017
Lyric Problems: Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven is a Place on Earth"
Oct 25, 2017
Oct 24, 2017
Guest post: Daniel Dale's Twitter feed
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 23, 2017
I want a little signage, damn it.
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 22, 2017
Just the kind of conversation I want before sunrise
Oct 22, 2017
Oct 21, 2017
The men's restroom: All I want is a little consistency, please...
Oct 21, 2017
Oct 20, 2017
Earning his keep
Oct 20, 2017
Oct 19, 2017
When will she die?
Oct 19, 2017
Oct 18, 2017
Two word horror story
Oct 18, 2017
Oct 17, 2017
Free Dive
Oct 17, 2017
Oct 16, 2017
Julian Edleman changes everything!
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 15, 2017
Sibling love is a strange and varied thing
Oct 15, 2017
Oct 14, 2017
Complacency kills.
Oct 14, 2017
Oct 13, 2017
Lyric Problems: Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe"
Oct 13, 2017
Oct 12, 2017
"Don't you dare..." are words most frequently uttered by morons
Oct 12, 2017
Oct 11, 2017
This is not the Jesus you learned about in Sunday School
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 10, 2017
Why I say unpopular things
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 9, 2017
Feline barrier to creativity
Oct 9, 2017
Oct 8, 2017
Signs should not have attitudes. They should also be grammatically correct.
Oct 8, 2017
Oct 7, 2017
Trump's boycott list does not make America great at all
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 6, 2017
Things I Do #9: I avoid The Sound of Music
Oct 6, 2017
Oct 5, 2017
I hate problems. Not everyone feels the same.
Oct 5, 2017
Oct 4, 2017
One of our cats is much better than the other.
Oct 4, 2017
Oct 3, 2017
On a day of tragedy, a little hope.
Oct 3, 2017
Oct 2, 2017
Resolution update: September 2017
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 1, 2017
Daddy is Mommy GPS
Oct 1, 2017
September 2017
Sep 30, 2017
Lyric Problems: Rachel Platten's "I'll Stand By You"
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 29, 2017
Someone wrote a song about me! About me!
Sep 29, 2017
Sep 28, 2017
A Trump supporter has found his bridge-too-far, and it's pathetic
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 27, 2017
Practice makes perfect
Sep 27, 2017
Sep 26, 2017
Would I ever take a knee in protest during the national anthem?
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 25, 2017
My favorite piece of paper
Sep 25, 2017
Sep 24, 2017
Republicans don't read The Bible
Sep 24, 2017
Sep 24, 2017
Never call it a "side hustle."
Sep 24, 2017
Sep 23, 2017
Lyric Problems: Van Halen's "Jump"
Sep 23, 2017
Sep 21, 2017
For the first time in his life, my son cried because of a book.
Sep 21, 2017
Sep 20, 2017
Quite possibly the worst person in the world
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 19, 2017
Share your failures with the world
Sep 19, 2017
Sep 18, 2017
Our dream-come-true comes to an end. A new chapter begins today.
Sep 18, 2017
Sep 17, 2017
A Columbian tradition that I will make my own
Sep 17, 2017
Sep 16, 2017
The fade out (and fade in) explained.
Sep 16, 2017
Sep 15, 2017
Mystery machine
Sep 15, 2017
Sep 14, 2017
Teaching is full of unexpected surprises
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 13, 2017
TEDx Pomfret: It's Not the Curriculum
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 12, 2017
A serious commitment to golf
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 11, 2017
An untimely poop and a blocked toilet lead to magic.
Sep 11, 2017
Sep 10, 2017
My favorite billboard
Sep 10, 2017
Sep 9, 2017
I am not talented.
Sep 9, 2017
Sep 8, 2017
When you tell your girlfriend via text that you wrote her a poem...
Sep 8, 2017
Sep 7, 2017
A sad, retired, perhaps unstable man
Sep 7, 2017
Sep 6, 2017
My son thinks I'm a golfing god
Sep 6, 2017
Sep 5, 2017
Time to break the law on behalf of Harriet Tubman
Sep 5, 2017
Sep 4, 2017
How do you juggle so many balls at once? The answer is simple.
Sep 4, 2017
Sep 3, 2017
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2017
Sep 3, 2017
Sep 2, 2017
Trump's "real" job numbers
Sep 2, 2017
Sep 1, 2017
Resolution update: August 2017
Sep 1, 2017
August 2017
Aug 31, 2017
Quite the catch
Aug 31, 2017
Aug 30, 2017
Stretch your summer
Aug 30, 2017
Aug 29, 2017
A little girl, a Supreme Court justice, and courage
Aug 29, 2017
Aug 28, 2017
A fitting end to a new beginning
Aug 28, 2017
Aug 27, 2017
Things I Do #8: I plant pennies heads-up
Aug 27, 2017
Aug 26, 2017
Northeast School is a stupid name for a school. Three times over.
Aug 26, 2017
Aug 25, 2017
'80's John Hughes villain comes alive
Aug 25, 2017
Aug 24, 2017
Forest Man is the best man
Aug 24, 2017
Aug 23, 2017
Boy and bear
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017
This is what a free and excellent media looks like
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 22, 2017
The eclipse was underwhelming and a little boring. I wish it happened more often.
Aug 22, 2017
Aug 21, 2017
The ineffectiveness of signage
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 20, 2017
Don't forget.
Aug 20, 2017
Aug 19, 2017
A possible (though not advised) replacement for heart medication
Aug 19, 2017
Aug 18, 2017
Thoughts on hiring
Aug 18, 2017
Aug 17, 2017
Tyrion Lannister got it right.
Aug 17, 2017
Aug 16, 2017
This, too, shall pass.
Aug 16, 2017
Aug 15, 2017
I don't sleep like a robot. Or Frankenstein. Do I?
Aug 15, 2017
Aug 14, 2017
Religious folk shouldn't be filled with so much hate
Aug 14, 2017
Aug 13, 2017
Heather Heyer: Patriot and hero of the first order
Aug 13, 2017
Aug 12, 2017
A restroom sign need not indicate the activity that takes place therein.
Aug 12, 2017
Aug 11, 2017
Teachers: Writers never write one thing at a time. Stop ruining children.
Aug 11, 2017
Aug 10, 2017
A note on meetings
Aug 10, 2017
Aug 9, 2017
Genital usage restrictions must be adhered to at all times
Aug 9, 2017
Aug 8, 2017
So many jokes. Such little ears.
Aug 8, 2017
Aug 7, 2017
Disconnect the easy way.
Aug 7, 2017
Aug 6, 2017
Just listen to this. Please.
Aug 6, 2017
Aug 5, 2017
Not unisex. Omnisex.
Aug 5, 2017
Aug 4, 2017
Commitment, persistence, and practice can look a lot like talent. Don't be fooled.
Aug 4, 2017
Aug 3, 2017
Call it a lie when it's a lie.
Aug 3, 2017
Aug 2, 2017
I wrote on an island. Under a tree. In the middle of a parking lot.
Aug 2, 2017
Aug 1, 2017
Resolution Update: July 2017
Aug 1, 2017
July 2017
Jul 31, 2017
There are six seasons. Not four.
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 30, 2017
So many white people
Jul 30, 2017
Jul 29, 2017
Sleeping babies: Less shame. More sleep.
Jul 29, 2017
Jul 28, 2017
Republican Congressmen threaten female Senators with violence. This is not normal.
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 27, 2017
I never saw The Ramones in concert. It kills me.
Jul 27, 2017
Jul 26, 2017
Check your privilege at the door
Jul 26, 2017
Jul 25, 2017
Trump stomped on tradition at the 2017 Boy Scout National Jamboree.
Jul 25, 2017
Jul 24, 2017
The Macarena is fine. It's these two songs that I despise.
Jul 24, 2017
Jul 23, 2017
Why I am still a wedding DJ after 20 years
Jul 23, 2017
Jul 22, 2017
The New York Times use of honorifics must end.
Jul 22, 2017
Jul 21, 2017
I was offered a full scholarship at Yale, and I passed.
Jul 21, 2017
Jul 20, 2017
A whole lot of beauty
Jul 20, 2017
Jul 19, 2017
I am successful because I am white.
Jul 19, 2017
Jul 18, 2017
Thinking is a part of the writing process, damn it
Jul 18, 2017
Jul 17, 2017
This is how every employee should be treated
Jul 17, 2017
Jul 16, 2017
Happy anniversary to us.
Jul 16, 2017
Jul 15, 2017
A boy and a book in Columbia
Jul 15, 2017
Jul 15, 2017
Trump makes my head hurt
Jul 15, 2017
Jul 14, 2017
Someone remind my children that I pay the mortgage
Jul 14, 2017
Jul 13, 2017
Republican men decide that women can't wear sleeveless dresses because they are apparently afraid of lady shoulders
Jul 13, 2017
Jul 12, 2017
Donald Trump has blocked me on Twitter
Jul 12, 2017
Jul 11, 2017
Fill your life with young people
Jul 11, 2017
Jul 10, 2017
What are you doing that scares you?
Jul 10, 2017
Jul 9, 2017
Sharing your vacation photos is lovely, but how about some wisdom and insight to go along with it?
Jul 9, 2017
Jul 8, 2017
"They call me Matt."
Jul 8, 2017
Jul 7, 2017
Rick Perry didn't understand the Department that he now runs, but he REALLY doesn't understand basic economic theory
Jul 7, 2017
Jul 6, 2017
You have to admire a church willing to take this kind of literary stand
Jul 6, 2017
Jul 5, 2017
I stand opposed to applauding when the people responsible for the source of the applause are not present.
Jul 5, 2017
Jul 4, 2017
The NRA: Important facts to remember before their crazy attack ads scare the hell out of you.
Jul 4, 2017
Jul 3, 2017
We knew exactly what we were getting.
Jul 3, 2017
Jul 2, 2017
Reputation matters even more when the world is small.
Jul 2, 2017
Jul 1, 2017
Resolution update June 2017
Jul 1, 2017
June 2017
Jun 30, 2017
My summer vacation started with pain and fear. Then one man made it better.
Jun 30, 2017
Jun 29, 2017
Boys in skirts
Jun 29, 2017
Jun 28, 2017
I don't have T-rex arms, but if I did, it would be for a very good reason.
Jun 28, 2017
Jun 27, 2017
A summer camp has adopted my restriction on commenting on physical appearance, and I'm thrilled.
Jun 27, 2017
Jun 26, 2017
Greatest badass of all time
Jun 26, 2017
Jun 25, 2017
Dumb school officials make dumb decision
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 24, 2017
Last Man Standing
Jun 24, 2017
Jun 23, 2017
Hermit crabs could teach US politicians a thing or two
Jun 23, 2017
Jun 22, 2017
"All gender" restroom signs are the best
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 21, 2017
Democratic Republic of the Congo, of course!
Jun 21, 2017
Jun 20, 2017
Heroes have a way of making you realize how small-minded and ungrateful you have been.
Jun 20, 2017
Jun 19, 2017
Shameful Betsy DeVos can't say what most human beings can say with ease
Jun 19, 2017
Jun 18, 2017
Suck less
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 18, 2017
Not all sources of inspiration are equal
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 16, 2017
Sleeps like her daddy
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 15, 2017
If you are reading this, it is very likely that you don't deserve the fourth cookie
Jun 15, 2017
Jun 14, 2017
The things I get done while sleepwalking
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 13, 2017
Wherever you stand on the political spectrum, you have to admire and hopefully agree with everything that James Comey says here during last week's hearings.
Jun 13, 2017
Jun 12, 2017
Why indeed.
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 11, 2017
How to Save a Boy
Jun 11, 2017
Jun 10, 2017
My home state's stupidly misspelled word, and some confusion about misspelling related to pornography
Jun 10, 2017
Jun 9, 2017
I wish my students would accuse me of a war crime
Jun 9, 2017
Jun 8, 2017
17 rules I break
Jun 8, 2017
Jun 7, 2017
My children's personal ten commandments are beautiful, heart wrenching, and completely applicable.
Jun 7, 2017
Jun 6, 2017
Rachel Platten has it all wrong when it comes to truth and faith, and I have no idea why.
Jun 6, 2017
Jun 5, 2017
Change happens slowly, methodically, and daily. Most people refuse to accept this.
Jun 5, 2017
Jun 4, 2017
Increased degree of difficulty is not appreciated
Jun 4, 2017
Jun 3, 2017
Didn't exist in 2005
Jun 3, 2017
Jun 2, 2017
RIP Uncle Harry
Jun 2, 2017
Jun 1, 2017
Resolution update: May 2017
Jun 1, 2017
May 2017
May 31, 2017
My friends know me better than I do. Also, my ophthalmologist doesn't know me at all.
May 31, 2017
May 30, 2017
I don't like the way I look.
May 30, 2017
May 29, 2017
Fear not. This is not an example of bigotry as I initially thought. It's simply stupidity.
May 29, 2017
May 28, 2017
Our cats are not perfect.
May 28, 2017
May 27, 2017
You're standing on a cliff, too...
May 27, 2017
May 26, 2017
Ray of light
May 26, 2017
May 25, 2017
Even in the darkest of times, you can find pinpricks of light. Here are a few from this week.
May 25, 2017
May 24, 2017
"Begs the question" brings joy to my heart. Rarely.
May 24, 2017
May 23, 2017
Worst obituary ever. Greatest correction ever.
May 23, 2017
May 22, 2017
A simple explanation of public opinion
May 22, 2017
May 21, 2017
Seven and counting...
May 21, 2017
May 20, 2017
Be happy for rule breakers
May 20, 2017
May 19, 2017
Baseball players are damn cowards
May 19, 2017
May 18, 2017
The Moth: The Robbery
May 18, 2017
May 17, 2017
Let's do this.
May 17, 2017
May 16, 2017
I choose to remember by aunt Diane in a way I never got to see her.
May 16, 2017
May 15, 2017
The Two-Day Rule: A means by which I have become more productive and trusted.
May 15, 2017
May 14, 2017
Verbal sparring: Don't allow your opponent (Trump) prescribe beliefs to you
May 14, 2017
May 13, 2017
One man. Two dozen women. A bunch of interesting questions.
May 13, 2017
May 12, 2017
Shorter is almost always better
May 12, 2017
May 11, 2017
Best tweet ever
May 11, 2017
May 10, 2017
Incompetent, racist, or both?
May 10, 2017
May 9, 2017
I don't like teachers who act like jerks
May 9, 2017
May 8, 2017
I made an old lady cry. I asked if I was wrong. Readers responded.
May 8, 2017
May 7, 2017
Things I Do #7: I cut corners
May 7, 2017
May 6, 2017
My three greatest acts of storytelling cruelty
May 6, 2017
May 5, 2017
How to improve church attendance
May 5, 2017
May 4, 2017
I may learn to bake if it's always this cute
May 4, 2017
May 4, 2017
Financial PTSD: The perfect description of a persistent affliction
May 4, 2017
May 2, 2017
Fantastic or terrible?
