Matthew Dicks
  • Books Something Missing Unexpectedly, Milo Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
  • Blog
  • Storytelling Speak Up
  • Podcasts
  • Plays
  • Appearances
  • BIO
  • Contact

Matthew Dicks

  • Books/
    • Books
    • Something Missing
    • Unexpectedly, Milo
    • Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
    • The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
  • Blog/
  • Storytelling/
    • Storytelling
    • Speak Up
  • Podcasts/
  • Plays/
  • Appearances/
  • BIO/
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Matthew Dicks

Grin and Bare It

A blog by Matthew Dicks

Matthew Dicks

  • Books/
    • Books
    • Something Missing
    • Unexpectedly, Milo
    • Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
    • The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
  • Blog/
  • Storytelling/
    • Storytelling
    • Speak Up
  • Podcasts/
  • Plays/
  • Appearances/
  • BIO/
  • Contact/
August 14, 2014

This is not the look a father wants to see on his little girl's face.

August 14, 2014/ matthew

My daughter’s new haircut is lovely, but she’s only five years-old. She hasn’t even started kindergarten yet. Where did she learn this perfect blend of annoyance and disinterest?

image

August 14, 2014/ matthew/ Comment
Family
daughter, haircut

matthew

  • I won a Moth StorySLAM, and that ...
  • Dungeons & Dragons brought me back ...
  • Books/
    • Books
    • Something Missing
    • Unexpectedly, Milo
    • Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
    • The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
  • Blog/
  • Storytelling/
    • Storytelling
    • Speak Up
  • Podcasts/
  • Plays/
  • Appearances/
  • BIO/
  • Contact/

