I'm proud to say I've never done this. Or this. Or this.

Last week I proclaimed pride in not knowing who Amanda Bynes is. Since making that claim, I have learned that she is or was a child actor. What she is today is still a mystery to me because I don’t care and don’t want to know. Based upon the comments that I see about her in my Twitter stream, Amanda Bynes is an easy target of social media cruelty and clearly someone not worth my time. A friend replied to my comment by expressing her pride in never having seen any of the Real Housewives or Kardashian shows, a claim that I can also proudly make (add The Jersey Shore and  The Bachelor/Bachelorette to my list).

In reading her comment, it occurred to me that while we often take pride in our accomplishments and achievements, there are things that we have never done that cause us to feel pride as well.

With that in mind, I hereby present my list of things that I have never done that cause me to feel just as much pride as the things I have done.


Never watched a single episode of The Real Housewives, The Jersey Shore, or anything involving those Kardashian people

Never used an illegal drug in my entire life (though I am admittedly bereft of good drug stories as a result)

Never bought a lottery ticket

Never smoked a cigarette

Never revealed a secret that I was asked to keep

Never swore in the presence of my mother

Never shoplifted

Never taken a selfie

Never actually said the word “selfie” aloud