May 2, 2017
May 1, 2017
Resolution update: April 2017
May 1, 2017
April 2017
Apr 30, 2017
A strong opinion on the onion volcano
Apr 30, 2017
Apr 29, 2017
Desperately seeking trouble
Apr 29, 2017
Apr 28, 2017
Bad day
Apr 28, 2017
Apr 27, 2017
I made an old woman cry. Was I wrong?
Apr 27, 2017
Apr 25, 2017
Demanding "a seat at the table" doesn't strike me as very demanding
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 24, 2017
I don't teach mindfulness. Don't ever accuse me of teaching mindfulness. Here's why.
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 23, 2017
The law of choice in dating (and a call for the end of tribalism)
Apr 23, 2017
Apr 22, 2017
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend fan art
Apr 22, 2017
Apr 21, 2017
The essence of a New England Patriots fan and a Bostonian in 5 tweets.
Apr 21, 2017
Apr 20, 2017
School lunch shaming needs to stop. Simple solution: Adults need to stop acting despicable.
Apr 20, 2017
Apr 19, 2017
The next time you need to go into battle...
Apr 19, 2017
Apr 18, 2017
Warning: Women with handbags crossing
Apr 18, 2017
Apr 17, 2017
A tribute to Carrie Fisher
Apr 17, 2017
Apr 16, 2017
How Can You Help Students Cope With Getting College Rejection Letters?
Apr 16, 2017
Apr 15, 2017
New policy: Transform a meeting into an actual meeting.
Apr 15, 2017
Apr 14, 2017
Things I Do #6: I touch bricks
Apr 14, 2017
Apr 13, 2017
The one thing about Sean Spicer's recent bout of stupidity that I haven't heard mentioned
Apr 13, 2017
Apr 12, 2017
How to identify passive voice
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 11, 2017
United Airlines is its own worst enemy. They need help. I have offered.
Apr 11, 2017
Apr 10, 2017
People misspeak. When their words are bigoted or sexist, we automatically condemn. We should think twice.
Apr 10, 2017
Apr 9, 2017
Current career listing: Perhaps you require my services and just don't know it yet.
Apr 9, 2017
Apr 8, 2017
When I was my daughter's age, I did not know that the Supreme Court existed. Her knowledge is slightly more expansive.
Apr 8, 2017
Apr 7, 2017
Decoding century labels shouldn't be this difficult
Apr 7, 2017
Apr 6, 2017
Sleeping less is not the secret to my productivity. Television is.
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 5, 2017
19 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was 20
Apr 5, 2017
Apr 4, 2017
Rogue One on VHS: A taste of the perfect childhood
Apr 4, 2017
Apr 3, 2017
If your schedule your meeting for one hour, and then your meeting lasts exactly one hour, you have failed.
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 2, 2017
Be happy. Judge on intent.
Apr 2, 2017
Apr 1, 2017
Resolution update: March 2017
Apr 1, 2017
March 2017
Mar 31, 2017
Simplify your life. Just love everyone. Even if you're a bigot.
Mar 31, 2017
Mar 30, 2017
When is complaining acceptable?
Mar 30, 2017
Mar 29, 2017
My less-than-private, not-so-well-appointed office
Mar 29, 2017
Mar 28, 2017
Moments like this make me think that perhaps there's a higher power after all
Mar 28, 2017
Mar 27, 2017
We adopted two cats. Our kids' reaction was... unexpected.
Mar 27, 2017
Mar 26, 2017
Meals on Wheels: My grandparents (and science) understand the importance for this program
Mar 26, 2017
Mar 25, 2017
Beautiful but temporary: Why would an artist ever choose such a fleeting medium?
Mar 25, 2017
Mar 24, 2017
A bunch of white men apparently too stupid to realize that they are all white men.
Mar 24, 2017
Mar 23, 2017
Famous people who I've met thanks to storytelling
Mar 23, 2017
Mar 22, 2017
The things kids say...
Mar 22, 2017
Mar 21, 2017
Your compliments about physical appearance are meaningless. Try these instead.
Mar 21, 2017
Mar 20, 2017
The 6 levels of humility
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 19, 2017
What I try to teach my girls
Mar 19, 2017
Mar 18, 2017
Change can happen quickly. If you allow it.
Mar 18, 2017
Mar 17, 2017
I'm never this angry. I swear.
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 16, 2017
Details matter. They matter a hell of a lot.
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 15, 2017
Say no to "more details."
Mar 15, 2017
Mar 14, 2017
It is only snow and nothing more.
Mar 14, 2017
Mar 13, 2017
Stories are so damn important.
Mar 13, 2017
Mar 12, 2017
End the scourge of the additional anus
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 11, 2017
Rules of Self Praise by the Brilliant and Handsome Matthew Dicks
Mar 11, 2017
Mar 10, 2017
Only in New York
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 9, 2017
Michael Bloomberg on succeeding in business
Mar 9, 2017
Mar 8, 2017
I broke my promise to my wife: The origin story of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Mar 8, 2017
Mar 7, 2017
In case you missed it, an important comment from a reader
Mar 7, 2017
Mar 6, 2017
I fear that this sentiment may be in short supply today.
Mar 6, 2017
Mar 5, 2017
Critics of food stamps need to experience a childhood of hunger
Mar 5, 2017
Mar 4, 2017
A sign attached to a vending machine accurately describes the emotional state of many Americans
Mar 4, 2017
Mar 3, 2017
Joy is the willingness to show your underwear on a roller coaster
Mar 3, 2017
Mar 2, 2017
I failed the "Where do babies come from?" question, but only because my son is a biology nerd.
Mar 2, 2017
Mar 1, 2017
Resolution update: February 2017
Mar 1, 2017
February 2017
Feb 28, 2017
Unfair assumption #30: CVS shopping carts were not made to be filled.
Feb 28, 2017
Feb 27, 2017
Good ideas are a dime a dozen. Never settle.
Feb 27, 2017
Feb 26, 2017
The Education Secretary is knowingly endangering children
Feb 26, 2017
Feb 25, 2017
Tiny moments like this is why I teach
Feb 25, 2017
Feb 24, 2017
I was stupid when I was young.
Feb 24, 2017
Feb 23, 2017
The glory and might of a good old fashioned pillow fight
Feb 23, 2017
Feb 22, 2017
Men who grumble about jeans and sweaters are stupid.
Feb 22, 2017
Feb 21, 2017
The Internet has certainly evolved in the last 20 years
Feb 21, 2017
Feb 20, 2017
5 things to remember when bemoaning the proliferation of casual dress in America.
Feb 20, 2017
Feb 19, 2017
Trump called the media "the enemy of the American people." This could not be further from the truth.
Feb 19, 2017
Feb 18, 2017
Three types of people who people hate
Feb 18, 2017
Feb 17, 2017
Watch this.
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 16, 2017
My daughter embraces respectful dissent and nonconformity. Even in the face of Trump.
Feb 16, 2017
Feb 15, 2017
The real answer to "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Feb 15, 2017
Feb 14, 2017
Before you criticize the Superintendent for a snow day decision, consider this.
Feb 14, 2017
Feb 13, 2017
Trumpian typos abound - and frighten me to death
Feb 13, 2017
Feb 12, 2017
Brother and Sister Day
Feb 12, 2017
Feb 11, 2017
Got kids? Here's how to turn them into writers.
Feb 11, 2017
Feb 10, 2017
Follow this rule. Change your life.
Feb 10, 2017
Feb 9, 2017
Victory brownies and the definition of fandom and friendship
Feb 9, 2017
Feb 8, 2017
15 piece of advice from Elizabeth Sampat
Feb 8, 2017
Feb 5, 2017
My daughter, the eccentric artist
Feb 5, 2017
Feb 4, 2017
I spent $15,000 while I was sleepwalking.
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 3, 2017
Verbal sparring: Never tell someone to do something that they can ignore
Feb 3, 2017
Feb 2, 2017
The Lincoln Memorial. In blocks.
Feb 2, 2017
Feb 1, 2017
Resolution update: January 2017
Feb 1, 2017
January 2017
Jan 31, 2017
9 Specific Steps to Standing Against Donald Trump
Jan 31, 2017
Jan 30, 2017
A very sweet boy who wants to see your insides
Jan 30, 2017
Jan 29, 2017
The 5 Stages of an Author's Reaction to Editorial Notes
Jan 29, 2017
Jan 28, 2017
This hateful Muslim Ban must end now.
Jan 28, 2017
Jan 27, 2017
I lost a "friend" this week in an interesting, baffling, and amusing way
Jan 27, 2017
Jan 26, 2017
Something to think about as Trump closes our borders to refugees
Jan 26, 2017
Jan 25, 2017
I'm fairly certain I would hate this person if we met
Jan 25, 2017
Jan 24, 2017
One person is listening. Perhaps more, but at least one. I'm so pleased.
Jan 24, 2017
Jan 23, 2017
Things I Do #5: We say my name first
Jan 23, 2017
Jan 22, 2017
Psychology of true friends
Jan 22, 2017
Jan 21, 2017
The Today Show: Educational television at its best
Jan 21, 2017
Jan 20, 2017
Our President is a sex offender or pretends to be a sex offender.
Jan 20, 2017
Jan 19, 2017
A short-sighted and fairly presumptuous name
Jan 19, 2017
Jan 18, 2017
I might know more about education than Trump's nominee for Education Secretary.
Jan 18, 2017
Jan 17, 2017
Find something to be this excited and happy about...
Jan 17, 2017
Jan 16, 2017
Unfair assumption #29: Football fans are more effective in emergencies
Jan 16, 2017
Jan 15, 2017
Springsteen on parents (and perhaps a path to my salvation)
Jan 15, 2017
Jan 14, 2017
The best thing about my wife's family might surprise you (but shouldn't)
Jan 14, 2017
Jan 13, 2017
Little Guy Defeats Big Guy
Jan 13, 2017
Jan 12, 2017
Spare your parental advice unless you know how to give parental advice
Jan 12, 2017
Jan 11, 2017
On rare and special occasions, darkness can breed such light. This is one such occasion.
Jan 11, 2017
Jan 10, 2017
How many phone numbers do you know?
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 9, 2017
The countdown begins...
Jan 9, 2017
Jan 8, 2017
This correction could only be found in a New York Times wedding announcement
Jan 8, 2017
Jan 7, 2017
Best introduction ever
Jan 7, 2017
Jan 6, 2017
Some mistakes are larger than others
Jan 6, 2017
Jan 5, 2017
This is the worst thing you can do to a storyteller
Jan 5, 2017
Jan 4, 2017
Things I Do #4: I drive like a teenager
Jan 4, 2017
Jan 3, 2017
In defense of editors
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 2, 2017
A small bit of marital advice
Jan 2, 2017
Jan 1, 2017
Dick Clark is dead. He is sorely missed.
Jan 1, 2017
Jan 1, 2017
New Year's Resolutions 2017
Jan 1, 2017
December 2016
Dec 31, 2016
Resolution update: 2016 in review
Dec 31, 2016
Dec 30, 2016
What is wrong with Queens?
Dec 30, 2016
Dec 30, 2016
My 2016 Christmas haul
Dec 30, 2016
Dec 29, 2016
Unfair assumption #28: Parents who threaten to disown their children based upon their marital choices are the lowest form of human life.
Dec 29, 2016
Dec 29, 2016
In regards to Russian hacking: "I think we ought to get on with our lives." Also, word salad.
Dec 29, 2016
Dec 28, 2016
Bottle flipping: I gave it a month. Here are my thoughts.
Dec 28, 2016
Dec 27, 2016
"Merry Christmas" is perfectly fine. But the existence of Jews should not be a secret.
Dec 27, 2016
Dec 26, 2016
The truth about red meat (and an ugly truth about me)
Dec 26, 2016
Dec 25, 2016
Bruce Springsteen understands the cliff. Do you?
Dec 25, 2016
Dec 24, 2016
When someone suggests that we give Donald Trump a chance, say this.
Dec 24, 2016
Dec 23, 2016
Why I cry when looking at old photographs like this.
Dec 23, 2016
Dec 22, 2016
If you forbid jeans at your place of business, you're not thinking straight. You might even be a coward.
Dec 22, 2016
Dec 21, 2016
I went to the bathroom alongside a bunch of ladies, and something surprising happened.
Dec 21, 2016
Dec 20, 2016
The perils of the road
Dec 20, 2016
Dec 19, 2016
My problem with honorifics
Dec 19, 2016
Dec 18, 2016
Driving in cars (and planes) with complete strangers
Dec 18, 2016
Dec 17, 2016
Gas stations suck (at least in this regard)
Dec 17, 2016
Dec 16, 2016
Truth about meetings (at least most of them)
Dec 16, 2016
Dec 15, 2016
The three worst things ever
Dec 15, 2016
Dec 14, 2016
My favorite sentence of the year
Dec 14, 2016
Dec 13, 2016
Cousin Oliver sucked.
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 12, 2016
This is a thing.
Dec 12, 2016
Dec 11, 2016
Meditation and McDonald's
Dec 11, 2016
Dec 10, 2016
One of the best comebacks I've heard in a while
Dec 10, 2016
Dec 9, 2016
Trump's two possible views of sexual assault
Dec 9, 2016
Dec 8, 2016
Dan Kennedy on life and the nature of success
Dec 8, 2016
Dec 7, 2016
I drink Diet Coke. Now do me a favor and shut up about it.
Dec 7, 2016
Dec 6, 2016
I fought off a pit bull in order to save my dog's life. This guy did one better.
Dec 6, 2016
Dec 5, 2016
Daily affirmations don't work (for me, at least)
Dec 5, 2016
Dec 4, 2016
Which is funnier? Saturday Night Live? Trump's response to SNL? Alec Baldwin's response to Trump?
Dec 4, 2016
Dec 3, 2016
How I stand against the vile, intolerant, hateful speech and policy proposals of the President-elect (and how you can, too)
Dec 3, 2016
Dec 2, 2016
A little spot of joy.
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 1, 2016
Resolution update: November 2016
Dec 1, 2016
November 2016
Nov 30, 2016
How Can I Pick My Favorite Day?
Nov 30, 2016
Nov 29, 2016
This is what the Democratic Party must do now to protect voting rights
Nov 29, 2016
Nov 28, 2016
I thrive in possibly inappropriately competitive situations.
Nov 28, 2016
Nov 27, 2016
My little boy is expanding his horizons.
Nov 27, 2016
Nov 26, 2016
Melting ice sucks, but projectiles to the head are bad, too.
Nov 26, 2016
Nov 25, 2016
Serious solution if Trump attempts to enact a Muslim registry
Nov 25, 2016
Nov 24, 2016
No thanks to give on this Thanksgiving
Nov 24, 2016
Nov 23, 2016
Deep thoughts in the early morning hours regarding an important consumer product
Nov 23, 2016
Nov 22, 2016
Things I Do #3: I talk to dead trees.