Matthew Dicks

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  • June 2017
    • Jun 22, 2017 "All gender" restroom signs are the best Jun 22, 2017
    • Jun 21, 2017 Democratic Republic of the Congo, of course! Jun 21, 2017
    • Jun 20, 2017 Heroes have a way of making you realize how small-minded and ungrateful you have been. Jun 20, 2017
    • Jun 19, 2017 Shameful Betsy DeVos can't say what most human beings can say with ease Jun 19, 2017
    • Jun 18, 2017 Suck less Jun 18, 2017
    • Jun 18, 2017 Not all sources of inspiration are equal Jun 18, 2017
    • Jun 16, 2017 Sleeps like her daddy Jun 16, 2017
    • Jun 15, 2017 If you are reading this, it is very likely that you don't deserve the fourth cookie Jun 15, 2017
    • Jun 14, 2017 The things I get done while sleepwalking Jun 14, 2017
    • Jun 13, 2017 Wherever you stand on the political spectrum, you have to admire and hopefully agree with everything that James Comey says here during last week's hearings. Jun 13, 2017
    • Jun 12, 2017 Why indeed. Jun 12, 2017
    • Jun 11, 2017 How to Save a Boy Jun 11, 2017
    • Jun 10, 2017 My home state's stupidly misspelled word, and some confusion about misspelling related to pornography Jun 10, 2017
    • Jun 9, 2017 I wish my students would accuse me of a war crime Jun 9, 2017
    • Jun 8, 2017 17 rules I break Jun 8, 2017
    • Jun 7, 2017 My children's personal ten commandments are beautiful, heart wrenching, and completely applicable. Jun 7, 2017
    • Jun 6, 2017 Rachel Platten has it all wrong when it comes to truth and faith, and I have no idea why. Jun 6, 2017
    • Jun 5, 2017 Change happens slowly, methodically, and daily. Most people refuse to accept this. Jun 5, 2017
    • Jun 4, 2017 Increased degree of difficulty is not appreciated Jun 4, 2017
    • Jun 3, 2017 Didn't exist in 2005 Jun 3, 2017
    • Jun 2, 2017 RIP Uncle Harry Jun 2, 2017
    • Jun 1, 2017 Resolution update: May 2017 Jun 1, 2017
  • May 2017
    • May 31, 2017 My friends know me better than I do. Also, my ophthalmologist doesn't know me at all. May 31, 2017
    • May 30, 2017 I don't like the way I look. May 30, 2017
    • May 29, 2017 Fear not. This is not an example of bigotry as I initially thought. It's simply stupidity. May 29, 2017
    • May 28, 2017 Our cats are not perfect. May 28, 2017
    • May 27, 2017 You're standing on a cliff, too... May 27, 2017
    • May 26, 2017 Ray of light May 26, 2017
    • May 25, 2017 Even in the darkest of times, you can find pinpricks of light. Here are a few from this week. May 25, 2017
    • May 24, 2017 "Begs the question" brings joy to my heart. Rarely. May 24, 2017
    • May 23, 2017 Worst obituary ever. Greatest correction ever. May 23, 2017
    • May 22, 2017 A simple explanation of public opinion May 22, 2017
    • May 21, 2017 Seven and counting... May 21, 2017
    • May 20, 2017 Be happy for rule breakers May 20, 2017
    • May 19, 2017 Baseball players are damn cowards May 19, 2017
    • May 18, 2017 The Moth: The Robbery May 18, 2017
    • May 17, 2017 Let's do this. May 17, 2017
    • May 16, 2017 I choose to remember by aunt Diane in a way I never got to see her. May 16, 2017
    • May 15, 2017 The Two-Day Rule: A means by which I have become more productive and trusted. May 15, 2017
    • May 14, 2017 Verbal sparring: Don't allow your opponent (Trump) prescribe beliefs to you May 14, 2017
    • May 13, 2017 One man. Two dozen women. A bunch of interesting questions. May 13, 2017
    • May 12, 2017 Shorter is almost always better May 12, 2017
    • May 11, 2017 Best tweet ever May 11, 2017
    • May 10, 2017 Incompetent, racist, or both? May 10, 2017
    • May 9, 2017 I don't like teachers who act like jerks May 9, 2017
    • May 8, 2017 I made an old lady cry. I asked if I was wrong. Readers responded. May 8, 2017
    • May 7, 2017 Things I Do #7: I cut corners May 7, 2017
    • May 6, 2017 My three greatest acts of storytelling cruelty May 6, 2017
    • May 5, 2017 How to improve church attendance May 5, 2017
    • May 4, 2017 I may learn to bake if it's always this cute May 4, 2017
    • May 4, 2017 Financial PTSD: The perfect description of a persistent affliction May 4, 2017
    • May 2, 2017 Fantastic or terrible? May 2, 2017
    • May 1, 2017 Resolution update: April 2017 May 1, 2017
  • April 2017
    • Apr 30, 2017 A strong opinion on the onion volcano Apr 30, 2017
    • Apr 29, 2017 Desperately seeking trouble Apr 29, 2017
    • Apr 28, 2017 Bad day Apr 28, 2017
    • Apr 27, 2017 I made an old woman cry. Was I wrong? Apr 27, 2017
    • Apr 25, 2017 Demanding "a seat at the table" doesn't strike me as very demanding Apr 25, 2017
    • Apr 24, 2017 I don't teach mindfulness. Don't ever accuse me of teaching mindfulness. Here's why. Apr 24, 2017
    • Apr 23, 2017 The law of choice in dating (and a call for the end of tribalism) Apr 23, 2017
    • Apr 22, 2017 Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend fan art Apr 22, 2017
    • Apr 21, 2017 The essence of a New England Patriots fan and a Bostonian in 5 tweets. Apr 21, 2017
    • Apr 20, 2017 School lunch shaming needs to stop. Simple solution: Adults need to stop acting despicable. Apr 20, 2017
    • Apr 19, 2017 The next time you need to go into battle... Apr 19, 2017
    • Apr 18, 2017 Warning: Women with handbags crossing Apr 18, 2017
    • Apr 17, 2017 A tribute to Carrie Fisher Apr 17, 2017
    • Apr 16, 2017 How Can You Help Students Cope With Getting College Rejection Letters? Apr 16, 2017
    • Apr 15, 2017 New policy: Transform a meeting into an actual meeting. Apr 15, 2017
    • Apr 14, 2017 Things I Do #6: I touch bricks Apr 14, 2017
    • Apr 13, 2017 The one thing about Sean Spicer's recent bout of stupidity that I haven't heard mentioned Apr 13, 2017
    • Apr 12, 2017 How to identify passive voice Apr 12, 2017
    • Apr 11, 2017 United Airlines is its own worst enemy. They need help. I have offered. Apr 11, 2017
    • Apr 10, 2017 People misspeak. When their words are bigoted or sexist, we automatically condemn. We should think twice. Apr 10, 2017
    • Apr 9, 2017 Current career listing: Perhaps you require my services and just don't know it yet. Apr 9, 2017
    • Apr 8, 2017 When I was my daughter's age, I did not know that the Supreme Court existed. Her knowledge is slightly more expansive. Apr 8, 2017
    • Apr 7, 2017 Decoding century labels shouldn't be this difficult Apr 7, 2017
    • Apr 6, 2017 Sleeping less is not the secret to my productivity. Television is. Apr 6, 2017
    • Apr 5, 2017 19 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was 20 Apr 5, 2017
    • Apr 4, 2017 Rogue One on VHS: A taste of the perfect childhood Apr 4, 2017
    • Apr 3, 2017 If your schedule your meeting for one hour, and then your meeting lasts exactly one hour, you have failed. Apr 3, 2017
    • Apr 2, 2017 Be happy. Judge on intent. Apr 2, 2017
    • Apr 1, 2017 Resolution update: March 2017 Apr 1, 2017
  • March 2017
    • Mar 31, 2017 Simplify your life. Just love everyone. Even if you're a bigot. Mar 31, 2017
    • Mar 30, 2017 When is complaining acceptable? Mar 30, 2017
    • Mar 29, 2017 My less-than-private, not-so-well-appointed office Mar 29, 2017
    • Mar 28, 2017 Moments like this make me think that perhaps there's a higher power after all Mar 28, 2017
    • Mar 27, 2017 We adopted two cats. Our kids' reaction was... unexpected. Mar 27, 2017
    • Mar 26, 2017 Meals on Wheels: My grandparents (and science) understand the importance for this program Mar 26, 2017
    • Mar 25, 2017 Beautiful but temporary: Why would an artist ever choose such a fleeting medium? Mar 25, 2017
    • Mar 24, 2017 A bunch of white men apparently too stupid to realize that they are all white men. Mar 24, 2017
    • Mar 23, 2017 Famous people who I've met thanks to storytelling Mar 23, 2017
    • Mar 22, 2017 The things kids say... Mar 22, 2017
    • Mar 21, 2017 Your compliments about physical appearance are meaningless. Try these instead. Mar 21, 2017
    • Mar 20, 2017 The 6 levels of humility Mar 20, 2017
    • Mar 19, 2017 What I try to teach my girls Mar 19, 2017
    • Mar 18, 2017 Change can happen quickly. If you allow it. Mar 18, 2017
    • Mar 17, 2017 I'm never this angry. I swear. Mar 17, 2017
    • Mar 16, 2017 Details matter. They matter a hell of a lot. Mar 16, 2017
    • Mar 15, 2017 Say no to "more details." Mar 15, 2017
    • Mar 14, 2017 It is only snow and nothing more. Mar 14, 2017
    • Mar 13, 2017 Stories are so damn important. Mar 13, 2017
    • Mar 12, 2017 End the scourge of the additional anus Mar 12, 2017
    • Mar 11, 2017 Rules of Self Praise by the Brilliant and Handsome Matthew Dicks Mar 11, 2017
    • Mar 10, 2017 Only in New York Mar 10, 2017
    • Mar 9, 2017 Michael Bloomberg on succeeding in business Mar 9, 2017
    • Mar 8, 2017 I broke my promise to my wife: The origin story of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs Mar 8, 2017
    • Mar 7, 2017 In case you missed it, an important comment from a reader Mar 7, 2017
