Rules on how to be a man, which should not include anything related to physical appearance or handcrafted firearms.

A list of more than 75 ways to be a man in today’s world recently gained some traction on social media last week (as lists are wont to do), and I found it to be simultaneously excellent and exceptionally disappointing.

There are some real gems on the list that I adore, but unfortunately, the list is also populated by rules enforcing image conformity and complete nonsense like these:

  • Buy expensive sunglasses. Superficial? Yes, but so are the women judging you. And it tells these women you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.
  • Your clothes do not match. They go together.
  • It’s better if old men cut your hair. Ask for Sammy at the Mandarin Oriental Barbershop in Hong Kong. He can share his experiences of the Japanese occupation, or just give you a copy of Playboy.
  • Own a handcrafted shotgun. It’s a beautiful thing.

Still, there are some items of brilliance on this list. Here are the ones I like the best:

  • You don’t have to like baseball, but you should understand the concept of what a pitcher’s ERA means. Approach life similarly.
  • Stop talking about where you went to college.
  • You will regret your tattoos.
  • When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
  • There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.
  • You may only request one song from the DJ.
  • Measure yourself only against your previous self.
  • Place-dropping is worse than-name dropping.
  • Revenge can be a good way of getting over anger.
  • No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.
  • Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain, and will make you more interesting at a dinner party – provided that you don’t initiate conversation with, “So, who are you reading…”