Nov 22, 2016
Nov 21, 2016
Republican Senators, Congresspeople, and interns have something oddly in common
Nov 21, 2016
Nov 20, 2016
Humility is lovely and oftentimes lacking in this world
Nov 20, 2016
Nov 20, 2016
A perfect explanation of our President-elect's thin skin
Nov 20, 2016
Nov 19, 2016
Shakespeare's words seem rather appropriate even today
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 18, 2016
Pausing the action preserved my chest, my career, and my freedom
Nov 18, 2016
Nov 16, 2016
Books can change a child in unspeakable ways.
Nov 16, 2016
Nov 15, 2016
Iguana vs. Snakes
Nov 15, 2016
Nov 14, 2016
Seasons Up Close Episode 1
Nov 14, 2016
Nov 13, 2016
Donna Gosk stepped off the aircraft carrier. Nothing has been the same ever since.
Nov 13, 2016
Nov 12, 2016
The Weird Book Room: The last place I want my books to end up
Nov 12, 2016
Nov 11, 2016
The mix tape was something special
Nov 11, 2016
Nov 10, 2016
Things I Do #2: I whisper the names of former colleagues
Nov 10, 2016
Nov 9, 2016
The morning after, there is much to do. Much to remember.
Nov 9, 2016
Nov 8, 2016
Tummy or vagina?
Nov 8, 2016
Nov 8, 2016
These are times when your country should come before your brand.
Nov 8, 2016
Nov 7, 2016
Things I Do #1: I routinely offer advice to houseflies
Nov 7, 2016
Nov 6, 2016
Saturday morning reading material
Nov 6, 2016
Nov 5, 2016
Unsatisfying
Nov 5, 2016
Nov 4, 2016
I feel terrible for the Chicago Cubs fans, and for good reason.
Nov 4, 2016
Nov 3, 2016
Pulling back the curtain on the translation process
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 2, 2016
Ashes to dishes
Nov 2, 2016
Nov 1, 2016
Resolution update: October 2016
Nov 1, 2016
October 2016
Oct 31, 2016
Worst Halloween treat ever
Oct 31, 2016
Oct 30, 2016
Catholics should be able to scatter their ashes wherever they damn well please.
Oct 30, 2016
Oct 29, 2016
My new TV gig
Oct 29, 2016
Oct 28, 2016
Be happy for the good fortune of others. It's a happier and more productive way to live.
Oct 28, 2016
Oct 27, 2016
Collaboration is great. Right?
Oct 27, 2016
Oct 26, 2016
Put stuff on the Internet and watch what happens
Oct 26, 2016
Oct 25, 2016
Random chairs in restrooms make me uncomfortable. Justifiably so. Right?
Oct 25, 2016
Oct 24, 2016
Why should I experience unnecessary minor pain? Because I choose not to be soft.
Oct 24, 2016
Oct 23, 2016
Professional Mini Golf: Competitive, cutthroat, and quirky?
Oct 23, 2016
Oct 22, 2016
Wardrobe malfunction
Oct 22, 2016
Oct 21, 2016
Great first sentences (and an analysis of the first sentences of my own novels)
Oct 21, 2016
Oct 20, 2016
"Yeah, but..."
Oct 20, 2016
Oct 19, 2016
Quite possibly Bruce Springsteen's most brilliant and perfect observation ever
Oct 19, 2016
Oct 18, 2016
Unfair assumption #27: People who object to mothers breast-feeding in public are freakish, worthless prudes and more
Oct 18, 2016
Oct 17, 2016
This Playmobil bicycle helmet does not appeal to me, and for good reason.
Oct 17, 2016
Oct 16, 2016
How Poor Were You?
Oct 16, 2016
Oct 15, 2016
Unfair assumption #26: Adults who drink milk are lunatics
Oct 15, 2016
Oct 14, 2016
Sometimes a job is more than a job.
Oct 14, 2016
Oct 13, 2016
This is more important than selling shoes and books.
Oct 13, 2016
Oct 12, 2016
The Moth: The Promise
Oct 12, 2016
Oct 11, 2016
Best insult ever
Oct 11, 2016
Oct 10, 2016
Practicing your speech in front of a mirror makes no sense
Oct 10, 2016
Oct 9, 2016
Confessions of a Patriots Season Ticket Holder: Seasons Fall 2016
Oct 9, 2016
Oct 8, 2016
Never in my life
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 7, 2016
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend fan art
Oct 7, 2016
Oct 6, 2016
Get off my lawn!
Oct 6, 2016
Oct 5, 2016
I run through grocery stores often enough that strangers have begun to notice. This does not make me crazy, even though some might believe otherwise.
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 4, 2016
You see a leaf. I see something so much worse.
Oct 4, 2016
Oct 3, 2016
Disillusioned by the Presidential election this year? Vote for Clara.
Oct 3, 2016
Oct 2, 2016
It's true. I hate strangers because of what they love most.
Oct 2, 2016
Oct 1, 2016
Resolution update: September 2016
Oct 1, 2016
September 2016
Sep 30, 2016
Twenty-five years spent standing in a parking lot
Sep 30, 2016
Sep 29, 2016
Does the dog die? We need to know.
Sep 29, 2016
Sep 28, 2016
An important lesson for all public speakers, storytellers, and the poor souls who must conduct meetings
Sep 28, 2016
Sep 27, 2016
Four pieces of debate advice for Hillary Clinton. Someone please pass this post onto her people.
Sep 27, 2016
Sep 26, 2016
Verbal Sparring: If you don't like it, leave.
Sep 26, 2016
Sep 25, 2016
Unfair assumption: The more you have on your business card, the less I think about your professional ability
Sep 25, 2016
Sep 24, 2016
Complimenting an item of clothing is the lowest form of compliment
Sep 24, 2016
Sep 23, 2016
The first person to listen to my nonsense and predict that I would be a writer has passed away
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 22, 2016
Write the thing that only you can write
Sep 22, 2016
Sep 21, 2016
If you want to have a say in education, become an educator
Sep 21, 2016
Sep 20, 2016
Policing the national anthem makes you a self-righteous jerk
Sep 20, 2016
Sep 19, 2016
Styling advice from a fifth grader
Sep 19, 2016
Sep 18, 2016
Shouldn't yellow raincoats the only appropriately colored raincoats?
Sep 18, 2016
Sep 17, 2016
Water Street Bookstore appearance
Sep 17, 2016
Sep 16, 2016
A trip to the plumbing store, because that's where all kids want to go. Right?
Sep 16, 2016
Sep 15, 2016
Every time I tie my shoes...
Sep 15, 2016
Sep 14, 2016
The Most Poorly Named Character in All of Literature
Sep 14, 2016
Sep 13, 2016
Vincent Van Gogh on Doctor Who makes me cry.
Sep 13, 2016
Sep 12, 2016
At last I am a Beautiful Person. Verified and confirmed by beautifulpeople.com.
Sep 12, 2016
Sep 11, 2016
"Flesh" was a crayon color.
Sep 11, 2016
Sep 10, 2016
First day of preschool apparently went well
Sep 10, 2016
Sep 9, 2016
Unknown but brilliant
Sep 9, 2016
Sep 8, 2016
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2016
Sep 8, 2016
Sep 8, 2016
I broke into the Brooklyn Navy Yard and committed a crime (I think)
Sep 8, 2016
Sep 7, 2016
The bravest
Sep 7, 2016
Sep 6, 2016
Book Club Adventures on Planes and Trains and Automobiles (sort of)
Sep 6, 2016
Sep 5, 2016
I think my wife is hitting on me.
Sep 5, 2016
Sep 4, 2016
I know way too much about boll weevils
Sep 4, 2016
Sep 3, 2016
Preschool is destined to disappoint my son.
Sep 3, 2016
Sep 2, 2016
"Baked in a buttery, flaky crust"
Sep 2, 2016
Sep 1, 2016
Resolution update: August 2016
Sep 1, 2016
August 2016
Aug 31, 2016
A real life person signs my books as his fictional self, which sounds weird and is admittedly a little weird.
Aug 31, 2016
Aug 30, 2016
The most astounding editor's note I have ever seen
Aug 30, 2016
Aug 29, 2016
How Pokemon Go is a lot like Hee Haw, and how that should both relieve you and frighten you
Aug 29, 2016
Aug 28, 2016
Kiss the Girl: The creepy, stalker, possible sexual assault version
Aug 28, 2016
Aug 27, 2016
Damn Canadians are ruining my book.
Aug 27, 2016
Aug 26, 2016
Guess which sister I taught?
Aug 26, 2016
Aug 25, 2016
My daughter demands death.
Aug 25, 2016
Aug 24, 2016
Where the hell is black?
Aug 24, 2016
Aug 23, 2016
Mom and Dad had a reely big show last nite
Aug 23, 2016
Aug 22, 2016
Five year plans are about five years too long
Aug 22, 2016
Aug 21, 2016
The Moth: Two Little Jewish Dicks
Aug 21, 2016
Aug 20, 2016
At least 3 reasons why you should never say "Wish me luck!"
Aug 20, 2016
Aug 19, 2016
The Solar System. Obviously.
Aug 19, 2016
Aug 18, 2016
7 things that we all agree should exist but still don't. Unless you're four years old.
Aug 18, 2016
Aug 17, 2016
Country club dress codes treat adults like children, and yet adults continue to be members of country clubs. I don't get it.
Aug 17, 2016
Aug 16, 2016
The life changing difference between "do" and "don't"
Aug 16, 2016
Aug 15, 2016
If you ever wanted to be a receptionist, perhaps you should think again.
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 14, 2016
If you have strong feelings about cargo shorts, then you are probably an infantile jackass.
Aug 14, 2016
Aug 13, 2016
My son meditates. Seriously. How did this happen?
Aug 13, 2016
Aug 12, 2016
I was a muffin who believed in miracles.
Aug 12, 2016
Aug 11, 2016
The Universal Comeback (I think)
Aug 11, 2016
Aug 10, 2016
Seeking submissions for my annual list of shortcomings and flaws
Aug 10, 2016
Aug 9, 2016
I spent a week backing into parking spots to see if it made any sense. Here is what I discovered.
Aug 9, 2016
Aug 8, 2016
The Peter Principle: Understand it.
Aug 8, 2016
Aug 7, 2016
My children don't understand the purpose or use of a sofa
Aug 7, 2016
Aug 6, 2016
The Moth: A Mop Sink and Maybe God
Aug 6, 2016
Aug 5, 2016
How the Republican Party went from Lincoln to Trump
Aug 5, 2016
Aug 4, 2016
I think my daughter is becoming cool.
Aug 4, 2016
Aug 3, 2016
Unfair assumption: Leaders who park in their privileged parking spots don't get it
Aug 3, 2016
Aug 2, 2016
How to Make a Tennis Ball (also it's impossible to make a tennis ball)
Aug 2, 2016
Aug 1, 2016
Resolution Update: July 2016
Aug 1, 2016
July 2016
Jul 31, 2016
The Internet is kind and crazy and kind of crazy
Jul 31, 2016
Jul 30, 2016
My son is ready for his next 15 minutes of fame
Jul 30, 2016
Jul 29, 2016
The Moth: She Held My Hand
Jul 29, 2016
Jul 28, 2016
Bill O'Reilly reminds us that the slaves who built the White House were "well fed and had decent lodgings," because why?
Jul 28, 2016
Jul 27, 2016
Writing advice from a toddler that authors should heed carefully
Jul 27, 2016
Jul 26, 2016
11 Absolutely Essential Rules for Restaurateur and Waitstaff in Child-Friendly Restaurants
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 25, 2016
This simple bit of grocery store advice will spare you a lifetime of regret. Give you back hours in your week. Bring sanity back to your everyday life.
Jul 25, 2016
Jul 24, 2016
A Series of Special Guests #9
Jul 24, 2016
Jul 23, 2016
Passion Lubes makes for outstanding reading. Don't deny yourself this joy.
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 22, 2016
I don't label people as homophobic
Jul 22, 2016
Jul 21, 2016
A decidedly less white bubble on the other side of the aisle
Jul 21, 2016
Jul 20, 2016
Donald Trump. I told you so.
Jul 20, 2016
Jul 19, 2016
Paul Ryan is a boy in a white bubble
Jul 19, 2016
Jul 18, 2016
The Ground Round still exists. Apparently for the hipster cocktail crowd.
Jul 18, 2016
Jul 17, 2016
Unfair assumption #25: People offended by factual corrections are brittle and lame
Jul 17, 2016
Jul 16, 2016
Too Big an Ask
Jul 16, 2016
Jul 15, 2016
July 15, 2006
Jul 15, 2016
Jul 14, 2016
The UK has a new Prime Minister. Unfortunately, it still has a stupid Queen.
Jul 14, 2016
Jul 13, 2016
Five years ago, I took the stage and told my first story. The most important thing about that night: I was afraid.
Jul 13, 2016
Jul 12, 2016
7 much-needed rules for golf according to me (which makes them absolutely correct)
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 11, 2016
24 life lessons for my children (and perhaps for you)
Jul 11, 2016
Jul 10, 2016
Advice from a mentor from 21 years ago that I continues to guide my life today
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 9, 2016
Unfair assumption #24: Your knowledge of the Supreme Court says a lot about you.
Jul 9, 2016
Jul 8, 2016
Children sleeping in their parent's room: I had strong opinions before I had kids. The results are now in.
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 7, 2016
My kind of princess
Jul 7, 2016
Jul 6, 2016
Perhaps a near-death experience is a good thing. At least one therapist seems to think so.
Jul 6, 2016
Jul 5, 2016
Don't name your child Brenden. I mean Brandon.
Jul 5, 2016
Jul 4, 2016
Unfair assumption #23: People who water their lawns themselves are aggressively anti-efficient and supremely uninteresting
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 3, 2016
The Portland 54: Embrace uncertainty
Jul 3, 2016
Jul 2, 2016
This sign is decidedly less specific than it needs to be
Jul 2, 2016
Jul 1, 2016
Resolution Update: June 2016 plus midyear assessment
Jul 1, 2016
June 2016
Jun 30, 2016
Simple. Hilarious. Makes stupid people look stupid. Everything I want in a two minute video.
Jun 30, 2016
Jun 29, 2016
This is the most inaccurate description of marriage I have ever read. I hope it does not describe your marriage.
Jun 29, 2016
Jun 28, 2016
That ice cream shop that you think is "amazing" or the best? It's not.
Jun 28, 2016
Jun 27, 2016
Unfair assumption #22: People who come from privilege who criticize those who don't come from privilege for their economic circumstances are stupid douchebags
Jun 27, 2016
Jun 26, 2016
Something to make you smile
Jun 26, 2016
Jun 25, 2016
The cough - not the sneeze - deserves the blessing.