    • Mar 6, 2017 I fear that this sentiment may be in short supply today.  Mar 6, 2017
    • Mar 5, 2017 Critics of food stamps need to experience a childhood of hunger Mar 5, 2017
    • Mar 4, 2017 A sign attached to a vending machine accurately describes the emotional state of many Americans Mar 4, 2017
    • Mar 3, 2017 Joy is the willingness to show your underwear on a roller coaster Mar 3, 2017
    • Mar 2, 2017 I failed the "Where do babies come from?" question, but only because my son is a biology nerd. Mar 2, 2017
    • Mar 1, 2017 Resolution update: February 2017 Mar 1, 2017
  • February 2017
    • Feb 28, 2017 Unfair assumption #30: CVS shopping carts were not made to be filled. Feb 28, 2017
    • Feb 27, 2017 Good ideas are a dime a dozen. Never settle. Feb 27, 2017
    • Feb 26, 2017 The Education Secretary is knowingly endangering children Feb 26, 2017
    • Feb 25, 2017 Tiny moments like this is why I teach Feb 25, 2017
    • Feb 24, 2017 I was stupid when I was young. Feb 24, 2017
    • Feb 23, 2017 The glory and might of a good old fashioned pillow fight Feb 23, 2017
    • Feb 22, 2017 Men who grumble about jeans and sweaters are stupid. Feb 22, 2017
    • Feb 21, 2017 The Internet has certainly evolved in the last 20 years Feb 21, 2017
    • Feb 20, 2017 5 things to remember when bemoaning the proliferation of casual dress in America. Feb 20, 2017
    • Feb 19, 2017 Trump called the media "the enemy of the American people." This could not be further from the truth. Feb 19, 2017
    • Feb 18, 2017 Three types of people who people hate Feb 18, 2017
    • Feb 17, 2017 Watch this. Feb 17, 2017
    • Feb 16, 2017 My daughter embraces respectful dissent and nonconformity. Even in the face of Trump. Feb 16, 2017
    • Feb 15, 2017 The real answer to "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Feb 15, 2017
    • Feb 14, 2017 Before you criticize the Superintendent for a snow day decision, consider this. Feb 14, 2017
    • Feb 13, 2017 Trumpian typos abound - and frighten me to death Feb 13, 2017
    • Feb 12, 2017 Brother and Sister Day Feb 12, 2017
    • Feb 11, 2017 Got kids? Here's how to turn them into writers. Feb 11, 2017
    • Feb 10, 2017 Follow this rule. Change your life. Feb 10, 2017
    • Feb 9, 2017 Victory brownies and the definition of fandom and friendship Feb 9, 2017
    • Feb 8, 2017 15 piece of advice from Elizabeth Sampat Feb 8, 2017
    • Feb 5, 2017 My daughter, the eccentric artist Feb 5, 2017
    • Feb 4, 2017 I spent $15,000 while I was sleepwalking. Feb 4, 2017
    • Feb 3, 2017 Verbal sparring: Never tell someone to do something that they can ignore Feb 3, 2017
    • Feb 2, 2017 The Lincoln Memorial. In blocks. Feb 2, 2017
    • Feb 1, 2017 Resolution update: January 2017 Feb 1, 2017
  • January 2017
    • Jan 31, 2017 9 Specific Steps to Standing Against Donald Trump Jan 31, 2017
    • Jan 30, 2017 A very sweet boy who wants to see your insides Jan 30, 2017
    • Jan 29, 2017 The 5 Stages of an Author's Reaction to Editorial Notes Jan 29, 2017
    • Jan 28, 2017 This hateful Muslim Ban must end now. Jan 28, 2017
    • Jan 27, 2017 I lost a "friend" this week in an interesting, baffling, and amusing way Jan 27, 2017
    • Jan 26, 2017 Something to think about as Trump closes our borders to refugees Jan 26, 2017
    • Jan 25, 2017 I'm fairly certain I would hate this person if we met Jan 25, 2017
    • Jan 24, 2017 One person is listening. Perhaps more, but at least one. I'm so pleased. Jan 24, 2017
    • Jan 23, 2017 Things I Do #5: We say my name first Jan 23, 2017
    • Jan 22, 2017 Psychology of true friends Jan 22, 2017
    • Jan 21, 2017 The Today Show: Educational television at its best Jan 21, 2017
    • Jan 20, 2017 Our President is a sex offender or pretends to be a sex offender. Jan 20, 2017
    • Jan 19, 2017 A short-sighted and fairly presumptuous name Jan 19, 2017
    • Jan 18, 2017 I might know more about education than Trump's nominee for Education Secretary. Jan 18, 2017
    • Jan 17, 2017 Find something to be this excited and happy about... Jan 17, 2017
    • Jan 16, 2017 Unfair assumption #29: Football fans are more effective in emergencies Jan 16, 2017
    • Jan 15, 2017 Springsteen on parents (and perhaps a path to my salvation) Jan 15, 2017
    • Jan 14, 2017 The best thing about my wife's family might surprise you (but shouldn't) Jan 14, 2017
    • Jan 13, 2017 Little Guy Defeats Big Guy Jan 13, 2017
    • Jan 12, 2017 Spare your parental advice unless you know how to give parental advice Jan 12, 2017
    • Jan 11, 2017 On rare and special occasions, darkness can breed such light. This is one such occasion. Jan 11, 2017
    • Jan 10, 2017 How many phone numbers do you know? Jan 10, 2017
    • Jan 9, 2017 The countdown begins... Jan 9, 2017
    • Jan 8, 2017 This correction could only be found in a New York Times wedding announcement Jan 8, 2017
    • Jan 7, 2017 Best introduction ever Jan 7, 2017
    • Jan 6, 2017 Some mistakes are larger than others Jan 6, 2017
    • Jan 5, 2017 This is the worst thing you can do to a storyteller Jan 5, 2017
    • Jan 4, 2017 Things I Do #4: I drive like a teenager Jan 4, 2017
    • Jan 3, 2017 In defense of editors Jan 3, 2017
    • Jan 2, 2017 A small bit of marital advice Jan 2, 2017
    • Jan 1, 2017 Dick Clark is dead. He is sorely missed. Jan 1, 2017
    • Jan 1, 2017 New Year's Resolutions 2017 Jan 1, 2017
  • December 2016
    • Dec 31, 2016 Resolution update: 2016 in review Dec 31, 2016
    • Dec 30, 2016 What is wrong with Queens? Dec 30, 2016
    • Dec 30, 2016 My 2016 Christmas haul Dec 30, 2016
    • Dec 29, 2016 Unfair assumption #28: Parents who threaten to disown their children based upon their marital choices are the lowest form of human life. Dec 29, 2016
    • Dec 29, 2016 In regards to Russian hacking: "I think we ought to get on with our lives." Also, word salad. Dec 29, 2016
    • Dec 28, 2016 Bottle flipping: I gave it a month. Here are my thoughts. Dec 28, 2016
    • Dec 27, 2016 "Merry Christmas" is perfectly fine. But the existence of Jews should not be a secret. Dec 27, 2016
    • Dec 26, 2016 The truth about red meat (and an ugly truth about me) Dec 26, 2016
    • Dec 25, 2016 Bruce Springsteen understands the cliff. Do you? Dec 25, 2016
    • Dec 24, 2016 When someone suggests that we give Donald Trump a chance, say this. Dec 24, 2016
    • Dec 23, 2016 Why I cry when looking at old photographs like this. Dec 23, 2016
    • Dec 22, 2016 If you forbid jeans at your place of business, you're not thinking straight. You might even be a coward. Dec 22, 2016
    • Dec 21, 2016 I went to the bathroom alongside a bunch of ladies, and something surprising happened. Dec 21, 2016
    • Dec 20, 2016 The perils of the road Dec 20, 2016
    • Dec 19, 2016 My problem with honorifics Dec 19, 2016
    • Dec 18, 2016 Driving in cars (and planes) with complete strangers Dec 18, 2016
    • Dec 17, 2016 Gas stations suck (at least in this regard) Dec 17, 2016
    • Dec 16, 2016 Truth about meetings (at least most of them) Dec 16, 2016
    • Dec 15, 2016 The three worst things ever Dec 15, 2016
    • Dec 14, 2016 My favorite sentence of the year Dec 14, 2016
    • Dec 13, 2016 Cousin Oliver sucked. Dec 13, 2016
    • Dec 12, 2016 This is a thing. Dec 12, 2016
    • Dec 11, 2016 Meditation and McDonald's Dec 11, 2016
    • Dec 10, 2016 One of the best comebacks I've heard in a while Dec 10, 2016
    • Dec 9, 2016 Trump's two possible views of sexual assault Dec 9, 2016
    • Dec 8, 2016 Dan Kennedy on life and the nature of success Dec 8, 2016
    • Dec 7, 2016 I drink Diet Coke. Now do me a favor and shut up about it. Dec 7, 2016
    • Dec 6, 2016 I fought off a pit bull in order to save my dog's life. This guy did one better. Dec 6, 2016
    • Dec 5, 2016 Daily affirmations don't work (for me, at least) Dec 5, 2016
    • Dec 4, 2016 Which is funnier? Saturday Night Live? Trump's response to SNL? Alec Baldwin's response to Trump? Dec 4, 2016
    • Dec 3, 2016 How I stand against the vile, intolerant, hateful speech and policy proposals of the President-elect (and how you can, too) Dec 3, 2016
    • Dec 2, 2016 A little spot of joy. Dec 2, 2016
    • Dec 1, 2016 Resolution update: November 2016 Dec 1, 2016
  • November 2016
    • Nov 30, 2016 How Can I Pick My Favorite Day? Nov 30, 2016
    • Nov 29, 2016 This is what the Democratic Party must do now to protect voting rights Nov 29, 2016
    • Nov 28, 2016 I thrive in possibly inappropriately competitive situations. Nov 28, 2016
    • Nov 27, 2016 My little boy is expanding his horizons. Nov 27, 2016
    • Nov 26, 2016 Melting ice sucks, but projectiles to the head are bad, too. Nov 26, 2016
    • Nov 25, 2016 Serious solution if Trump attempts to enact a Muslim registry Nov 25, 2016
    • Nov 24, 2016 No thanks to give on this Thanksgiving Nov 24, 2016
    • Nov 23, 2016 Deep thoughts in the early morning hours regarding an important consumer product Nov 23, 2016
    • Nov 22, 2016 Things I Do #3: I talk to dead trees. Nov 22, 2016
