Deep thoughts on God, pets, holidays and the Internet: Ian Martin covers it all

British author Ian Martin offered 60 thoughts on turning 60 years-old.

The whole piece is excellent. Here are a few items that I especially loved:

20. A pre-internet world is unthinkable.

21. There wasn't any internet 30 years ago.

It’s true. And though the Internet is 30 years old, it is less than 20 years old for most of us. I was active on the Internet in 1995, but most of my classmates at Trinity College were not. Even then, the Internet was a shadow of what it is today. There was no commerce and little two-way communication between users. In terms of ubiquitous use by a large segment of the American public, the Internet didn’t truly take hold until the beginning of this century. Despite all this, it’s almost impossible for me to imagine a world pre-Internet today.

Also, please note that Martin doesn’t capitalize the word “internet.” I’m not sure if this is a British convention, but it’s the way Internet should be spelled.

24. Holidays seem so much more arseache than they are worth.

I love this for two reasons.

First, the word “arseache is brilliant. I don’t know if it’s a word that the Brits use on a regular basis, but I love it. So much better than the phrase “pain in the ass.”

Also, I agree with him. Holidays of every kind are almost always a pain in the ass.

41. Oh shut up, of course God exists. Even if God turns out to be just science in fancy pajamas. Honestly, you think all this stuff "militant here in Earth" is not being saved to some "memory cloud"? There are Tumblr accounts for people's bloody cats.

God is “just science in fancy pajamas.” That’s a religious view I can almost get behind. 

My wife would most heartily approve the following:

11. I have nothing against pets in theory. It's just that, in reality, pets are noisy, selfish, practically incontinent, morally depraved and just really stupid. They are walking, flapping analogs of your own paranoid self-loathing. You take your soul-searching Labrador for a walk and a chat. I'll just watch a bit of telly.

I am reminded at least once a week that we will not be getting any more pets ever again.