Jun 25, 2016
Jun 24, 2016
Paul Ryan (and the Democrats) need my help. I am waiting for their call.
Jun 24, 2016
Jun 23, 2016
Four interesting facts about the song "Laid" that should not only be interesting to me (but probably are).
Jun 23, 2016
Jun 21, 2016
My daughter outlines her position on the accumulation and distribution of capital in a market economy
Jun 21, 2016
Jun 20, 2016
Four things about my children's childhood that I won't miss
Jun 20, 2016
Jun 19, 2016
Best graduation cap ever
Jun 19, 2016
Jun 18, 2016
So much beauty in just two minutes of video. You must see.
Jun 18, 2016
Jun 17, 2016
"Third verse same as the first" is stupid and annoying
Jun 17, 2016
Jun 16, 2016
The world's first decent veggie burger. Not really because it's still a veggie burger, but better.
Jun 16, 2016
Jun 15, 2016
My son has become a non-stop death machine.
Jun 15, 2016
Jun 14, 2016
Staging your home for sale is stupid and self-destructive. Kind of like lipstick. We must end the insanity.
Jun 14, 2016
Jun 13, 2016
The likelihood that your gossip and behind-the-back cruelty will be exposed, expressed in percentages
Jun 13, 2016
Jun 12, 2016
A threat of violence, some moments of real sweetness, and a serious fear of hoes.
Jun 12, 2016
Jun 11, 2016
Sometimes I think I'm living in a movie
Jun 11, 2016
Jun 10, 2016
13 Rules for an Effective (and Perhaps Even Inspiring) Commencement Address
Jun 10, 2016
Jun 9, 2016
Be calm.
Jun 9, 2016
Jun 8, 2016
Review of Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend (and my name change)
Jun 8, 2016
Jun 7, 2016
Go to The Moth and tell a story. And not "someday." Go soon.
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 6, 2016
I have discovered what women look for in a man
Jun 6, 2016
Jun 5, 2016
She would not be happy on a skateboard, but these kids are.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 4, 2016
Perilous Pizza: The Cook's Cook June/July 2016 edition
Jun 4, 2016
Jun 3, 2016
Dance Recitals: The Joy and the Horror
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016
"Just about everybody" I know is not flying on a plane this summer, and to assume otherwise might be an indication of the bubble you live inside.
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 2, 2016
Telling tales: A profile
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016
Teachers must stop assigning problems to students in math class, but apparently they need to stop assigning equations, too.
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 1, 2016
Resolution update: May 2016
Jun 1, 2016
May 2016
May 31, 2016
My first comic books. Too bad I can't show my kids. Or my students. Or anyone squeamish.
May 31, 2016
May 30, 2016
One of the most remarkable pieces of writing in New York Times history - for reasons that will surprise you
May 30, 2016
May 29, 2016
Bill Gates: 5 Books to Read This Summer
May 29, 2016
May 28, 2016
Three shows that every married couple should be watching - and why this is dumb advice
May 28, 2016
May 27, 2016
#Biblebuffet
May 27, 2016
May 26, 2016
I hate meetings this much.
May 26, 2016
May 25, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 28 - Going gray, the reading habits of men, and infertility
May 25, 2016
May 25, 2016
In need of a little quiet
May 25, 2016
May 24, 2016
Teachers: Stop assigning word problems. It's a problem.
May 24, 2016
May 23, 2016
In favor of simplicty
May 23, 2016
May 22, 2016
If I could travel to the past, 13 things I would do differently (without risking my current existence)
May 22, 2016
May 21, 2016
How I don't write
May 21, 2016
May 20, 2016
TEDxTheCountrySchool: Speak Less. Expect More.
May 20, 2016
May 19, 2016
Cold, hard truth from a middle school boy that explains why many people want to succeed but few do.
May 19, 2016
May 18, 2016
Gender reveals: Another example of "Not every thing needs to be a thing"
May 18, 2016
May 17, 2016
What is the longterm impact of not having the support of parents after high school?
May 17, 2016
May 16, 2016
Stop it, teachers: 3 things educators must stop doing now.
May 16, 2016
May 15, 2016
Questions asked so far this morning by my children (ages 7 and 3):
May 15, 2016
May 14, 2016
These people don't know Jesus, and Jesus doesn't give a damn about toilets
May 14, 2016
May 13, 2016
Reach out to a teacher. We want to hear from you.
May 13, 2016
May 12, 2016
My former students discover that their teacher is still alive (and maybe doing cool things) thanks to The Moth
May 12, 2016
May 11, 2016
This update to "Ironic" is a beautiful thing
May 11, 2016
May 10, 2016
This hoodie is real. You won't think so, but I promise you. This is a real thing.
May 10, 2016
May 9, 2016
Serious question: Why isn't religious hypocrisy used more often against the opponents to same sex marriage?
May 9, 2016
May 8, 2016
After almost getting my wife nothing on Mother's Day, it turns out that I gave her a lot. The list is extraordinary.
May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016
Where have all the rebels gone?
May 8, 2016
May 7, 2016
Sometimes I think I live in "Leave It To Beaver"
May 7, 2016
May 6, 2016
Harlem Knight Fight
May 6, 2016
May 5, 2016
Kids are great, but they ruin everything. Especially your peace of mind about the future of the planet.
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend is a Nutmeg nominee!
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 26 - Boy vs. Wife and Girl vs. Husband
May 5, 2016
May 4, 2016
The worst person in the world
May 4, 2016
May 3, 2016
The reverse nap. The Trump nomination. Female eligibility in the military draft. People thought I was crazy all three times. Now I get to say those four glorious words.
May 3, 2016
May 2, 2016
When kids rule the world, it will be a fantastic place. But perhaps not always professional.
May 2, 2016
May 1, 2016
Resolution update: April 2016
May 1, 2016
April 2016
Apr 30, 2016
Owen: 2000-2016
Apr 30, 2016
Apr 29, 2016
A broken lawnmower, a fifth grade boy, and CragsList.com make me wonder if God is real.
Apr 29, 2016
Apr 28, 2016
A question I don't want my wife to be asked
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 27, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 25 - Income in Dating, Mansplaining, and Tallywackers
Apr 27, 2016
Apr 27, 2016
Firemen became firefighters. Penmanship became handwriting. Great. But there's one gender neutral word I can't support.
Apr 27, 2016
Apr 26, 2016
#Biblebuffet
Apr 26, 2016
Apr 25, 2016
Every thing doesn't need to be a thing
Apr 25, 2016
Apr 24, 2016
From the mouths of babes...
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 23, 2016
Opposing Donald Trump while defending one or more of his positions is not doubly odd. It's called objectivity.
Apr 23, 2016
Apr 22, 2016
Mike Pesca's favorite sentences of 2015 (and mine)
Apr 22, 2016
Apr 21, 2016
A fashion designer who doesn't know she's a fashion designer
Apr 21, 2016
Apr 20, 2016
"Close to the chest" or "close to the vest?" The answer annoys the hell out of me.
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016
Seasons: Spring 2106
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 19, 2016
I've never done this medically inadvisable thing that you probably do often
Apr 19, 2016
Apr 18, 2016
Boy in blanket fort offers lesson on happiness
Apr 18, 2016
Apr 17, 2016
An important (and painful) lesson about the people closest to me and the things I write
Apr 17, 2016
Apr 16, 2016
An important corollary on the two greatest super powers of all time
Apr 16, 2016
Apr 15, 2016
When I watch children's television, I ask questions about fictional funding (or the lack thereof)
Apr 15, 2016
Apr 14, 2016
A not-so-disappointing disappointing night at The Moth
Apr 14, 2016
Apr 13, 2016
My wife doesn't jump into the shower with me on a regular basis, but this thing about her parents is a close second.
Apr 13, 2016
Apr 12, 2016
Why I think professional wrestling is stupid
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 11, 2016
The two best super powers of all time (one of them is not teleportation)
Apr 11, 2016
Apr 10, 2016
Clara on Picasso
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 8, 2016
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs: The paperback cover
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 7, 2016
My son, the storyteller. I had no idea.
Apr 7, 2016
Apr 6, 2016
Possibly the perfect outgoing voicemail message
Apr 6, 2016
Apr 5, 2016
#Biblebuffet
Apr 5, 2016
Apr 4, 2016
internet at last
Apr 4, 2016
Apr 3, 2016
#Biblebuffet
Apr 3, 2016
Apr 2, 2016
TEDxNatick: Love Life Like You Are 100 Years Old
Apr 2, 2016
Apr 1, 2016
Resolution update: March 2016
Apr 1, 2016
March 2016
Mar 31, 2016
The secret to great storytelling: Make the big moments incredibly small. Or find your tiny moments and tell just them.
Mar 31, 2016
Mar 30, 2016
Roman creativity when it came to punishing those who murdered their fathers astounds me.
Mar 30, 2016
Mar 29, 2016
If you're using The Bible to support your opposition to same sex marriage and transgender restroom choice, you're simply obsessed with penises and vaginas.
Mar 29, 2016
Mar 25, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 20A and 20B - Twenty Questions
Mar 25, 2016
Mar 25, 2016
My children are stars in an Instagram ad. Apparently the entire world has seen it.
Mar 25, 2016
Mar 24, 2016
The Moth brought me and my elementary school principal back together
Mar 24, 2016
Mar 23, 2016
The best worst magic show ever
Mar 23, 2016
Mar 22, 2016
Four rules about being precious about your stuff
Mar 22, 2016
Mar 21, 2016
Caught in the Middle: A musical filled with stolen words, purloined ideas, and personal philosophy
Mar 21, 2016
Mar 20, 2016
You have to admire a true artisan
Mar 20, 2016
Mar 19, 2016
Text and photo combo of the week
Mar 19, 2016
Mar 18, 2016
A very special chair and a recommendation to librarians everywhere
Mar 18, 2016
Mar 17, 2016
I found someone who thinks EXACTLY like I do. Almost as if I put the words right into her heart and mind.
Mar 17, 2016
Mar 16, 2016
A peek into a typical day of our marriage
Mar 16, 2016
Mar 15, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 18 - Pants, Lands End, and military service
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 19 - Wedding proposals, politics, and frats
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016
Clara's best bad behavior
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 14, 2016
The worst name for a food item in all of human history
Mar 14, 2016
Mar 13, 2016
27 Things I Wish I Had Known 10 Years Earlier
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 12, 2016
A famous writer and I agree on the worst part of sleep
Mar 12, 2016
Mar 11, 2016
She wrote "No." My heart soared.
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 9, 2016
Deep, scary, philosophical Star Trek thoughts.
Mar 9, 2016
Mar 8, 2016
Few things are as bad as we want people to think. I think.
Mar 8, 2016
Mar 7, 2016
There was a lot wrong with the 1970's, but these two things might have made up for it.
Mar 7, 2016
Mar 7, 2016
My son has cleverly ensured future access to my phone
Mar 7, 2016
Mar 6, 2016
A simple geographic reminder to those overly insistent, overly-aggressive people of faith
Mar 6, 2016
Mar 5, 2016
Listen to this.
Mar 5, 2016
Mar 4, 2016
Charlie's all-too familiar existentialist dilemma
Mar 4, 2016
Mar 3, 2016
FYI: "Drives me up the wall" is an idiom.
Mar 3, 2016
Mar 3, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 17 - Sexy voice, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model, and Cuddling
Mar 3, 2016
Mar 2, 2016
This made me a little weepy. I'm obviously broken inside.
Mar 2, 2016
Mar 1, 2016
Resolution update: February 2016
Mar 1, 2016
February 2016
Feb 29, 2016
People I don't understand: Motionless telephone talkers
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 28, 2016
Star Wars will have gay characters. Bigoted heads presumably explode like Alderaan.
Feb 28, 2016
Feb 27, 2016
Caught in the Middle: Our world premier!
Feb 27, 2016
Feb 26, 2016
A rule for lifelong happiness: Stop begrudging the good fortune of others.
Feb 26, 2016
Feb 25, 2016
#TBT - My first! Also, I finally understand what the hashtag means.
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 24, 2016
Hidden gems on my daughter's bookshelf and in my teaching career
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 23, 2016
The Moth: A Strip Club of my Own Making
Feb 23, 2016
Feb 22, 2016
Not quite immortality, but 95 is a decent start.
Feb 22, 2016
Feb 21, 2016
This history lesson is unlike anything I've ever seen before. YOU MUST WATCH.
Feb 21, 2016
Feb 20, 2016
Don't speak to old people like they're children or houseplants, damn it.
Feb 20, 2016
Feb 19, 2016
My son is starting to like Star Wars. Also, he calls it Star Whores, which led me to Ken and his dad.
Feb 19, 2016
Feb 18, 2016
How I became a storyteller (and many other things)
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 17, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 15 - Boy bands, men's grooming, and size matters
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 17, 2016
Thank you notes: Should you send an email or write a note?
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 16, 2016
Let languages die.
Feb 16, 2016
Feb 15, 2016
Little Boy Wants to Read. Badly.
Feb 15, 2016
Feb 14, 2016
This is exactly what you need to accomplish your goals. Nothing more.
Feb 14, 2016
Feb 13, 2016
High ranking United States generals finally agree with me on the military draft - 21 years later
Feb 13, 2016
Feb 12, 2016
Question: Which person alive today deserves immortality for the sake of future generations?
Feb 12, 2016
Feb 11, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 14 - Girl Scout Cookies, Valentine's Day, and Schlongs
Feb 11, 2016
Feb 10, 2016
Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, Starship and one unbelievably bizarre video.
Feb 10, 2016
Feb 9, 2016
The two birthday gifts you should be asking for above all others
Feb 9, 2016
Feb 8, 2016
I was bullied by a bunch of middle-aged pencil pushers. And it hurt.
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016
Impressive vocabulary and outstanding musical taste
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 7, 2016
Two Divorces Too Many: Oldie but goodie pops up in an unexpected place
Feb 7, 2016
Feb 6, 2016
Two Divorces Too Many
Feb 6, 2016
Feb 6, 2016
Large, lumbering, white men playing basketball. Probably poorly.
Feb 6, 2016
Feb 5, 2016
Embrace the snow day. The future is unknown. And possibly deadly.
Feb 5, 2016
Feb 4, 2016
A simple and perfect solution to the "10 items or less" offenders
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 3, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 13 - Disney Princesses, Modern Day Uniforms & Tighty Whities
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016
Enough power?
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 2, 2016
"An urban community" is a far cry from eating paste
Feb 2, 2016
Feb 1, 2016
Resolution update: January 2016
Feb 1, 2016
January 2016
Jan 31, 2016
My children take selfies now, and I'm glad.
Jan 31, 2016
Jan 30, 2016
Richard Marx is trapped in my head, and I didn't even know it.