    • Nov 21, 2016 Republican Senators, Congresspeople, and interns have something oddly in common Nov 21, 2016
    • Nov 20, 2016 Humility is lovely and oftentimes lacking in this world Nov 20, 2016
    • Nov 20, 2016 A perfect explanation of our President-elect's thin skin Nov 20, 2016
    • Nov 19, 2016 Shakespeare's words seem rather appropriate even today Nov 19, 2016
    • Nov 18, 2016 Pausing the action preserved my chest, my career, and my freedom Nov 18, 2016
    • Nov 16, 2016 Books can change a child in unspeakable ways. Nov 16, 2016
    • Nov 15, 2016 Iguana vs. Snakes Nov 15, 2016
    • Nov 14, 2016 Seasons Up Close Episode 1 Nov 14, 2016
    • Nov 13, 2016 Donna Gosk stepped off the aircraft carrier. Nothing has been the same ever since. Nov 13, 2016
    • Nov 12, 2016 The Weird Book Room: The last place I want my books to end up Nov 12, 2016
    • Nov 11, 2016 The mix tape was something special Nov 11, 2016
    • Nov 10, 2016 Things I Do #2: I whisper the names of former colleagues Nov 10, 2016
    • Nov 9, 2016 The morning after, there is much to do. Much to remember. Nov 9, 2016
    • Nov 8, 2016 Tummy or vagina? Nov 8, 2016
    • Nov 8, 2016 These are times when your country should come before your brand. Nov 8, 2016
    • Nov 7, 2016 Things I Do #1: I routinely offer advice to houseflies Nov 7, 2016
    • Nov 6, 2016 Saturday morning reading material Nov 6, 2016
    • Nov 5, 2016 Unsatisfying Nov 5, 2016
    • Nov 4, 2016 I feel terrible for the Chicago Cubs fans, and for good reason. Nov 4, 2016
    • Nov 3, 2016 Pulling back the curtain on the translation process Nov 3, 2016
    • Nov 2, 2016 Ashes to dishes Nov 2, 2016
    • Nov 1, 2016 Resolution update: October 2016 Nov 1, 2016
  • October 2016
    • Oct 31, 2016 Worst Halloween treat ever Oct 31, 2016
    • Oct 30, 2016 Catholics should be able to scatter their ashes wherever they damn well please. Oct 30, 2016
    • Oct 29, 2016 My new TV gig Oct 29, 2016
    • Oct 28, 2016 Be happy for the good fortune of others. It's a happier and more productive way to live. Oct 28, 2016
    • Oct 27, 2016 Collaboration is great. Right? Oct 27, 2016
    • Oct 26, 2016 Put stuff on the Internet and watch what happens Oct 26, 2016
    • Oct 25, 2016 Random chairs in restrooms make me uncomfortable. Justifiably so. Right? Oct 25, 2016
    • Oct 24, 2016 Why should I experience unnecessary minor pain? Because I choose not to be soft. Oct 24, 2016
    • Oct 23, 2016 Professional Mini Golf: Competitive, cutthroat, and quirky? Oct 23, 2016
    • Oct 22, 2016 Wardrobe malfunction Oct 22, 2016
    • Oct 21, 2016 Great first sentences (and an analysis of the first sentences of my own novels) Oct 21, 2016
    • Oct 20, 2016 "Yeah, but..." Oct 20, 2016
    • Oct 19, 2016 Quite possibly Bruce Springsteen's most brilliant and perfect observation ever Oct 19, 2016
    • Oct 18, 2016 Unfair assumption #27: People who object to mothers breast-feeding in public are freakish, worthless prudes and more Oct 18, 2016
    • Oct 17, 2016 This Playmobil bicycle helmet does not appeal to me, and for good reason. Oct 17, 2016
    • Oct 16, 2016 How Poor Were You? Oct 16, 2016
    • Oct 15, 2016 Unfair assumption #26: Adults who drink milk are lunatics Oct 15, 2016
    • Oct 14, 2016 Sometimes a job is more than a job. Oct 14, 2016
    • Oct 13, 2016 This is more important than selling shoes and books. Oct 13, 2016
    • Oct 12, 2016 The Moth: The Promise Oct 12, 2016
    • Oct 11, 2016 Best insult ever Oct 11, 2016
    • Oct 10, 2016 Practicing your speech in front of a mirror makes no sense Oct 10, 2016
    • Oct 9, 2016 Confessions of a Patriots Season Ticket Holder: Seasons Fall 2016 Oct 9, 2016
    • Oct 8, 2016 Never in my life Oct 8, 2016
    • Oct 7, 2016 Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend fan art Oct 7, 2016
    • Oct 6, 2016 Get off my lawn! Oct 6, 2016
    • Oct 5, 2016 I run through grocery stores often enough that strangers have begun to notice. This does not make me crazy, even though some might believe otherwise. Oct 5, 2016
    • Oct 4, 2016 You see a leaf. I see something so much worse. Oct 4, 2016
    • Oct 3, 2016 Disillusioned by the Presidential election this year? Vote for Clara. Oct 3, 2016
    • Oct 2, 2016 It's true. I hate strangers because of what they love most. Oct 2, 2016
    • Oct 1, 2016 Resolution update: September 2016 Oct 1, 2016
  • September 2016
    • Sep 30, 2016 Twenty-five years spent standing in a parking lot Sep 30, 2016
    • Sep 29, 2016 Does the dog die? We need to know. Sep 29, 2016
    • Sep 28, 2016 An important lesson for all public speakers, storytellers, and the poor souls who must conduct meetings Sep 28, 2016
    • Sep 27, 2016 Four pieces of debate advice for Hillary Clinton. Someone please pass this post onto her people. Sep 27, 2016
    • Sep 26, 2016 Verbal Sparring: If you don't like it, leave. Sep 26, 2016
    • Sep 25, 2016 Unfair assumption: The more you have on your business card, the less I think about your professional ability Sep 25, 2016
    • Sep 24, 2016 Complimenting an item of clothing is the lowest form of compliment Sep 24, 2016
    • Sep 23, 2016 The first person to listen to my nonsense and predict that I would be a writer has passed away Sep 23, 2016
    • Sep 22, 2016 Write the thing that only you can write Sep 22, 2016
    • Sep 21, 2016 If you want to have a say in education, become an educator Sep 21, 2016
    • Sep 20, 2016 Policing the national anthem makes you a self-righteous jerk Sep 20, 2016
    • Sep 19, 2016 Styling advice from a fifth grader Sep 19, 2016
    • Sep 18, 2016 Shouldn't yellow raincoats the only appropriately colored raincoats? Sep 18, 2016
    • Sep 17, 2016 Water Street Bookstore appearance Sep 17, 2016
    • Sep 16, 2016 A trip to the plumbing store, because that's where all kids want to go. Right? Sep 16, 2016
    • Sep 15, 2016 Every time I tie my shoes... Sep 15, 2016
    • Sep 14, 2016 The Most Poorly Named Character in All of Literature Sep 14, 2016
    • Sep 13, 2016 Vincent Van Gogh on Doctor Who makes me cry. Sep 13, 2016
    • Sep 12, 2016 At last I am a Beautiful Person. Verified and confirmed by beautifulpeople.com. Sep 12, 2016
    • Sep 11, 2016 "Flesh" was a crayon color. Sep 11, 2016
    • Sep 10, 2016 First day of preschool apparently went well Sep 10, 2016
    • Sep 9, 2016 Unknown but brilliant Sep 9, 2016
    • Sep 8, 2016 Shortcomings and Flaws: 2016 Sep 8, 2016
    • Sep 8, 2016 I broke into the Brooklyn Navy Yard and committed a crime (I think) Sep 8, 2016
    • Sep 7, 2016 The bravest Sep 7, 2016
    • Sep 6, 2016 Book Club Adventures on Planes and Trains and Automobiles (sort of) Sep 6, 2016
    • Sep 5, 2016 I think my wife is hitting on me. Sep 5, 2016
    • Sep 4, 2016 I know way too much about boll weevils Sep 4, 2016
    • Sep 3, 2016 Preschool is destined to disappoint my son. Sep 3, 2016
    • Sep 2, 2016 "Baked in a buttery, flaky crust" Sep 2, 2016
    • Sep 1, 2016 Resolution update: August 2016 Sep 1, 2016
  • August 2016
    • Aug 31, 2016 A real life person signs my books as his fictional self, which sounds weird and is admittedly a little weird. Aug 31, 2016
    • Aug 30, 2016 The most astounding editor's note I have ever seen Aug 30, 2016
    • Aug 29, 2016 How Pokemon Go is a lot like Hee Haw, and how that should both relieve you and frighten you Aug 29, 2016
    • Aug 28, 2016 Kiss the Girl: The creepy, stalker, possible sexual assault version Aug 28, 2016
    • Aug 27, 2016 Damn Canadians are ruining my book. Aug 27, 2016
    • Aug 26, 2016 Guess which sister I taught? Aug 26, 2016
    • Aug 25, 2016 My daughter demands death. Aug 25, 2016
    • Aug 24, 2016 Where the hell is black? Aug 24, 2016
    • Aug 23, 2016 Mom and Dad had a reely big show last nite Aug 23, 2016
    • Aug 22, 2016 Five year plans are about five years too long Aug 22, 2016
    • Aug 21, 2016 The Moth: Two Little Jewish Dicks Aug 21, 2016
    • Aug 20, 2016 At least 3 reasons why you should never say "Wish me luck!" Aug 20, 2016
    • Aug 19, 2016 The Solar System. Obviously. Aug 19, 2016
    • Aug 18, 2016 7 things that we all agree should exist but still don't. Unless you're four years old. Aug 18, 2016
    • Aug 17, 2016 Country club dress codes treat adults like children, and yet adults continue to be members of country clubs. I don't get it. Aug 17, 2016
    • Aug 16, 2016 The life changing difference between "do" and "don't" Aug 16, 2016
    • Aug 15, 2016 If you ever wanted to be a receptionist, perhaps you should think again. Aug 15, 2016
    • Aug 14, 2016 If you have strong feelings about cargo shorts, then you are probably an infantile jackass. Aug 14, 2016
    • Aug 13, 2016 My son meditates. Seriously. How did this happen? Aug 13, 2016
    • Aug 12, 2016 I was a muffin who believed in miracles. Aug 12, 2016
    • Aug 11, 2016 The Universal Comeback (I think) Aug 11, 2016
    • Aug 10, 2016 Seeking submissions for my annual list of shortcomings and flaw Aug 10, 2016
    • Aug 9, 2016 I spent a week backing into parking spots to see if it made any sense. Here is what I discovered. Aug 9, 2016
    • Aug 8, 2016 The Peter Principle: Understand it. Aug 8, 2016
    • Aug 7, 2016 My children don't understand the purpose or use of a sofa Aug 7, 2016
    • Aug 6, 2016 The Moth: A Mop Sink and Maybe God Aug 6, 2016
    • Aug 5, 2016 How the Republican Party went from Lincoln to Trump Aug 5, 2016
    • Aug 4, 2016 I think my daughter is becoming cool. Aug 4, 2016
    • Aug 3, 2016 Unfair assumption: Leaders who park in their privileged parking spots don't get it Aug 3, 2016
    • Aug 2, 2016 How to Make a Tennis Ball (also it's impossible to make a tennis ball) Aug 2, 2016
    • Aug 1, 2016 Resolution Update: July 2016 Aug 1, 2016
  • July 2016
    • Jul 31, 2016 The Internet is kind and crazy and kind of crazy Jul 31, 2016
    • Jul 30, 2016 My son is ready for his next 15 minutes of fame Jul 30, 2016
    • Jul 29, 2016 The Moth: She Held My Hand Jul 29, 2016
    • Jul 28, 2016 Bill O'Reilly reminds us that the slaves who built the White House were "well fed and had decent lodgings," because why? Jul 28, 2016
    • Jul 27, 2016 Writing advice from a toddler that authors should heed carefully Jul 27, 2016
    • Jul 26, 2016 11 Absolutely Essential Rules for Restaurateur and Waitstaff in Child-Friendly Restaurants Jul 26, 2016
    • Jul 25, 2016 This simple bit of grocery store advice will spare you a lifetime of regret. Give you back hours in your week. Bring sanity back to your everyday life. Jul 25, 2016
    • Jul 24, 2016 A Series of Special Guests #9 Jul 24, 2016
    • Jul 23, 2016 Passion Lubes makes for outstanding reading. Don't deny yourself this joy. Jul 23, 2016
    • Jul 22, 2016 I don't label people as homophobic Jul 22, 2016
    • Jul 21, 2016 A decidedly less white bubble on the other side of the aisle Jul 21, 2016
    • Jul 20, 2016 Donald Trump. I told you so. Jul 20, 2016
    • Jul 19, 2016 Paul Ryan is a boy in a white bubble Jul 19, 2016
    • Jul 18, 2016 The Ground Round still exists. Apparently for the hipster cocktail crowd. Jul 18, 2016
    • Jul 17, 2016 Unfair assumption #25: People offended by factual corrections are brittle and lame Jul 17, 2016
    • Jul 16, 2016 Too Big an Ask Jul 16, 2016
    • Jul 15, 2016 July 15, 2006 Jul 15, 2016
    • Jul 14, 2016 The UK has a new Prime Minister. Unfortunately, it still has a stupid Queen. Jul 14, 2016
    • Jul 13, 2016 Five years ago, I took the stage and told my first story. The most important thing about that night: I was afraid. Jul 13, 2016
    • Jul 12, 2016 7 much-needed rules for golf according to me (which makes them absolutely correct) Jul 12, 2016
    • Jul 11, 2016 24 life lessons for my children (and perhaps for you) Jul 11, 2016
    • Jul 10, 2016 Advice from a mentor from 21 years ago that I continues to guide my life today Jul 10, 2016
    • Jul 9, 2016 Unfair assumption #24: Your knowledge of the Supreme Court says a lot about you. Jul 9, 2016
    • Jul 8, 2016 Children sleeping in their parent's room: I had strong opinions before I had kids. The results are now in. Jul 8, 2016
    • Jul 7, 2016 My kind of princess Jul 7, 2016
    • Jul 6, 2016 Perhaps a near-death experience is a good thing. At least one therapist seems to think so. Jul 6, 2016
    • Jul 5, 2016 Don't name your child Brenden. I mean Brandon. Jul 5, 2016
    • Jul 4, 2016 Unfair assumption #23: People who water their lawns themselves are aggressively anti-efficient and supremely uninteresting Jul 4, 2016
    • Jul 3, 2016 The Portland 54: Embrace uncertainty Jul 3, 2016
    • Jul 2, 2016 This sign is decidedly less specific than it needs to be Jul 2, 2016
    • Jul 1, 2016 Resolution Update: June 2016 plus midyear assessment Jul 1, 2016
  • June 2016
    • Jun 30, 2016 Simple. Hilarious. Makes stupid people look stupid. Everything I want in a two minute video. Jun 30, 2016
    • Jun 29, 2016 This is the most inaccurate description of marriage I have ever read. I hope it does not describe your marriage. Jun 29, 2016
    • Jun 28, 2016 That ice cream shop that you think is "amazing" or the best? It's not. Jun 28, 2016
    • Jun 27, 2016 Unfair assumption #22: People who come from privilege who criticize those who don't come from privilege for their economic circumstances are stupid douchebags Jun 27, 2016
    • Jun 26, 2016 Something to make you smile Jun 26, 2016
    • Jun 25, 2016 The cough - not the sneeze - deserves the blessing. Jun 25, 2016
    • Jun 24, 2016 Paul Ryan (and the Democrats) need my help. I am waiting for their call. Jun 24, 2016
    • Jun 23, 2016 Four interesting facts about the song "Laid" that should not only be interesting to me (but probably are). Jun 23, 2016
    • Jun 21, 2016 My daughter outlines her position on the accumulation and distribution of capital in a market economy Jun 21, 2016
    • Jun 20, 2016 Four things about my children's childhood that I won't miss Jun 20, 2016
    • Jun 19, 2016 Best graduation cap ever Jun 19, 2016
    • Jun 18, 2016 So much beauty in just two minutes of video. You must see. Jun 18, 2016
    • Jun 17, 2016 "Third verse same as the first" is stupid and annoying Jun 17, 2016
    • Jun 16, 2016 The world's first decent veggie burger. Not really because it's still a veggie burger, but better. Jun 16, 2016
    • Jun 15, 2016 My son has become a non-stop death machine. Jun 15, 2016
    • Jun 14, 2016 Staging your home for sale is stupid and self-destructive. Kind of like lipstick. We must end the insanity. Jun 14, 2016
    • Jun 13, 2016 The likelihood that your gossip and behind-the-back cruelty will be exposed, expressed in percentages Jun 13, 2016
    • Jun 12, 2016 A threat of violence, some moments of real sweetness, and a serious fear of hoes. Jun 12, 2016
    • Jun 11, 2016 Sometimes I think I'm living in a movie Jun 11, 2016
    • Jun 10, 2016 13 Rules for an Effective (and Perhaps Even Inspiring) Commencement Address Jun 10, 2016
    • Jun 9, 2016 Be calm. Jun 9, 2016
    • Jun 8, 2016 Review of Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend (and my name change) Jun 8, 2016
    • Jun 7, 2016 Go to The Moth and tell a story. And not "someday." Go soon. Jun 7, 2016
    • Jun 6, 2016 I have discovered what women look for in a man Jun 6, 2016
    • Jun 5, 2016 She would not be happy on a skateboard, but these kids are. Jun 5, 2016
    • Jun 4, 2016 Perilous Pizza: The Cook's Cook June/July 2016 edition Jun 4, 2016
    • Jun 3, 2016 Dance Recitals: The Joy and the Horror Jun 3, 2016
    • Jun 3, 2016 "Just about everybody" I know is not flying on a plane this summer, and to assume otherwise might be an indication of the bubble you live inside. Jun 3, 2016
    • Jun 2, 2016 Telling tales: A profile Jun 2, 2016
    • Jun 2, 2016 Teachers must stop assigning problems to students in math class, but apparently they need to stop assigning equations, too. Jun 2, 2016
    • Jun 1, 2016 Resolution update: May 2016 Jun 1, 2016
  • May 2016
    • May 31, 2016 My first comic books. Too bad I can't show my kids. Or my students. Or anyone squeamish. May 31, 2016
    • May 30, 2016 One of the most remarkable pieces of writing in New York Times history - for reasons that will surprise you May 30, 2016
    • May 29, 2016 Bill Gates: 5 Books to Read This Summer May 29, 2016
    • May 28, 2016 Three shows that every married couple should be watching - and why this is dumb advice May 28, 2016
    • May 27, 2016 #Biblebuffet May 27, 2016
    • May 26, 2016 I hate meetings this much. May 26, 2016
    • May 25, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 28 - Going gray, the reading habits of men, and infertility May 25, 2016
    • May 25, 2016 In need of a little quiet May 25, 2016
    • May 24, 2016 Teachers: Stop assigning word problems. It's a problem. May 24, 2016
    • May 23, 2016 In favor of simplicty May 23, 2016
    • May 22, 2016 If I could travel to the past, 13 things I would do differently (without risking my current existence) May 22, 2016
    • May 21, 2016 How I don't write May 21, 2016
    • May 20, 2016 TEDxTheCountrySchool: Speak Less. Expect More. May 20, 2016
    • May 19, 2016 Cold, hard truth from a middle school boy that explains why many people want to succeed but few do. May 19, 2016
    • May 18, 2016 Gender reveals: Another example of "Not every thing needs to be a thing" May 18, 2016
    • May 17, 2016 What is the longterm impact of not having the support of parents after high school? May 17, 2016
    • May 16, 2016 Stop it, teachers: 3 things educators must stop doing now. May 16, 2016
    • May 15, 2016 Questions asked so far this morning by my children (ages 7 and 3): May 15, 2016
    • May 14, 2016 These people don't know Jesus, and Jesus doesn't give a damn about toilets May 14, 2016
    • May 13, 2016 Reach out to a teacher. We want to hear from you. May 13, 2016
    • May 12, 2016 My former students discover that their teacher is still alive (and maybe doing cool things) thanks to The Moth May 12, 2016
    • May 11, 2016 This update to "Ironic" is a beautiful thing May 11, 2016
    • May 10, 2016 This hoodie is real. You won't think so, but I promise you. This is a real thing. May 10, 2016