Jan 30, 2016
Jan 29, 2016
The Name Game
Jan 29, 2016
Jan 28, 2016
Three Things I Eat Oddly
Jan 28, 2016
Jan 27, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 12 - The Rachel-less Episode
Jan 27, 2016
Jan 27, 2016
A Giants fan enacts a random and nonsensical act of football hatred upon a Patriots fan
Jan 27, 2016
Jan 26, 2016
Heart beeps
Jan 26, 2016
Jan 25, 2016
Clara Susan: January 26, 2009
Jan 25, 2016
Jan 25, 2016
Professional Best Man (and the amazing things that have happened since I first proposed this job)
Jan 25, 2016
Jan 24, 2016
Whitesboro: You will not believe that this situation exists.
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 23, 2016
Football hurts me. Serious injuries. Still, who wants to play tackle football with me?
Jan 23, 2016
Jan 22, 2016
Wonder Woman's invisible jet is stupid.
Jan 22, 2016
Jan 21, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 11 - New Year's Resolutions, Driving, and I WAS GROPED ON THE POLAR EXPRESS!
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 21, 2016
Losing can be so entertaining when it's not you.
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 20, 2016
A washing machine, a trampoline, a brick, and a little bit of joy
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 19, 2016
What is sexy? (according to Jerry Seinfeld and me)
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 18, 2016
Butchers and doctors should not look alike.
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 17, 2016
The "I told you so" calendar. Armed and ready for 2035. I can't recommend it highly enough.
Jan 17, 2016
Jan 16, 2016
BCE and CE
Jan 16, 2016
Jan 15, 2016
Finalized New Year's resolutions for 2016 (including three new goals)
Jan 15, 2016
Jan 14, 2016
Rugged good looks. Beautiful wives. No java.
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 13, 2016
Cruelest joke of 2015 involved a beautiful new baby and Bill Cosby
Jan 13, 2016
Jan 12, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 10 - Three Mystery Topics
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 12, 2016
Fruit Loop freak
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 12, 2016
The strangest thing about the octopus.
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 11, 2016
8 things I have never done that you probably have (now with the much-requested rationales behind each)
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 10, 2016
Six things you have probably done that I have not. Intentionally.
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 9, 2016
It's better to love because it makes you better than other people, which is extremely satisfying.
Jan 9, 2016
Jan 8, 2016
Jim and Pam are still together. There is hope.
Jan 8, 2016
Jan 7, 2016
The many faces of a little reader
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 6, 2016
If you're going to disagree with the President, try not to be illogical while doing so.
Jan 6, 2016
Jan 5, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 9 - The girl tax, chicks and dudes, and a lady's legs
Jan 5, 2016
Jan 5, 2016
I celebrated my Christmas in the company of strangers
Jan 5, 2016
Jan 4, 2016
Haiku
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 3, 2016
My daughter needs to learn about Marc Antony. And I'm not talking about the singer.
Jan 3, 2016
Jan 2, 2016
My 13 New Year's resolutions for the NFL
Jan 2, 2016
Jan 1, 2016
New Year's resolutions: 2016
Jan 1, 2016
December 2015
Dec 31, 2015
Resolution update: 2015 in review
Dec 31, 2015
Dec 30, 2015
A goal for 2016: An agreement that these parents are awful, disgusting, rotten people
Dec 30, 2015
Dec 29, 2015
The big sleep is killing me.
Dec 29, 2015
Dec 28, 2015
My daughter was annoyed with Mrs. Claus - and let her have it.
Dec 28, 2015
Dec 27, 2015
The Moth: Death by Bee Sting
Dec 27, 2015
Dec 26, 2015
My 2015 Christmas haul
Dec 26, 2015
Dec 26, 2015
Awful Jeb Bush asks supporters for $25 in exchange for leaving them the hell alone. Seriously.
Dec 26, 2015
Dec 25, 2015
How to be uninteresting with fruits and vegetables
Dec 25, 2015
Dec 24, 2015
Jigsaw puzzles are a terrible, rotten, no good, very bad gift.
Dec 24, 2015
Dec 24, 2015
I have a story on The Moth Radio Hour and podcast this week!
Dec 24, 2015
Dec 23, 2015
An essential quote for parents and teachers who are struggling with discipline
Dec 23, 2015
Dec 23, 2015
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 7: Babysitters, chivalry and taking out the trash
Dec 23, 2015
Dec 22, 2015
A possible cure for writer's block
Dec 22, 2015
Dec 21, 2015
I've switched from PC to Mac. I have six complaints.
Dec 21, 2015
Dec 20, 2015
Tableside preparation of guacamole is stupid. For many reasons.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 19, 2015
Connor the Unicorn is missing. It's freakin' annoying.
Dec 19, 2015
Dec 18, 2015
Goals for 2016: Tell me what to do.
Dec 18, 2015
Dec 17, 2015
Target Practice - Seasons: Winter 2015
Dec 17, 2015
Dec 17, 2015
A whiskey ad, made by two amateur filmmakers, did this to me.
Dec 17, 2015
Dec 16, 2015
This man could have been ripped from one of my novels
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 15, 2015
Afraid of identity theft? Here's a simple solution: Lie
Dec 15, 2015
Dec 14, 2015
TEDx Berkshires: Homework for Life
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 13, 2015
TEDxNatick: "Live Life Like Your 100 Year-Old Self"
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 12, 2015
Rose City Park Church: The sign is real, and the message is fantastic, despite my suggestions for revision.
Dec 12, 2015
Dec 11, 2015
3 verbal tics that you must stop
Dec 11, 2015
Dec 10, 2015
For the friend who has everything, the perfect holiday gift...
Dec 10, 2015
Dec 9, 2015
The oddities of becoming a somewhat (but not famous) public figure
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015
Boy Vs. Girl - Episode #5: The Military Draft, Man Vs. Wild, and Grudges
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 8, 2015
Hire this guy. And please don't do anything like this to my Wikipedia page.
Dec 8, 2015
Dec 7, 2015
The Patriots lost yesterday. I'm a happy Patriots fan today. You should be, too.
Dec 7, 2015
Dec 6, 2015
The Book With No Pictures: Best testimonial for the book ever
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 5, 2015
Change can happen. Change does happen. You probably don't believe this. So let me show you this bicycle.
Dec 5, 2015
Dec 4, 2015
My latest appearance on Mom and Dad Are Fighting: Discussing violent tragedy with children
Dec 4, 2015
Dec 4, 2015
Perspective
Dec 4, 2015
Dec 3, 2015
A simple test to determine if a food is objectively tasty
Dec 3, 2015
Dec 2, 2015
Boy Vs. Girl: Episode 4: Barbie, Heels, and Penis Doodles
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015
The Moth: The Great Stargazing Betrayal
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 1, 2015
Resolution Update: November 2015
Dec 1, 2015
November 2015
Nov 30, 2015
Naked booby traps: It's apparently a thing. Sadly, my wife is not involved.
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 29, 2015
Four pieces of perfect truth on the nature of writing and work by Dan Kennedy
Nov 29, 2015
Nov 28, 2015
The very best way to earn a dollar
Nov 28, 2015
Nov 27, 2015
The secret to being brave - revealed by a six year-old girl
Nov 27, 2015
Nov 26, 2015
Today I give thanks for something intangible and improbable and incredibly powerful
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 25, 2015
My visit to Northshire Bookstore: Cakes designed to look like books and a mysterious comment left unexplained
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 24, 2015
A theory on the funniness of people who routinely interrupt others
Nov 24, 2015
Nov 23, 2015
Some days are just a "pants on your head" kind of day
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 22, 2015
How I Let Down My Forever Friend
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015
An excellent explanation of Syria's war
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 21, 2015
Millennials are living at home in greater numbers than ever before. Are they just overly indulged wimps?
Nov 21, 2015
Nov 20, 2015
Stop saying that women are beautiful.
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 19, 2015
I have seen the devil, and he looks something like this.
Nov 19, 2015
Nov 18, 2015
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 3 - Gender-Neutral Bathrooms, Salutations, and Bathing Suit Bottoms
Nov 18, 2015
Nov 17, 2015
Two death bed mysteries and one piece of death bed advice
Nov 17, 2015
Nov 16, 2015
7 more ways that saboteurs attempt to destroy workplace productivity
Nov 16, 2015
Nov 15, 2015
Underoos: Possibly inappropriate. Mildly exploitative. Creepy, even?
Nov 15, 2015
Nov 14, 2015
My "Diet Coke and aggressive attitude" didn't exactly match the yoga aesthetic, but I somehow managed to fit in anyway.
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 13, 2015
If only we all had this problem...
Nov 13, 2015
Nov 12, 2015
100 Most Evil People Ever Experiment
Nov 12, 2015
Nov 11, 2015
The truth will set you free
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 2 - Insult Culture, Female Sports Fans, and the Need for Snuggies
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 10, 2015
Would it be wrong for me to encourage my students to memorize this?
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 9, 2015
There are saboteurs in your organization, purposefully damaging productivity and morale. Here are 16 ways to spot them.
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 8, 2015
It is strange that I love both of these things equally?
Nov 8, 2015
Nov 7, 2015
A simple, secret strategy to handling rude people and achieving victory
Nov 7, 2015
Nov 6, 2015
Charlie reads "I Want My Hat Back." And you will melt.
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 5, 2015
The thing my daughter does for which I am most proud
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 4, 2015
Boy Vs. Girl: Episode 1 of our new podcast launches today!
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 3, 2015
The most difficult (and possibly inappropriate) question asked on book tour thus far
Nov 3, 2015
Nov 2, 2015
A lesson on the importance of stakes in storytelling - Plus the story of the day I posed as a charity worker for nefarious reasons
Nov 2, 2015
Nov 1, 2015
Resolution Update: October 2015
Nov 1, 2015
October 2015
Oct 31, 2015
My daughter's editorial proclivities bring me such joy for one special reason.
Oct 31, 2015
Oct 30, 2015
This might be the worst deal in baseball history. Or at least the most ridiculous.
Oct 30, 2015
Oct 29, 2015
Hindsight is rarely 20/20, so stop saying otherwise.
Oct 29, 2015
Oct 28, 2015
We encourage children to seek truth and knowledge in this world except when it comes to this.
Oct 28, 2015
Oct 27, 2015
Look what you can do with a full head of hair.
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 26, 2015
Verbal sparring: "A bad day" is not an excuse to behave badly.
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 25, 2015
3 petty bits of nonsense that should never bother you (unless you are equally petty)
Oct 25, 2015
Oct 24, 2015
Music is not the most important part of my job as a wedding DJ.
Oct 24, 2015
Oct 23, 2015
My daughter betrayed me. I'll say it doesn't hurt, but truthfully, it hurts a lot.
Oct 23, 2015
Oct 23, 2015
Is this real?
Oct 23, 2015
Oct 22, 2015
Little girl makes little boy's dream come true.
Oct 22, 2015
Oct 21, 2015
The Moth: Sex and Frozen Corn
Oct 21, 2015
Oct 20, 2015
Management: Please stop signing your signs. It looks ridiculous and serves no useful purpose.
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 19, 2015
13 Principles of Teaching
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 18, 2015
A man who is proving that nothing is as complicated as people think or want it to be.
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 17, 2015
5 new rules of etiquette in the digital world
Oct 17, 2015
Oct 16, 2015
How to graduate with an Associate's, Bachelor's and Master's degrees without ever taking the SAT or completing a college application (or paying tuition!)
Oct 16, 2015
Oct 15, 2015
First they dance. Then they attack. Kind of viciously.
Oct 15, 2015
Oct 14, 2015
The worst thing about parenting just got a whole lot better.
Oct 14, 2015
Oct 13, 2015
An observation about the movie Stormpiercer that will blow your mind. Maybe.
Oct 13, 2015
Oct 12, 2015
Celebrating Columbus Day is one of the stupidest things that Americans do. Let's replace it with this amazing Russian holiday.
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 11, 2015
My daughter has become a same-sex marriage activist and a storytelling promoter
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 10, 2015
The conspiracy of the uninvited, unannounced pickle must end.
Oct 10, 2015
Oct 9, 2015
I'm doing my first full hour onstage for the Pound Ridge Storytelling Festival on Saturday night. And I'm a little nervous, which almost never happens. Here's why:
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 9, 2015
My daughter's amazing list of proposed weekend activities
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 8, 2015
Announcing your goals makes it less likely that you will achieve them, but what if you're not an idiot?
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015
Hot Buzz for Books 2015
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 7, 2015
This is a contract from hell. Or heaven, depending on your current disposition and predilections.
Oct 7, 2015
Oct 6, 2015
Sometimes a student writes a sentence that I wish I had written. This is one of them.
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 5, 2015
I hit the greatest golf shot of my life. Then a squirrel did something even more amazing.
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 4, 2015
The Gist: My Orange Thong and Lucky Star story
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 3, 2015
I thought I became a teacher because I love kids, but it turns out that the real reason was far more selfish and insidious
Oct 3, 2015
Oct 2, 2015
Resolution update: September 2015
Oct 2, 2015
September 2015
Sep 30, 2015
Unfair assumption #21: John Smith is not a good name
Sep 30, 2015
Sep 29, 2015
Rumspringa: If only every parent possessed the open mindedness of the bad ass Amish
Sep 29, 2015
Sep 28, 2015
My unconventional advice for the expecting parent (or the less experienced parent)
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 27, 2015
Owl hunters interrupt fiction writer's flow
Sep 27, 2015
Sep 26, 2015
My six-year old daughter understands the nature of religious texts better than many Republican candidates
Sep 26, 2015
Sep 25, 2015
A character from The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs comes alive. Seriously.
Sep 25, 2015
Sep 24, 2015
Pulling loose teeth just got more profitable. And strange.
Sep 24, 2015
Sep 23, 2015
God doesn't want you to dress up in order to worship him. In fact, he would prefer that you dress down.
Sep 23, 2015
Sep 22, 2015
My daughter's first homework assignment: First steps on a rotten road
Sep 22, 2015
Sep 22, 2015
I want more politicians like this.
Sep 22, 2015
Sep 21, 2015
Recommended Reading
Sep 21, 2015
Sep 20, 2015
Brilliant use of chalk
Sep 20, 2015
Sep 19, 2015
This video encompasses so many of my fears for my students
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 18, 2015
My book launch party was filled with many surprise guests and references to Dungeons & Dragons
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015
Unfair assumption #20: The use of absolutes in combination with the personal pronoun is an intelligence and personality indicator.
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 16, 2015
Productivity tip: Back up your phone, damn it.
Sep 16, 2015
Sep 15, 2015
There are three incredibly stupid things wrong with this sign. Can you spot them all?
Sep 15, 2015
Sep 14, 2015
Smart, book person and crazed football fan does not always compute.
Sep 14, 2015
Sep 13, 2015
Verbal Sparring: Flip and Own
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 12, 2015
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend: Fan art
Sep 12, 2015
Sep 11, 2015
Can't fight logic like this.