    • May 9, 2016 Serious question: Why isn't religious hypocrisy used more often against the opponents to same sex marriage? May 9, 2016
    • May 8, 2016 After almost getting my wife nothing on Mother's Day, it turns out that I gave her a lot. The list is extraordinary. May 8, 2016
    • May 8, 2016 Where have all the rebels gone? May 8, 2016
    • May 7, 2016 Sometimes I think I live in "Leave It To Beaver" May 7, 2016
    • May 6, 2016 Harlem Knight Fight May 6, 2016
    • May 5, 2016 Kids are great, but they ruin everything. Especially your peace of mind about the future of the planet. May 5, 2016
    • May 5, 2016 Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend is a Nutmeg nominee! May 5, 2016
    • May 5, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 26 - Boy vs. Wife and Girl vs. Husband May 5, 2016
    • May 4, 2016 The worst person in the world May 4, 2016
    • May 3, 2016 The reverse nap. The Trump nomination. Female eligibility in the military draft. People thought I was crazy all three times. Now I get to say those four glorious words. May 3, 2016
    • May 2, 2016 When kids rule the world, it will be a fantastic place. But perhaps not always professional. May 2, 2016
    • May 1, 2016 Resolution update: April 2016 May 1, 2016
  • April 2016
    • Apr 30, 2016 Owen: 2000-2016 Apr 30, 2016
    • Apr 29, 2016 A broken lawnmower, a fifth grade boy, and CragsList.com make me wonder if God is real. Apr 29, 2016
    • Apr 28, 2016 A question I don't want my wife to be asked Apr 28, 2016
    • Apr 27, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 25 - Income in Dating, Mansplaining, and Tallywackers Apr 27, 2016
    • Apr 27, 2016 Firemen became firefighters. Penmanship became handwriting. Great. But there's one gender neutral word I can't support. Apr 27, 2016
    • Apr 26, 2016 #Biblebuffet Apr 26, 2016
    • Apr 25, 2016 Every thing doesn't need to be a thing Apr 25, 2016
    • Apr 24, 2016 From the mouths of babes... Apr 24, 2016
    • Apr 23, 2016 Opposing Donald Trump while defending one or more of his positions is not doubly odd. It's called objectivity. Apr 23, 2016
    • Apr 22, 2016 Mike Pesca's favorite sentences of 2015 (and mine) Apr 22, 2016
    • Apr 21, 2016 A fashion designer who doesn't know she's a fashion designer Apr 21, 2016
    • Apr 20, 2016 "Close to the chest" or "close to the vest?" The answer annoys the hell out of me. Apr 20, 2016
    • Apr 20, 2016 Seasons: Spring 2106 Apr 20, 2016
    • Apr 19, 2016 I've never done this medically inadvisable thing that you probably do often Apr 19, 2016
    • Apr 18, 2016 Boy in blanket fort offers lesson on happiness Apr 18, 2016
    • Apr 17, 2016 An important (and painful) lesson about the people closest to me and the things I write Apr 17, 2016
    • Apr 16, 2016 An important corollary on the two greatest super powers of all time Apr 16, 2016
    • Apr 15, 2016 When I watch children's television, I ask questions about fictional funding (or the lack thereof) Apr 15, 2016
    • Apr 14, 2016 A not-so-disappointing disappointing night at The Moth Apr 14, 2016
    • Apr 13, 2016 My wife doesn't jump into the shower with me on a regular basis, but this thing about her parents is a close second. Apr 13, 2016
    • Apr 12, 2016 Why I think professional wrestling is stupid Apr 12, 2016
    • Apr 11, 2016 The two best super powers of all time (one of them is not teleportation) Apr 11, 2016
    • Apr 10, 2016 Clara on Picasso Apr 10, 2016
    • Apr 8, 2016 The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs: The paperback cover Apr 8, 2016
    • Apr 7, 2016 My son, the storyteller. I had no idea. Apr 7, 2016
    • Apr 6, 2016 Possibly the perfect outgoing voicemail message Apr 6, 2016
    • Apr 5, 2016 #Biblebuffet Apr 5, 2016
    • Apr 4, 2016 internet at last Apr 4, 2016
    • Apr 3, 2016 #Biblebuffet Apr 3, 2016
    • Apr 2, 2016 TEDxNatick: Love Life Like You Are 100 Years Old Apr 2, 2016
    • Apr 1, 2016 Resolution update: March 2016 Apr 1, 2016
  • March 2016
    • Mar 31, 2016 The secret to great storytelling: Make the big moments incredibly small. Or find your tiny moments and tell just them. Mar 31, 2016
    • Mar 30, 2016 Roman creativity when it came to punishing those who murdered their fathers astounds me. Mar 30, 2016
    • Mar 29, 2016 If you're using The Bible to support your opposition to same sex marriage and transgender restroom choice, you're simply obsessed with penises and vaginas. Mar 29, 2016
    • Mar 25, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 20A and 20B - Twenty Questions Mar 25, 2016
    • Mar 25, 2016 My children are stars in an Instagram ad. Apparently the entire world has seen it. Mar 25, 2016
    • Mar 24, 2016 The Moth brought me and my elementary school principal back together Mar 24, 2016
    • Mar 23, 2016 The best worst magic show ever Mar 23, 2016
    • Mar 22, 2016 Four rules about being precious about your stuff Mar 22, 2016
    • Mar 21, 2016 Caught in the Middle: A musical filled with stolen words, purloined ideas, and personal philosophy Mar 21, 2016
    • Mar 20, 2016 You have to admire a true artisan Mar 20, 2016
    • Mar 19, 2016 Text and photo combo of the week Mar 19, 2016
    • Mar 18, 2016 A very special chair and a recommendation to librarians everywhere Mar 18, 2016
    • Mar 17, 2016 I found someone who thinks EXACTLY like I do. Almost as if I put the words right into her heart and mind. Mar 17, 2016
    • Mar 16, 2016 A peek into a typical day of our marriage Mar 16, 2016
    • Mar 15, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 18 - Pants, Lands End, and military service Mar 15, 2016
    • Mar 15, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 19 - Wedding proposals, politics, and frats Mar 15, 2016
    • Mar 15, 2016 Clara's best bad behavior Mar 15, 2016
    • Mar 14, 2016 The worst name for a food item in all of human history Mar 14, 2016
    • Mar 13, 2016 27 Things I Wish I Had Known 10 Years Earlier Mar 13, 2016
    • Mar 12, 2016 A famous writer and I agree on the worst part of sleep Mar 12, 2016
    • Mar 11, 2016 She wrote "No." My heart soared. Mar 11, 2016
    • Mar 9, 2016 Deep, scary, philosophical Star Trek thoughts. Mar 9, 2016
    • Mar 8, 2016 Few things are as bad as we want people to think. I think. Mar 8, 2016
    • Mar 7, 2016 There was a lot wrong with the 1970's, but these two things might have made up for it. Mar 7, 2016
    • Mar 7, 2016 My son has cleverly ensured future access to my phone Mar 7, 2016
    • Mar 6, 2016 A simple geographic reminder to those overly insistent, overly-aggressive people of faith Mar 6, 2016
    • Mar 5, 2016 Listen to this. Mar 5, 2016
    • Mar 4, 2016 Charlie's all-too familiar existentialist dilemma Mar 4, 2016
    • Mar 3, 2016 FYI: "Drives me up the wall" is an idiom. Mar 3, 2016
    • Mar 3, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 17 - Sexy voice, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model, and Cuddling Mar 3, 2016
    • Mar 2, 2016 This made me a little weepy. I'm obviously broken inside. Mar 2, 2016
    • Mar 1, 2016 Resolution update: February 2016 Mar 1, 2016
  • February 2016
    • Feb 29, 2016 People I don't understand: Motionless telephone talkers Feb 29, 2016
    • Feb 28, 2016 Star Wars will have gay characters. Bigoted heads presumably explode like Alderaan. Feb 28, 2016
    • Feb 27, 2016 Caught in the Middle: Our world premier! Feb 27, 2016
    • Feb 26, 2016 A rule for lifelong happiness: Stop begrudging the good fortune of others. Feb 26, 2016
    • Feb 25, 2016 #TBT - My first! Also, I finally understand what the hashtag means. Feb 25, 2016
    • Feb 24, 2016 Hidden gems on my daughter's bookshelf and in my teaching career Feb 24, 2016
    • Feb 23, 2016 The Moth: A Strip Club of my Own Making Feb 23, 2016
    • Feb 22, 2016 Not quite immortality, but 95 is a decent start. Feb 22, 2016
    • Feb 21, 2016 This history lesson is unlike anything I've ever seen before. YOU MUST WATCH. Feb 21, 2016
    • Feb 20, 2016 Don't speak to old people like they're children or houseplants, damn it. Feb 20, 2016
    • Feb 19, 2016 My son is starting to like Star Wars. Also, he calls it Star Whores, which led me to Ken and his dad. Feb 19, 2016
    • Feb 18, 2016 How I became a storyteller (and many other things) Feb 18, 2016
    • Feb 17, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 15 - Boy bands, men's grooming, and size matters Feb 17, 2016
    • Feb 17, 2016 Thank you notes: Should you send an email or write a note? Feb 17, 2016
    • Feb 16, 2016 Let languages die. Feb 16, 2016
    • Feb 15, 2016 Little Boy Wants to Read. Badly. Feb 15, 2016
    • Feb 14, 2016 This is exactly what you need to accomplish your goals. Nothing more. Feb 14, 2016
    • Feb 13, 2016 High ranking United States generals finally agree with me on the military draft - 21 years later Feb 13, 2016
    • Feb 12, 2016 Question: Which person alive today deserves immortality for the sake of future generations? Feb 12, 2016