Sep 11, 2015
Sep 10, 2015
They may be teenage boys, but they are also a couple of pathetic cowards.
Sep 10, 2015
Sep 9, 2015
Publicity for The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 8, 2015
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs: Pub day has finally arrived!
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 7, 2015
Mashable on The Moth
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 6, 2015
The worst thing you can say to a storyteller (you passive-aggressive douchebag)
Sep 6, 2015
Sep 5, 2015
I blame my wife.
Sep 5, 2015
Sep 4, 2015
How to Age Gracefully
Sep 4, 2015
Sep 3, 2015
Audio excerpt of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Sep 3, 2015
Sep 3, 2015
Booklist, Kirkus, and Library Journal review The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Sep 3, 2015
Sep 2, 2015
My book launch party: Who's coming?
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 1, 2015
I am not talented. I am only tenacious.
Sep 1, 2015
August 2015
Aug 31, 2015
Resolution update: August 2015
Aug 31, 2015
Aug 30, 2015
My son says the funniest things. In retrospect.
Aug 30, 2015
Aug 29, 2015
We The Stupid
Aug 29, 2015
Aug 29, 2015
Creativity fail
Aug 29, 2015
Aug 28, 2015
Mom and Dad Are Fighting: The Back to School Edition
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015
Three siblings. All hit by cars. It's weird. Right?
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 27, 2015
How to make a reader in one easy, high effective step
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 26, 2015
The hardest part about my visit to Brazil
Aug 26, 2015
Aug 25, 2015
A possibly faceitious question about his penis
Aug 25, 2015
Aug 24, 2015
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2015
Aug 24, 2015
Aug 23, 2015
Dirt Mountain
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 22, 2015
When in Brazil, go see Judy.
Aug 22, 2015
Aug 21, 2015
Observations from a week in Brazil
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 20, 2015
"Hate is a strong word." It's also not so strong a word. So let's stop saying otherwise.
Aug 20, 2015
Aug 19, 2015
Reading & Writing podcast interview
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 18, 2015
Five of my more anomalous wedding anomalies (i.e. strangest clients ever)
Aug 18, 2015
Aug 18, 2015
Slate's The Gist appearance: Where to Find the Best Stories
Aug 18, 2015
Aug 17, 2015
Lip-syncing made hilarious
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015
A hidden penis is always a problem
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 16, 2015
My former students occupy such important spaces in my life
Aug 16, 2015
Aug 15, 2015
Brazilian exit signs are unnerving
Aug 15, 2015
Aug 14, 2015
When you're transmitting information to an audience, be entertaining. Even if it's simply a sign.
Aug 14, 2015
Aug 13, 2015
The plague of the mason jar: Let us pray that it has reached its peak.
Aug 13, 2015
Aug 12, 2015
How the brain got its name
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 11, 2015
When it comes to Brazil, I am basically an infant.
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015
Best worst best interview ever
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 10, 2015
Don't don't judge me.
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 9, 2015
A terrible break in routine
Aug 9, 2015
Aug 8, 2015
Whale watch was both perfect and perfectly disgusting.
Aug 8, 2015
Aug 7, 2015
Can someone please explain these bumper stickers to me?
Aug 7, 2015
Aug 6, 2015
Our babysitter is making me look like a bad parent
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015
Worst TEDx luck ever
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 5, 2015
Productivity tip: 14 Reasons Why People Cannot or Will Not Delegate Responsibilities
Aug 5, 2015
Aug 4, 2015
The three most confident words in the English language
Aug 4, 2015
Aug 3, 2015
Single use restrooms in all public venues must be made unisex because not doing so is stupid.
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 2, 2015
ESPN's Jason Whitlock asked a bunch of stupid questions about Robert Kraft, so I answered them. It's a good strategy when faced with dumb, rhetorical questions.
Aug 2, 2015
Aug 1, 2015
Resolution update: July 2015
Aug 1, 2015
July 2015
Jul 31, 2015
One of the most horrifying and disgusting things that has ever happened to me couldn't spoil my day
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 30, 2015
Sequel protection service: Alias
Jul 30, 2015
Jul 29, 2015
How to annoy a child
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 28, 2015
Even I was silenced by this horrific scene of sexism and misplaced cold drink cups
Jul 28, 2015
Jul 27, 2015
“If you’re going to have a difficult life, it might as well be childhood, since it’s so short” might be the dumbest thing ever said.
Jul 27, 2015
Jul 26, 2015
My daughter manages money better than most Americans. And unlike me, her savings weren't eaten by a dog named after a video game.
Jul 26, 2015
Jul 25, 2015
I hate this kid.
Jul 25, 2015
Jul 24, 2015
This phone call apparently went well.
Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015
Half years are stupid.
Jul 24, 2015
Jul 23, 2015
Clara's Mid-Summer Bucket List
Jul 23, 2015
Jul 22, 2015
Are you faithful to your spouse? It's less common than you might think.
Jul 22, 2015
Jul 21, 2015
A simple solution for Scott Walker's uncertainty
Jul 21, 2015
Jul 20, 2015
The best marital advice you'll ever receive (and some thoughts on same sex marriage, too)
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 19, 2015
Brace yourself for the cutest thing EVER (not one bit of hyperbole)
Jul 19, 2015
Jul 18, 2015
Dentists need to tell stories, or they will end up with people like me in their chairs.
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 17, 2015
The next time you see or hear a story about the British royalty, I suggest this response:
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 16, 2015
First review of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs arrives!
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015
Don Featherstone was an interesting man for at least two reasons. Also, the mysteries of 57 and matchy-matchy remain unsolved, and it's really bothering me.
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 15, 2015
A brilliant app idea that I'm giving away for free. Take it. Make it. I'll be your first customer.
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 14, 2015
If I ruled the world, here are 11 laws that I would immediately enact.
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 13, 2015
THE GREATEST APP RECOMMENDATION OF ALL TIME: Wakie
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 12, 2015
Some fun facts are just facts
Jul 12, 2015
Jul 11, 2015
There are so many things wrong with this sign.
Jul 11, 2015
Jul 10, 2015
Naked clog fighting. Let me say that again: NAKED CLOG FIGHTING.
Jul 10, 2015
Jul 10, 2015
A restroom puzzle: How exactly is this configuration of toilets supposed to work?
Jul 10, 2015
Jul 9, 2015
Watching "Jaws" while floating in a murky pond at night helps explain why storytelling continues to gain in popularity
Jul 9, 2015
Jul 8, 2015
Why I choose to write in McDonald's
Jul 8, 2015
Jul 7, 2015
Sticks & Stones made it to the stage! I could not have done it alone.
Jul 7, 2015
Jul 6, 2015
Five important questions to ask about a religion before joining (or choosing to remain a member)
Jul 6, 2015
Jul 5, 2015
Would you share your toothbrush with a loved one? Or anyone?
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 4, 2015
Tennis balls are almost entirely flattened when struck by a racquet
Jul 4, 2015
Jul 3, 2015
This thing exists.
Jul 3, 2015
Jul 3, 2015
6 thoughts about this crazy-ass video from CatholicVote.org
Jul 3, 2015
Jul 2, 2015
The Moth makes it into the pages of Newsweek, and I play a teeny tiny role.
Jul 2, 2015
Jul 2, 2015
Republicans run the risk of becoming the latest version of George Wallace
Jul 2, 2015
Jul 1, 2015
I hate broccoli and kale and cabbage, and the reason is science. Maybe.
Jul 1, 2015
June 2015
Jun 30, 2015
If you want us to be quiet, please ask quietly.
Jun 30, 2015
Jun 30, 2015
Resolution update June 2015
Jun 30, 2015
Jun 29, 2015
"Bigot" is a strong word to label a person opposed to same sex marriage. Is it the correct word?
Jun 29, 2015
Jun 28, 2015
The truth behind Gilligan's Island is AMAZING.
Jun 28, 2015
Jun 27, 2015
Apple's desire to eliminate as many ports as possible on their laptops may be aesthetically pleasing, but it's also a pain in the ass.
Jun 27, 2015
Jun 27, 2015
Bad week for bigots. Good week for progressives. Conservatives? It depends.
Jun 27, 2015
Jun 26, 2015
I scheduled my book launch party on Rosh Hashanah for one very good reason.
Jun 26, 2015
Jun 25, 2015
If I can't have actual immortality, this would be an acceptable alternative:
Jun 25, 2015
Jun 24, 2015
I expected to annoy a lot of readers, but I wrote it anyway.
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 23, 2015
Best compliments of my life, including an addition to the list. You, too, should keep a list.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015
This kid might be too relaxed.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 22, 2015
Creativity is collaboration. As a storyteller, I stand on the shoulders of real life storytelling ninjas.
Jun 22, 2015
Jun 21, 2015
I taught my son to pee on a tree. Is this normal?
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 21, 2015
Super model in training
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 20, 2015
First and last day of kindergarten
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015
Instead of spending money in an unsafe, unfair Why not just manicure and pedicure each other?
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 19, 2015
Immaturity: A teacher's greatest weapon (according to at least one student)
Jun 19, 2015
Jun 18, 2015
Stop saying that girls are sporty, girls.
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 17, 2015
The next time it rains, don't complain. Do this.
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 16, 2015
Always calling for Mommy, even though she has ignored him almost every time
Jun 16, 2015
Jun 15, 2015
We don't roll down our car windows anymore. What the hell are my children going to do?
Jun 15, 2015
Jun 14, 2015
My son has no faith in me.
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015
I'm willing to reboot Lost, absent the stupid parts.
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 13, 2015
No TV since 1990 is no loss
Jun 13, 2015
Jun 12, 2015
Starbucks: Hate the product. Love the company.
Jun 12, 2015
Jun 11, 2015
Innocent enough to believe in "leap-whale"
Jun 11, 2015
Jun 11, 2015
Dear real estate agents: They're just houses.
Jun 11, 2015
Jun 10, 2015
Sometimes the removal of a single piece can change everything
Jun 10, 2015
Jun 9, 2015
The perfect in-law apartment. Or spare room. Or home for your millennial who flunked out of college or can't find a job "in his field."
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015
This movie looks great, but I'm sure the book was better
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 8, 2015
Finding common ground with a reasonable, albeit bigoted, pastor
Jun 8, 2015
Jun 7, 2015
This makes no sense to me. You?
Jun 7, 2015
Jun 6, 2015
Goodnight Moon: Supporting drug use and attempted kidnapping
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015
The Connecticut Forum: Backstage with the Creators of Serial
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 5, 2015
I was hoping for funny and embarrassing. Instead, I got one of the most amazing videos I have ever seen.
Jun 5, 2015
Jun 4, 2015
The dark, incestuous side of The Brady Bunch, including dog collars and nails
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015
Possible (and recommended) bookshelf goal
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 3, 2015
12 Popular Things That I've Never Done
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 2, 2015
Is it really so hard to imagine Jesus supporting same sex marriage?
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 1, 2015
Resolution update: May 2015
Jun 1, 2015
May 2015
May 31, 2015
The Nazis were evil, but this Disney film is insane
May 31, 2015
May 30, 2015
Ask a Teacher: Do You Teach to the Test?
May 30, 2015
May 30, 2015
I weep for this woman. Her husband is so sweet. And also a monster.
May 30, 2015
May 29, 2015
Bad decision by this teacher, but not for the reasons you might suspect.
May 29, 2015
May 28, 2015
The world lost an elementary school custodian yesterday, and a better man than most.
May 28, 2015
May 27, 2015
Want to be funny? Want to make people laugh? Tell a story. In the right sort of venue. With the right number of people.
May 27, 2015
May 26, 2015
My position on gossip is potentially divisive and possibly offensive, except that I guess it's not. Huzzah!
May 26, 2015
May 25, 2015
My minimalist hero and my possible desire to radically reduce my wardrobe
May 25, 2015
May 24, 2015
Listen to me talk about storytelling and teaching instead of reading my words
May 24, 2015
May 23, 2015
I wore jeans to a $25,000 a table gala and something surprising happened, as it often does when I am under-dressed.
May 23, 2015
May 22, 2015
Wine snobbery debunked.
May 22, 2015
May 21, 2015
My son is an overnight bully. Also, he apparently has superhuman strength.
May 21, 2015
May 20, 2015
I would make the same face if forced to eat avocados
May 20, 2015
May 19, 2015
Why was this second grader drinking a beer, and why did I allow it?
May 19, 2015
May 18, 2015
5 Quick Productivity Tips
May 18, 2015
May 17, 2015
A dance recital freak show, including marital discord, a gangrene foot, and a woman mistaking a children's dance recital for a dance party
May 17, 2015
May 16, 2015
Angry Bear Versus Little Girl: A Haiku
May 16, 2015
May 15, 2015
My daughter got in trouble at school, and I'm so glad.
May 15, 2015
May 14, 2015
Sequel Protection Service: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
May 14, 2015
May 13, 2015
No photo like this exists of my sister and me.
May 13, 2015
May 12, 2015
The question most frequently asked of me while I sign my name
May 12, 2015
May 11, 2015
A signed copy of Shakespeare's King Lear
May 11, 2015
May 10, 2015
If you have issues with Mother's Day, for whatever reason, please consider these two words or these six words.
May 10, 2015
May 9, 2015
I wonder if Beyonce started this way?
May 9, 2015
May 8, 2015
I have discovered the secret to a happy marriage. Seriously.
May 8, 2015
May 8, 2015
The joyous and much anticipated arrival of the garbage truck
May 8, 2015
May 7, 2015
"I have no gay friends," is perhaps an indicator of one of three things:
May 7, 2015
May 6, 2015
At last! My chance to take the stage with a professional Shakespearean company in a performance of Hamlet.
May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend fans: Look what Mrs. Gosk gave me!
May 6, 2015
May 5, 2015
Not the expression I want to see when someone is looking at my penis.
May 5, 2015
May 4, 2015
My inlaws introduced me to a new concept: Combination babysitting and home improvement services
May 4, 2015
May 3, 2015
Booktopia: The Final Chapter, and the mess that is me.
May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015
The most impressive thing my daughter has ever done
May 3, 2015
May 2, 2015
I won a Moth StorySLAM and made history.
May 2, 2015
May 2, 2015
Bio-breaks must stop now.
May 2, 2015
May 1, 2015
This still exists, and it's so stupid.
May 1, 2015
May 1, 2015
Resolution update: April 2015
May 1, 2015
April 2015
Apr 30, 2015
The right way for kids to do iPad
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015
I was spoiled by sandwich meat.
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 29, 2015
Off the blog reading: Father's Day Crushes Mother's Day and Re-Imagining the Author Talk in 3 Parts
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015
Was 1991 as oddly pink and patriotic as this Sizzler video implies?
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 28, 2015
My son is being abused by his sister and he doesn't even know it.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #7 (with my answer): Tell us a joke.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 27, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #6 (with my answer): What historical presidential moment tells us the most about your vision of the office?
Apr 27, 2015
Apr 27, 2015
My daughter's position on makeup makes a hell of a lot of sense
Apr 27, 2015
Apr 26, 2015
Do you know how to play Sandwich Man?
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #5 (with my answer): What experience have you had that will serve you well as president?
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 25, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #4 (with my answers): What’s your greatest governing triumph?
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 24, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #3 (with my answers): What’s your greatest political triumph?
Apr 24, 2015
Apr 23, 2015
Presidential Job Application: Question #2 (with my answer): What's the biggest personal crisis you’ve faced and how did you handle it?
Apr 23, 2015
Apr 22, 2015
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs: An expletive-laced mention in Library Journal
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #1 (with my answer): What’s the biggest crisis you’ve faced in your professional life and how did you handle it?
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 21, 2015
Thought he was sick. Turns out he only wanted some attention.
Apr 21, 2015
Apr 21, 2015
Marco Rubio: You can't claim to be young when your ideas are as old as dirt.
Apr 21, 2015
Apr 20, 2015
What do tanning beds, mustard gas, and arsenic have in common?
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 20, 2015
This was not a temper tantrum. This was Britt McHenry being Britt McHenry.
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 19, 2015
Annoyingly cool
Apr 19, 2015
Apr 18, 2015
This woman wears the same thing to work everyday. You should be as impressed with her as I am.
Apr 18, 2015
Apr 18, 2015
This is why spell-check is my hero.
Apr 18, 2015
Apr 17, 2015
Nice is anything but nice
Apr 17, 2015
Apr 16, 2015
I think there might be something wrong with my daughter.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 15, 2015
My Professional Best Man career is officially launched
Apr 15, 2015
Apr 14, 2015
Stealing Daddy's headphones
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015
3 Reasons Why You Should Never Send a Kid to a Dictionary to Look Up the Spelling of a Word
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 12, 2015
Wedding advice: No impromptu toasts.
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015
Potty training in the modern world
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 11, 2015
Dear Adam Cloud: “Yard Goats” is the definition of unique. Also, your argument that the name is offensive is absurd.
Apr 11, 2015
Apr 10, 2015
A note to my children regarding the shame and embarrassment of 2015
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 9, 2015
Look! I Found the cutest thing that has ever existed on the planet!
Apr 9, 2015
Apr 9, 2015
31 lessons I teach my students that aren’t in the curriculum
Apr 9, 2015
Apr 8, 2015
Three sentences that everyone should say more often
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015
I like standing on walls and big rocks, too.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 7, 2015
“Spring is here!” roars these tiny, purple flowers.
Apr 7, 2015
Apr 7, 2015
I want to be Jimmy Fallon
Apr 7, 2015
Apr 6, 2015
Changes to this website and blog are coming. Thoughts?
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015
Legitimate complaints about the toilet
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 5, 2015
11 thoughts on yesterday’s TEDxBU event, including observations from the restrooms and my advice for future TED speakers.
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015
Future CTfastrak spokespersons
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 4, 2015
It’s a shame when people pose as Christians and give Jesus a bad name.
Apr 4, 2015
Apr 3, 2015
One is the loneliest number, even if you’re an American Girl doll.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 2, 2015
Ladies: Leave my choice of winter clothing alone. I’M FINE.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 1, 2015
Little routines by little people that mean so much to me for reasons I can’t explain.
Apr 1, 2015
Apr 1, 2015
Resolution update: March 2015
Apr 1, 2015
March 2015
Mar 31, 2015
If the teacher tells you that your child is not gifted, it’s more likely that it’s the teacher who is not gifted.
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 29, 2015
Students were required to listen to Ted Cruz - under threat of fines - which seems just plain mean. Also agonizing.
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015
14 Things That Annoy Me (and probably you)
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 28, 2015
The two reasons that people like foods that they initially despise are exactly the two reasons that I still don’t like those foods.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 27, 2015
I want this life.
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 26, 2015
The author Julian Barnes would kill me, and defacing books is a terrible thing, but don’t you think this is also an AMAZING idea?
Mar 26, 2015
Mar 26, 2015
My son’s excitement over a recent visit to the mall is slightly disconcerting
Mar 26, 2015
Mar 25, 2015
Teachers of writing at any level: Read this immediately. Nothing is more important.
Mar 25, 2015
Mar 24, 2015
I don’t know Kathleen Hampton, but based upon her lawsuit, I suspect that ‘entitled and insufferable” are likely descriptors.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 22, 2015
Is Ted Cruz really this stupid or is he simply pandering to idiots?
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015
Everyone deserves to have fans.
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015
The consistently late are the scum of the Earth. Here’s a simple strategy to avoid being late in the future.
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015
This is what happens after you behave well during your doctor’s appointment
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 21, 2015
The Joyful and Effective Use of Condoms in the Latter Years of Life: My latest workshop
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 20, 2015
A brilliant way to turn incessant texting into something splendid and amusing
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 19, 2015
Today I feel like a real author – which doesn’t happen often – and not for any reason that you might imagine.
Mar 19, 2015
Mar 18, 2015
This is the real reason you go shopping before a snowstorm
Mar 18, 2015
Mar 17, 2015
Malcolm Gladwell on shorter attention spans, inherent unfairness, and the selfie.
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 16, 2015
The single greatest death bed regret of Generation X (and maybe beyond) will be this:
Mar 16, 2015
Mar 15, 2015
I didn’t respond to a stranger’s unsolicited manuscript for 48 hours, so his angry response was probably justified. Right?
Mar 15, 2015
Mar 14, 2015
Sequel Protection Service: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (The Millennium) series
Mar 14, 2015
Mar 13, 2015
A student wrote something that made me cry while reading it aloud. And thanks to the rules of my “Make your teacher cry” contest, my tears were caught on video.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 12, 2015
Outdoors at last!
Mar 12, 2015
Mar 11, 2015
23 jobs I seriously considered at one point in my life (and still do with a few exceptions)
Mar 11, 2015
Mar 10, 2015
Why do I blog? Because it’s nearly led to national television, and it still might. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 9, 2015
12 Things Teachers Wish They Could Say to Parents
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 8, 2015
One of those moments when I’m happy that I’m over 40 years old.
Mar 8, 2015
Mar 8, 2015
50 Healthiest Foods of All Time: A large percentage are a mystery to me.
Mar 8, 2015
Mar 7, 2015
19 things I heart right now
Mar 7, 2015
Mar 6, 2015
A replica guillotine in the middle of a children’s museum?
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 5, 2015
COVER REVEAL: The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015
I am so proud and excited about the world in which my children are growing up.
Mar 5, 2015
Mar 4, 2015
Curt Shilling is wrong about evolution, but his response to Internet trolls was commendable and enough to make this Yankees fan cheer.
Mar 4, 2015
Mar 3, 2015
Nine rules for making you more efficient with email and less of a jerk face
Mar 3, 2015
Mar 2, 2015
Less lecture. More learning.
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015
Mike Huckabee is a bigot still living in 1996
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 1, 2015
The McRib is super healthy and nothing like a yoga mat
Mar 1, 2015
February 2015
Feb 28, 2015
Resolution update: February
Feb 28, 2015
Feb 28, 2015
Cat Heaven snuck up on me and made me cry.
Feb 28, 2015
Feb 27, 2015
I’ve found the next, great cereal spokesperson
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015
One of these words is not like the others
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 26, 2015
Friendship Application 3.0
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 25, 2015
I won’t be reading my novel to my children. For a damn good reason.
Feb 25, 2015
Feb 24, 2015
I have illogical affection for this.
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015
5 questions about the third line of James Taylor “Fire and Rain,” which will likely plague me until the end of days.
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 23, 2015
Four things to consider before dating a coworker: An office romance with my future wife.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015
Emergency and Evacuation Plan maps should not be designed to produce panic
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 22, 2015
You’re allowed to sound this bad when you’re this cute.
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 21, 2015
If you want to deny homosexuals the same rights as heterosexuals, you are evil.
Feb 21, 2015
Feb 20, 2015
Just when you think that the boy is being dragged around by the girl, he asks the question that breaks my heart.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015
Stephen Fry explains what he would say if he was “confronted by God” and nearly knocks the interviewer out of his seat.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 19, 2015
This is not a telephone, so how does my son know that this was once a telephone?
Feb 19, 2015
Feb 18, 2015
It’s easy to criticize what people do. It’s often what people don’t do that matters more, yet these inactions are often ignored. So leave me alone, you inactive, moronic toadstools.
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 17, 2015
13 thoughts upon seeing my son trying to be cooler than me.
Feb 17, 2015
Feb 15, 2015
My daughter wished me luck before my most recent Moth GrandSLAM performance then promptly retracted it.
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015
The fallacy of private criticism and the mistake teachers often make when assigning consequences
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 14, 2015
Novelist Jose Saramago quit writing in 1953. Part of me wants to reach back in time and hug him. The other part wants to smack him.
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 13, 2015
The blend of happiness and sadness, pride and envy of the working day is easy on some days. Impossibly hard on others. Also, my son needs to get himself a job.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015
It took this couple 8 years to say “I love you” to each other. It took my wife slightly less time to say it to me.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 12, 2015
In the unlikely event that my books, films, and musicals don’t make me a wealthy man, I have a back-up plan more than 350 people strong.
Feb 12, 2015
Feb 11, 2015
There is no female counterpart to the word “guys,” and that is a tragedy.
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015
In the words of Budo…
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 10, 2015
Best compliment of my life
Feb 10, 2015
Feb 9, 2015
Clara’s sixth birthday. Make it stop.
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015
Death bed regrets revisited: 2015
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 8, 2015
Poetry memorization need not be boring or a waste of time. I have used it to make a woman swoon (possibly) and enact one of my greatest pranks of all time against a fellow teacher.
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015
Not nearly the late bloomer that his Daddy was
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 7, 2015
The moment for which every author longs, experienced by my wife.
Feb 7, 2015
Feb 7, 2015
Sleeping with goats on The Gist
Feb 7, 2015
Feb 6, 2015
What’s the word for this feeling?
Feb 6, 2015
Feb 5, 2015
My daughter is failing to follow in her father’s footsteps, and I am both thrilled and mystified.
Feb 5, 2015
Feb 4, 2015
The tragedy of the philtrum: Join me in elevating it to its proper status in the American lexicon.
Feb 4, 2015
Feb 3, 2015
Business Insider lists 9 unfair advantages that help people get ahead. I’ve benefited from 5. Physical attractiveness is not one of them.
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 2, 2015
My wife’s text message in the closing seconds of the Super Bowl said it all.
Feb 2, 2015
January 2015
Jan 31, 2015
One of the best nights of my life
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015
How to come off as an insecure douchebag
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015
Ugly people unite! Sometimes beauty can only be found in numbers.
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 30, 2015
It’s your booger.
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015
Resolution update: January 2015
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 29, 2015
Speak Up is two years old! It began with a snow day and a simple question to my wife.
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 28, 2015
Elsa just wants to blow me.
Jan 28, 2015
Jan 27, 2015
Wanted: Photographs of sofas and slippers and well appointed thermostats. Please?
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015
This guy is too damn young to be teaching.
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 26, 2015
Two important things to remember as the Blizzard of 2015 approaches
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015
30 lessons learned from six years of parenting
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015
Storytelling on The Gist
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 25, 2015
Slate might actually be stealing my ideas. Not really, but you have to admit that it’s getting a little suspicious.
Jan 25, 2015
Jan 24, 2015
The mindset of the person who affixes those stick figure family decals to the rear window of their car mystifies me.
Jan 24, 2015
Jan 24, 2015
Love my readers
Jan 24, 2015
Jan 23, 2015
My aunts and uncles were once young and strong and infinite. This is how I try to remember them even when the shadows of my ongoing existential crisis creep in.
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 22, 2015
This is how I survive meetings.
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 21, 2015
My friends are incredibly odd. Complete outliers. I couldn’t be more happy.
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 20, 2015
How I teach storytelling
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015
I think my wife married me to compensate for her lack of a sense of direction.
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 19, 2015
The best moment that I have ever spent at a football game. Maybe one of the best moments of my life. And it happened during a timeout.
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 18, 2015
When do you allow your child to quit an activity? Also, entering into contractual agreements with your child is insane.
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015
A new definition for enthusiasm
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 17, 2015
So much wrong with this photograph
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 16, 2015
A perfect combination of glitter, revenge, and the US Postal Service: My kind of company
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 15, 2015
Productivity tip #14: Start your day ahead of everyone else.
Jan 15, 2015
Jan 15, 2015
Mystery behind this photograph solved, though the solution was fairly obvious.
Jan 15, 2015
Jan 14, 2015
The Kindle’s beta version, perhaps?
Jan 14, 2015
Jan 13, 2015
There’s nothing better than a little fire in your belly to keep you moving forward. Find something to hate.
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015
Insult advertising is the best
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 12, 2015
Your future self wants you to be daring and adventurous. Don’t let the current version of yourself screw things up because it’s cold.
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015
My Story of the Day exercise will change your life. I promise. And you'll find a bunch of stories in the process.
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 11, 2015
Productivity tip #13: Own one belt.
Jan 11, 2015
Jan 10, 2015
Someone at Slate magazine has been reading my blog and stealing my brilliant ideas. Seriously. Sort of.
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015
My students chose mustard covered bees.
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 9, 2015
Verbal sparring 101: Comparing apples and oranges makes a whole lot of sense. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Jan 9, 2015
Jan 8, 2015
Taylor Swift teaches a valuable lesson to all content creators.
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 7, 2015
The prize for my latest writing contest is the threat of tears and possible humiliation. No wonder my students are writing up a storm.
Jan 7, 2015
Jan 6, 2015
The Professional Best Man: A bride’s best friend, too.
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 5, 2015
Stupid people think they’re smart, and smart people think they’re not. Most important: They can’t help it. This explains everything.
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 4, 2015
Productivity tip #12: Embrace the imperfect.
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 3, 2015
The Play-Doh sex toy was a mistake, but making a big deal out of it is much worse.
Jan 3, 2015
Jan 1, 2015
A New Year’s resolution for all experienced parents: Silence the small, sad and stupid. Allow expecting parents to be expectant.
Jan 1, 2015
Jan 1, 2015
New Years resolutions: 2015
Jan 1, 2015
December 2014
Dec 31, 2014
Resolution update: 2014 in review
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014
My highly improbable weekend
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 30, 2014
I want to be overpaid.
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014
Best Christmas gift ever. Someone strongly hint about this to my kids when they are old enough to understand.
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 29, 2014
Useless skills: Speaking and listening simultaneously
Dec 29, 2014
Dec 28, 2014
How did television meteorologists become household names, and why can’t I name a single one of these guys?
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 27, 2014
New Year’s resolutions work. Goal setting can change your life. Maybe not for losers, but you are not a loser. Don’t let the pundits tell you otherwise.