    • Feb 11, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 14 - Girl Scout Cookies, Valentine's Day, and Schlongs Feb 11, 2016
    • Feb 10, 2016 Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, Starship and one unbelievably bizarre video. Feb 10, 2016
    • Feb 9, 2016 The two birthday gifts you should be asking for above all others Feb 9, 2016
    • Feb 8, 2016 I was bullied by a bunch of middle-aged pencil pushers. And it hurt. Feb 8, 2016
    • Feb 8, 2016 Impressive vocabulary and outstanding musical taste Feb 8, 2016
    • Feb 7, 2016 Two Divorces Too Many: Oldie but goodie pops up in an unexpected place Feb 7, 2016
    • Feb 6, 2016 Two Divorces Too Many Feb 6, 2016
    • Feb 6, 2016 Large, lumbering, white men playing basketball. Probably poorly. Feb 6, 2016
    • Feb 5, 2016 Embrace the snow day. The future is unknown. And possibly deadly. Feb 5, 2016
    • Feb 4, 2016 A simple and perfect solution to the "10 items or less" offenders Feb 4, 2016
    • Feb 3, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 13 - Disney Princesses, Modern Day Uniforms & Tighty Whities Feb 3, 2016
    • Feb 3, 2016 Enough power? Feb 3, 2016
    • Feb 2, 2016 "An urban community" is a far cry from eating paste Feb 2, 2016
    • Feb 1, 2016 Resolution update: January 2016 Feb 1, 2016
  • January 2016
    • Jan 31, 2016 My children take selfies now, and I'm glad. Jan 31, 2016
    • Jan 30, 2016 Richard Marx is trapped in my head, and I didn't even know it. Jan 30, 2016
    • Jan 29, 2016 The Name Game Jan 29, 2016
    • Jan 28, 2016 Three Things I Eat Oddly Jan 28, 2016
    • Jan 27, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 12 - The Rachel-less Episode Jan 27, 2016
    • Jan 27, 2016 A Giants fan enacts a random and nonsensical act of football hatred upon a Patriots fan Jan 27, 2016
    • Jan 26, 2016 Heart beeps Jan 26, 2016
    • Jan 25, 2016 Clara Susan: January 26, 2009 Jan 25, 2016
    • Jan 25, 2016 Professional Best Man (and the amazing things that have happened since I first proposed this job) Jan 25, 2016
    • Jan 24, 2016 Whitesboro: You will not believe that this situation exists. Jan 24, 2016
    • Jan 23, 2016 Football hurts me. Serious injuries. Still, who wants to play tackle football with me? Jan 23, 2016
    • Jan 22, 2016 Wonder Woman's invisible jet is stupid. Jan 22, 2016
    • Jan 21, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 11 - New Year's Resolutions, Driving, and I WAS GROPED ON THE POLAR EXPRESS! Jan 21, 2016
    • Jan 21, 2016 Losing can be so entertaining when it's not you. Jan 21, 2016
    • Jan 20, 2016 A washing machine, a trampoline, a brick, and a little bit of joy Jan 20, 2016
    • Jan 19, 2016 What is sexy? (according to Jerry Seinfeld and me) Jan 19, 2016
    • Jan 18, 2016 Butchers and doctors should not look alike. Jan 18, 2016
    • Jan 17, 2016 The "I told you so" calendar. Armed and ready for 2035. I can't recommend it highly enough. Jan 17, 2016
    • Jan 16, 2016 BCE and CE Jan 16, 2016
    • Jan 15, 2016 Finalized New Year's resolutions for 2016 (including three new goals) Jan 15, 2016
    • Jan 14, 2016 Rugged good looks. Beautiful wives. No java. Jan 14, 2016
    • Jan 13, 2016 Cruelest joke of 2015 involved a beautiful new baby and Bill Cosby Jan 13, 2016
    • Jan 12, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 10 - Three Mystery Topics Jan 12, 2016
    • Jan 12, 2016 Fruit Loop freak Jan 12, 2016
    • Jan 12, 2016 The strangest thing about the octopus. Jan 12, 2016
    • Jan 11, 2016 8 things I have never done that you probably have (now with the much-requested rationales behind each) Jan 11, 2016
    • Jan 10, 2016 Six things you have probably done that I have not. Intentionally. Jan 10, 2016
    • Jan 9, 2016 It's better to love because it makes you better than other people, which is extremely satisfying. Jan 9, 2016
    • Jan 8, 2016 Jim and Pam are still together. There is hope. Jan 8, 2016
    • Jan 7, 2016 The many faces of a little reader Jan 7, 2016
    • Jan 6, 2016 If you're going to disagree with the President, try not to be illogical while doing so. Jan 6, 2016
    • Jan 5, 2016 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 9 - The girl tax, chicks and dudes, and a lady's legs Jan 5, 2016
    • Jan 5, 2016 I celebrated my Christmas in the company of strangers Jan 5, 2016
    • Jan 4, 2016 Haiku Jan 4, 2016
    • Jan 3, 2016 My daughter needs to learn about Marc Antony. And I'm not talking about the singer. Jan 3, 2016
    • Jan 2, 2016 My 13 New Year's resolutions for the NFL Jan 2, 2016
    • Jan 1, 2016 New Year's resolutions: 2016 Jan 1, 2016
  • December 2015
    • Dec 31, 2015 Resolution update: 2015 in review Dec 31, 2015
    • Dec 30, 2015 A goal for 2016: An agreement that these parents are awful, disgusting, rotten people Dec 30, 2015
    • Dec 29, 2015 The big sleep is killing me. Dec 29, 2015
    • Dec 28, 2015 My daughter was annoyed with Mrs. Claus - and let her have it. Dec 28, 2015
    • Dec 27, 2015 The Moth: Death by Bee Sting Dec 27, 2015
    • Dec 26, 2015 My 2015 Christmas haul Dec 26, 2015
    • Dec 26, 2015 Awful Jeb Bush asks supporters for $25 in exchange for leaving them the hell alone. Seriously. Dec 26, 2015
    • Dec 25, 2015 How to be uninteresting with fruits and vegetables Dec 25, 2015
    • Dec 24, 2015 Jigsaw puzzles are a terrible, rotten, no good, very bad gift. Dec 24, 2015
    • Dec 24, 2015 I have a story on The Moth Radio Hour and podcast this week! Dec 24, 2015
    • Dec 23, 2015 An essential quote for parents and teachers who are struggling with discipline Dec 23, 2015
    • Dec 23, 2015 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 7: Babysitters, chivalry and taking out the trash Dec 23, 2015
    • Dec 22, 2015 A possible cure for writer's block Dec 22, 2015
    • Dec 21, 2015 I've switched from PC to Mac. I have six complaints. Dec 21, 2015
    • Dec 20, 2015 Tableside preparation of guacamole is stupid. For many reasons. Dec 20, 2015
    • Dec 19, 2015 Connor the Unicorn is missing. It's freakin' annoying. Dec 19, 2015
    • Dec 18, 2015 Goals for 2016: Tell me what to do. Dec 18, 2015
    • Dec 17, 2015 Target Practice - Seasons: Winter 2015 Dec 17, 2015
    • Dec 17, 2015 A whiskey ad, made by two amateur filmmakers, did this to me. Dec 17, 2015
    • Dec 16, 2015 This man could have been ripped from one of my novels Dec 16, 2015
    • Dec 15, 2015 Afraid of identity theft? Here's a simple solution: Lie Dec 15, 2015
    • Dec 14, 2015 TEDx Berkshires: Homework for Life Dec 14, 2015
    • Dec 13, 2015 TEDxNatick: "Live Life Like Your 100 Year-Old Self" Dec 13, 2015
    • Dec 12, 2015 Rose City Park Church: The sign is real, and the message is fantastic, despite my suggestions for revision. Dec 12, 2015
    • Dec 11, 2015 3 verbal tics that you must stop Dec 11, 2015
    • Dec 10, 2015 For the friend who has everything, the perfect holiday gift... Dec 10, 2015
    • Dec 9, 2015 The oddities of becoming a somewhat (but not famous) public figure Dec 9, 2015
    • Dec 9, 2015 Boy Vs. Girl - Episode #5: The Military Draft, Man Vs. Wild, and Grudges Dec 9, 2015
    • Dec 8, 2015 Hire this guy. And please don't do anything like this to my Wikipedia page. Dec 8, 2015
    • Dec 7, 2015 The Patriots lost yesterday. I'm a happy Patriots fan today. You should be, too. Dec 7, 2015
    • Dec 6, 2015 The Book With No Pictures: Best testimonial for the book ever Dec 6, 2015
    • Dec 5, 2015 Change can happen. Change does happen. You probably don't believe this. So let me show you this bicycle. Dec 5, 2015
    • Dec 4, 2015 My latest appearance on Mom and Dad Are Fighting: Discussing violent tragedy with children Dec 4, 2015
    • Dec 4, 2015 Perspective Dec 4, 2015
    • Dec 3, 2015 A simple test to determine if a food is objectively tasty Dec 3, 2015
    • Dec 2, 2015 Boy Vs. Girl: Episode 4: Barbie, Heels, and Penis Doodles Dec 2, 2015
    • Dec 2, 2015 The Moth: The Great Stargazing Betrayal Dec 2, 2015
    • Dec 1, 2015 Resolution Update: November 2015 Dec 1, 2015
  • November 2015
    • Nov 30, 2015 Naked booby traps: It's apparently a thing. Sadly, my wife is not involved. Nov 30, 2015
    • Nov 29, 2015 Four pieces of perfect truth on the nature of writing and work by Dan Kennedy Nov 29, 2015
    • Nov 28, 2015 The very best way to earn a dollar Nov 28, 2015
    • Nov 27, 2015 The secret to being brave - revealed by a six year-old girl Nov 27, 2015
    • Nov 26, 2015 Today I give thanks for something intangible and improbable and incredibly powerful Nov 26, 2015
    • Nov 25, 2015 My visit to Northshire Bookstore: Cakes designed to look like books and a mysterious comment left unexplained Nov 25, 2015
    • Nov 24, 2015 A theory on the funniness of people who routinely interrupt others Nov 24, 2015
    • Nov 23, 2015 Some days are just a "pants on your head" kind of day Nov 23, 2015
    • Nov 22, 2015 How I Let Down My Forever Friend Nov 22, 2015
    • Nov 22, 2015 An excellent explanation of Syria's war Nov 22, 2015