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 26, 2014
My 2014 Christmas haul
Dec 26, 2014
Dec 26, 2014
The cat peed and pooped and vomited on our Christmas preparations, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Dec 26, 2014
Dec 25, 2014
My daughter’s grandmother is sadly more Susan than grandmother
Dec 25, 2014
Dec 24, 2014
Storyteller Interruptus
Dec 24, 2014
Dec 23, 2014
Turns out that I’m quite the catch
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 22, 2014
Another reason why I want a time machine
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 22, 2014
If Newington, Connecticut ever wants a new slogan, it has many options, including a serial killer and a lot of coffee.
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 21, 2014
“I checked his tushy and there was no poop anywhere.”
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014
Why it’s glorious to be a Patriots fan
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 20, 2014
Seasons Magazine: My latest column on how real men don’t use snow blowers
Dec 20, 2014
Dec 20, 2014
The girl rejected her mother’s culinary advances, but the boy could not resist
Dec 20, 2014
Dec 19, 2014
Everyone is completely overwhelmed, except I kind of think that they aren’t and should reconsider their position.
Dec 19, 2014
Dec 19, 2014
I guess I really, really, really love my wife.
Dec 19, 2014
Dec 18, 2014
Santa Claus spent the day at an abomination of a grocery store, and he was BRILLIANT.
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 17, 2014
Michael Lewis wants women to rule Wall Street. I would like to take his thesis about a million steps further.
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014
Another demanded apology that will likely go unanswered and is pathetic and stupid either way.
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 16, 2014
Just when I start to become a cynical, entitled, unappreciative jerk face, Jenny Slate comes along and sets me straight.
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 15, 2014
An elementary school teacher’s recollections from the day of the Newtown tragedy
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014
Who ever said that domestic violence and sexual assault are hard subjects to talk about? What’s the deal, NFL?
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 14, 2014
Charlie found a whistle. And he was happy.
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014
Arrogance may be the perfect replacement to an extra hour or two of sleep
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 13, 2014
I’m going to disagree with “I’m going to push back on that a little.”
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 12, 2014
Life is good when you’re two years-old
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014
Kolf: Golf played on ice. And yes, we're going to play it.
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 11, 2014
The Boy Scouts encourages rank advancement by making the first three ranks embarrassing and pathetic.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 10, 2014
Pineapples once were popular party accessories. And not for eating.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014
My friends are dullards by comparison.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014
Tiny windows hurt my heart.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 9, 2014
I have 15 jobs. So you probably require my services in one way or another.
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014
Cruelty is a sign of true friendship
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 8, 2014
My 15 dead friends (potentially)
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014
These 8 minutes of amateur video are better than any show on television.
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 7, 2014
The best way to stop a novelist dead in his tracks
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014
Good news and not bad news regarding my idea for an MRI boutique
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 5, 2014
Three ideas to increase profitability at ESPN
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014
He’ll never have it this good again.
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014
The St. Louis Police Officers Association have demanded an apology, which unfortunately has made them look like middle school brats.
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 4, 2014
Presentation consultant for hire
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 3, 2014
Outsourcing and crowdsourcing my New Year’s resolutions: Any suggestions for me?
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 3, 2014
The lack of sibling rivalry is my daughter's crowning achievement.
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 2, 2014
Our little ingrate has grown up. Unfortunately.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 1, 2014
Resolution update: November 2014
Dec 1, 2014
November 2014
Nov 30, 2014
Apples are possibly the least relevant part of apple picking
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014
My 1992-1994 culture gap: Two years without television, movies, or music
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 29, 2014
I was once a bank teller, waiting on Mark Wahlberg, writing sonnets, and battling my idiot manager.
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 28, 2014
The stuff of my wife’s childhood is alive and well in the hands of our children, and I’m so jealous.
Nov 28, 2014
Nov 28, 2014
A Christmas Story, brought to life through animatronics and a lot of love
Nov 28, 2014
Nov 27, 2014
One more thing to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014
Canned, jellied cranberry sauce will not go the way of the dodo (or the Twinkie) if I have anything to say about it.
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014
18 reasons for me to be thankful on Thanksgiving 2014
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 26, 2014
The MRI boutique: My next great business idea. Who wants to be my first investor?
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014
Cooler than his father ever was or will be
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 25, 2014
The 8 lowest forms of human communication (2014 update)
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014
Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 24, 2014
Interstellar should be a TV show
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014
High school students wrote and produced raps based upon one of my books
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 23, 2014
Bread bags on your feet was apparently a thing. Not just my family’s desperate attempt to keep our feet dry in the snow.
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014
Budo loves Max
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 22, 2014
I went to the movies and met an amazing young woman and a loud-mouthed racist.
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014
Farmer Charlie
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 21, 2014
One of my fictional characters has found his way into math class
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 20, 2014
How much would you pay for one more hour in your day. Hint: There is a correct answer, and most Americans got it wrong.
Nov 20, 2014
Nov 19, 2014
BJ Novak’s new children’s book is annoyingly brilliant, just like everything else he does annoyingly well.
Nov 19, 2014
Nov 18, 2014
Adult sized Underoos might be even better than a sexy Princess Leia costume.
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014
A simple declaration and a smidgen of self confidence can launch a business and change your life. Just look at my mother-in-law.
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 17, 2014
3 most important rules of the thank you note
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014
My father rode horses all his life. I rode horses until they were taken away. Watching my kids ride horses, even for a day, was magical.
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 16, 2014
Perhaps I have more in common with the Matthew Dicks of Des Moines, Iowa than just our names and our mug shots
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 15, 2014
Sometimes I think that my daughter is already cooler than I will ever be.
Nov 15, 2014
Nov 15, 2014
New word: Truché
Nov 15, 2014
Nov 14, 2014
I have a lot of stories to tell. More than you could ever imagine. I suspect that Bill Murray would understand why.
Nov 14, 2014
Nov 13, 2014
My possibly petulant “I told you so” climate change Kickstarter idea: I need your feedback. Am I an idiot?
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 13, 2014
My Daddy gnaws on raw pumpkin.
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 12, 2014
I was once homeless, living in my 1992 Toyota Tercel. But that still seemed spacious compared to this apartment.
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 11, 2014
Seriously badass porcupine
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014
She can find her own bed, and it hurt.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 10, 2014
Christmas seems to have arrived early this year, and shut the hell up.
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014
“I’m not a scientist” is a perfectly acceptable response to climate change questions, as long as you’re willing to acknowledge everything else that you are not.
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 9, 2014
The McRib is back. It’s delicious. And there’s nothing wrong with it, you closed-minded, pretentious food snobs.
Nov 9, 2014
Nov 8, 2014
I want to be asked more rhetorical questions
Nov 8, 2014
Nov 8, 2014
I never realized how truly disturbing the opening sequences to 1980’s TV shows were until now.
Nov 8, 2014
Nov 7, 2014
No technology is a great way to teach. Also, PowerPoint is more than two decades old. It doesn’t count as technology anymore.
Nov 7, 2014
Nov 7, 2014
My son doesn’t give a damn about my deadlines.
Nov 7, 2014
Nov 6, 2014
It would be amazing if my daughter became a firefighter when she grew up. My wife may disagree slightly.
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 6, 2014
Hunter Thompson once retyped The Great Gatsby just to feel what it was like to write a great novel. What a stupid waste of time.
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 5, 2014
How I Function on Less Than 6 Hours of Sleep (and how you could, too)
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014
No electricity. No touch screen. No Internet connection. Just centrifugal force and joy.
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 4, 2014
Still in love
Nov 4, 2014
Nov 3, 2014
A bungled MVP presentation demonstrates a truth about storytelling. Also, I’m available for hire, Chevy. And you need me. Desperately.
Nov 3, 2014
Nov 3, 2014
My son wants attention. Just not from me. And it’s starting to hurt a little.
Nov 3, 2014
Nov 2, 2014
The vastly underutilized “You told me so.”
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014
The two days that I will not miss my children and pets one bit
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 1, 2014
He can sing the Clean Up song. Does this mean he might actually learn to clean up someday?
Nov 1, 2014
Nov 1, 2014
Resolution update: October 2014
Nov 1, 2014
October 2014
Oct 31, 2014
Halloween has meant many different things to me depending upon the year. Have your Halloweens followed a similar trajectory?
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014
People will still try to destroy you.
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 30, 2014
Who is watching these political ads?
Oct 30, 2014
Oct 30, 2014
Our little yoga clocks
Oct 30, 2014
Oct 29, 2014
11 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was 20
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 28, 2014
Today will be one of the hardest days of parenting so far. I know I’m lucky in this respect, but there is still a hole in my heart.
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 27, 2014
Don’t say goodbye to the bride and groom. Just leave. Let it be your final gift to them.
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014
I began the day as a depressed and angry idiot. I ended the day with laughter and rainbows and sunshine. Literally. The lesson: Don’t give up hope.
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 26, 2014
My son cracked his head open with a lamp. My wife’s reaction to his head wound was unusual but surprisingly typical.
Oct 26, 2014
Oct 25, 2014
My new startup idea: Rate My Parents
Oct 25, 2014
Oct 25, 2014
The boy loves his yoga
Oct 25, 2014
Oct 24, 2014
Something is funny
Oct 24, 2014
Oct 23, 2014
Why does this photo make me so sad?
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 22, 2014
I wonder this all the time.
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 21, 2014
Hack a friend’s Facebook profile. Have fun and do some good all at the same time.
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014
Hot Buzz About Books and Book Clubs
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 20, 2014
Conscientiousness is the most important trait. This may explain how I manage to overcome the absence of so many others.
Oct 20, 2014
Oct 19, 2014
Favorite girls
Oct 19, 2014
Oct 18, 2014
Death helps. Steve Jobs knew this, and unlike me, he didn’t need to die in order to learn it.
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 17, 2014
My kids love each other so much, and you can shut your mouth about it.
Oct 17, 2014
Oct 16, 2014
The difference between playing school and teaching school
Oct 16, 2014
Oct 15, 2014
A race to the bottom: Which state will be the last to legalize same sex marriage?
Oct 15, 2014
Oct 14, 2014
Teachers: Stop commenting, positively or negatively, on your student’s physical appearance. It’s only hurting them.
Oct 14, 2014
Oct 14, 2014
Hemingway was an idiot. Write sober.
Oct 14, 2014
Oct 13, 2014
John Steinbeck was an unrealistically and obscenely mature man
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014
The Mystery of Prince Rupert’s Drop: A small piece of glass made amazing
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 12, 2014
Productivity tip #11: What "I didn't have enough time" really means.
Oct 12, 2014
Oct 11, 2014
“Guess what?” You sound like an idiot when you say “Guess what?”
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014
Learning to be a grandfather from the best
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 10, 2014
Funnier than some big budget comedies
Oct 10, 2014
Oct 9, 2014
How I establish the rules of my classroom
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014
I hope they remember this moment when they want to kill each other.
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 8, 2014
Saturday morning cartoons are no more. A sad day for someone whose 27 year friendship may have been predicated on a Saturday morning cartoon theme song.
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014
There can only be one explanation for a Republican campaign ad as sexist and stupid as this.
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 7, 2014
Is it wrong for me to find this Wallkill Mighty Mites clip nearly as entertaining as the Patriots victory over the Bengals?
Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014
Hot Buzz About Books and Book Clubs
Oct 7, 2014
Oct 6, 2014
No one wants to see your photos of the sunrise or the sunset.
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014
Let’s put an end to the Miss America pageant by making anyone who watches it feel small and stupid and uninformed.
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 5, 2014
I have never used an em dash. I don’t even know how to make an em dash. But you can still find them in my books.
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014
Beautiful wife. Scolded boy. Molded in plastic.
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 4, 2014
This is what happens when you work in the industry for 17 years.
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014
A man shouted at me. Swore at me. My response was not appropriate. Unfortunately.
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014
Daddy is dumb. Mommy is a genius.
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 3, 2014
This short film presents a situation that is both ridiculous and reality. And that scares the hell out of me.
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 2, 2014
My story was featured on The Moth’s podcast this week. I still get goose bumps.
Oct 2, 2014
Oct 2, 2014
Clara's September bus stop outfits
Oct 2, 2014
Oct 1, 2014
While my son was joyously climbing aboard fire engines and tractors, my daughter and I were engulfed in tragedy and heartache.
Oct 1, 2014
Oct 1, 2014
Resolution update: September 2014
Oct 1, 2014
September 2014
Sep 30, 2014
Unacceptable platitude #7: “Fair does not mean equal.”
Sep 30, 2014
Sep 29, 2014
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2014
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 28, 2014
Stupid yoga may be turning my son into a dweeb. Or perhaps he’s trying to get the attention of women like his father once did.
Sep 28, 2014
Sep 27, 2014
Office space turned dance hall, yoga studio, lunch room hell. I bet they’re all organic, gluten-free, transcendentalist vegans, too.
Sep 27, 2014
Sep 26, 2014
My five year-old daughter has discovered the BEST COMEBACK EVER
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014
September 26, 1983: The day a Soviet colonel and forgotten hero saved the world from nuclear destruction.
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 25, 2014
Poop is here.
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 25, 2014
ESPN makes the same stupid mistake that they criticized NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for two months ago.
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 24, 2014
My annual plea to the girls in my fifth grade class: Maintain your advantage over the boys. Rule the world.
Sep 24, 2014
Sep 23, 2014
My daughter received her first library card. Her father might be more excited about it than she is, and for good reason.
Sep 23, 2014
Sep 22, 2014
I have a simple, inexpensive, highly effective means of improving learning for all students: Make things fun.
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 21, 2014
This author found a way to sell books with sticks and leaves and a little bit of twine.
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014
Our unusually dark and strange family lullaby
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 20, 2014
The Grecian Bend was stupid, but no. Heels are still stupider.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 19, 2014
There was a dead man in our hotel room.
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 18, 2014
Star Wars is nothing without the music
Sep 18, 2014
Sep 17, 2014
Purposeful procrastination: Are slightly lower grades really all that bad?
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 16, 2014
The tyranny of the syllabus
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014
My children visited a bookstore on the last day of summer. Their behavior was shocking.
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 15, 2014
My best piece of parenting advice
Sep 15, 2014
Sep 15, 2014
Just like his mom. And his dad, actually.
Sep 15, 2014
Sep 14, 2014
If I was able to choose my children’s teachers, this is what I would want more than anything else.
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 14, 2014
When you choose the name Moxie Marlinspike, you have to expect people to ask about the name. Just answer the question.
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 13, 2014
Men are far more likely to make stupid decisions in sports. But are the reasons for this stupidity all bad? I don’t think so.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014
The range of emotions at the bus stop on Friday was astounding.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 12, 2014
At last I have a plan for old age
Sep 12, 2014
Sep 11, 2014
The Moth: Secret Bedroom Move
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014
Bathtub interloper
Sep 11, 2014