    • Nov 21, 2015 Millennials are living at home in greater numbers than ever before. Are they just overly indulged wimps? Nov 21, 2015
    • Nov 20, 2015 Stop saying that women are beautiful. Nov 20, 2015
    • Nov 19, 2015 I have seen the devil, and he looks something like this. Nov 19, 2015
    • Nov 18, 2015 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 3 - Gender-Neutral Bathrooms, Salutations, and Bathing Suit Bottoms Nov 18, 2015
    • Nov 17, 2015 Two death bed mysteries and one piece of death bed advice Nov 17, 2015
    • Nov 16, 2015 7 more ways that saboteurs attempt to destroy workplace productivity Nov 16, 2015
    • Nov 15, 2015 Underoos: Possibly inappropriate. Mildly exploitative. Creepy, even? Nov 15, 2015
    • Nov 14, 2015 My "Diet Coke and aggressive attitude" didn't exactly match the yoga aesthetic, but I somehow managed to fit in anyway. Nov 14, 2015
    • Nov 13, 2015 If only we all had this problem... Nov 13, 2015
    • Nov 12, 2015 100 Most Evil People Ever Experiment Nov 12, 2015
    • Nov 11, 2015 The truth will set you free Nov 11, 2015
    • Nov 11, 2015 Boy vs. Girl: Episode 2 - Insult Culture, Female Sports Fans, and the Need for Snuggies Nov 11, 2015
    • Nov 10, 2015 Would it be wrong for me to encourage my students to memorize this? Nov 10, 2015
    • Nov 9, 2015 There are saboteurs in your organization, purposefully damaging productivity and morale. Here are 16 ways to spot them. Nov 9, 2015
    • Nov 8, 2015 It is strange that I love both of these things equally? Nov 8, 2015
    • Nov 7, 2015 A simple, secret strategy to handling rude people and achieving victory Nov 7, 2015
    • Nov 6, 2015 Charlie reads "I Want My Hat Back." And you will melt. Nov 6, 2015
    • Nov 5, 2015 The thing my daughter does for which I am most proud Nov 5, 2015
    • Nov 4, 2015 Boy Vs. Girl: Episode 1 of our new podcast launches today! Nov 4, 2015
    • Nov 3, 2015 The most difficult (and possibly inappropriate) question asked on book tour thus far Nov 3, 2015
    • Nov 2, 2015 A lesson on the importance of stakes in storytelling - Plus the story of the day I posed as a charity worker for nefarious reasons Nov 2, 2015
    • Nov 1, 2015 Resolution Update: October 2015 Nov 1, 2015
  • October 2015
    • Oct 31, 2015 My daughter's editorial proclivities bring me such joy for one special reason. Oct 31, 2015
    • Oct 30, 2015 This might be the worst deal in baseball history. Or at least the most ridiculous. Oct 30, 2015
    • Oct 29, 2015 Hindsight is rarely 20/20, so stop saying otherwise. Oct 29, 2015
    • Oct 28, 2015 We encourage children to seek truth and knowledge in this world except when it comes to this. Oct 28, 2015
    • Oct 27, 2015 Look what you can do with a full head of hair. Oct 27, 2015
    • Oct 26, 2015 Verbal sparring: "A bad day" is not an excuse to behave badly. Oct 26, 2015
    • Oct 25, 2015 3 petty bits of nonsense that should never bother you (unless you are equally petty) Oct 25, 2015
    • Oct 24, 2015 Music is not the most important part of my job as a wedding DJ. Oct 24, 2015
    • Oct 23, 2015 My daughter betrayed me. I'll say it doesn't hurt, but truthfully, it hurts a lot. Oct 23, 2015
    • Oct 23, 2015 Is this real? Oct 23, 2015
    • Oct 22, 2015 Little girl makes little boy's dream come true. Oct 22, 2015
    • Oct 21, 2015 The Moth: Sex and Frozen Corn Oct 21, 2015
    • Oct 20, 2015 Management: Please stop signing your signs. It looks ridiculous and serves no useful purpose. Oct 20, 2015
    • Oct 19, 2015 13 Principles of Teaching Oct 19, 2015
    • Oct 18, 2015 A man who is proving that nothing is as complicated as people think or want it to be. Oct 18, 2015
    • Oct 17, 2015 5 new rules of etiquette in the digital world Oct 17, 2015
    • Oct 16, 2015 How to graduate with an Associate's, Bachelor's and Master's degrees without ever taking the SAT or completing a college application (or paying tuition!) Oct 16, 2015
    • Oct 15, 2015 First they dance. Then they attack. Kind of viciously. Oct 15, 2015
    • Oct 14, 2015 The worst thing about parenting just got a whole lot better. Oct 14, 2015
    • Oct 13, 2015 An observation about the movie Stormpiercer that will blow your mind. Maybe. Oct 13, 2015
    • Oct 12, 2015 Celebrating Columbus Day is one of the stupidest things that Americans do. Let's replace it with this amazing Russian holiday. Oct 12, 2015
    • Oct 11, 2015 My daughter has become a same-sex marriage activist and a storytelling promoter Oct 11, 2015
    • Oct 10, 2015 The conspiracy of the uninvited, unannounced pickle must end. Oct 10, 2015
    • Oct 9, 2015 I'm doing my first full hour onstage for the Pound Ridge Storytelling Festival on Saturday night. And I'm a little nervous, which almost never happens. Here's why: Oct 9, 2015
    • Oct 9, 2015 My daughter's amazing list of proposed weekend activities Oct 9, 2015
    • Oct 8, 2015 Announcing your goals makes it less likely that you will achieve them, but what if you're not an idiot? Oct 8, 2015
    • Oct 8, 2015 Hot Buzz for Books 2015 Oct 8, 2015
    • Oct 7, 2015 This is a contract from hell. Or heaven, depending on your current disposition and predilections. Oct 7, 2015
    • Oct 6, 2015 Sometimes a student writes a sentence that I wish I had written. This is one of them. Oct 6, 2015
    • Oct 5, 2015 I hit the greatest golf shot of my life. Then a squirrel did something even more amazing. Oct 5, 2015
    • Oct 4, 2015 The Gist: My Orange Thong and Lucky Star story Oct 4, 2015
    • Oct 3, 2015 I thought I became a teacher because I love kids, but it turns out that the real reason was far more selfish and insidious Oct 3, 2015
    • Oct 2, 2015 Resolution update: September 2015 Oct 2, 2015
  • September 2015
    • Sep 30, 2015 Unfair assumption #21: John Smith is not a good name Sep 30, 2015
    • Sep 29, 2015 Rumspringa: If only every parent possessed the open mindedness of the bad ass Amish Sep 29, 2015
    • Sep 28, 2015 My unconventional advice for the expecting parent (or the less experienced parent) Sep 28, 2015
    • Sep 27, 2015 Owl hunters interrupt fiction writer's flow Sep 27, 2015
    • Sep 26, 2015 My six-year old daughter understands the nature of religious texts better than many Republican candidates Sep 26, 2015
    • Sep 25, 2015 A character from The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs comes alive. Seriously. Sep 25, 2015
    • Sep 24, 2015 Pulling loose teeth just got more profitable. And strange. Sep 24, 2015
    • Sep 23, 2015 God doesn't want you to dress up in order to worship him. In fact, he would prefer that you dress down. Sep 23, 2015
    • Sep 22, 2015 My daughter's first homework assignment: First steps on a rotten road Sep 22, 2015
    • Sep 22, 2015 I want more politicians like this. Sep 22, 2015
    • Sep 21, 2015 Recommended Reading Sep 21, 2015
    • Sep 20, 2015 Brilliant use of chalk Sep 20, 2015
    • Sep 19, 2015 This video encompasses so many of my fears for my students Sep 19, 2015
    • Sep 18, 2015 My book launch party was filled with many surprise guests and references to Dungeons & Dragons Sep 18, 2015
    • Sep 18, 2015 Unfair assumption #20: The use of absolutes in combination with the personal pronoun is an intelligence and personality indicator. Sep 18, 2015
    • Sep 16, 2015 Productivity tip: Back up your phone, damn it. Sep 16, 2015
    • Sep 15, 2015 There are three incredibly stupid things wrong with this sign. Can you spot them all? Sep 15, 2015
    • Sep 14, 2015 Smart, book person and crazed football fan does not always compute. Sep 14, 2015
    • Sep 13, 2015 Verbal Sparring: Flip and Own Sep 13, 2015
    • Sep 12, 2015 Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend: Fan art Sep 12, 2015
    • Sep 11, 2015 Can't fight logic like this. Sep 11, 2015
    • Sep 10, 2015 They may be teenage boys, but they are also a couple of pathetic cowards. Sep 10, 2015
    • Sep 9, 2015 Publicity for The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs Sep 9, 2015
    • Sep 8, 2015 The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs: Pub day has finally arrived! Sep 8, 2015
    • Sep 7, 2015 Mashable on The Moth Sep 7, 2015
    • Sep 6, 2015 The worst thing you can say to a storyteller (you passive-aggressive douchebag) Sep 6, 2015
    • Sep 5, 2015 I blame my wife. Sep 5, 2015
    • Sep 4, 2015 How to Age Gracefully Sep 4, 2015
    • Sep 3, 2015 Audio excerpt of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs Sep 3, 2015
    • Sep 3, 2015 Booklist, Kirkus, and Library Journal review The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs Sep 3, 2015
    • Sep 2, 2015 My book launch party: Who's coming? Sep 2, 2015
    • Sep 1, 2015 I am not talented. I am only tenacious. Sep 1, 2015
  • August 2015
    • Aug 31, 2015 Resolution update: August 2015 Aug 31, 2015
    • Aug 30, 2015 My son says the funniest things. In retrospect. Aug 30, 2015
    • Aug 29, 2015 We The Stupid Aug 29, 2015
    • Aug 29, 2015 Creativity fail Aug 29, 2015
    • Aug 28, 2015 Mom and Dad Are Fighting: The Back to School Edition Aug 28, 2015
    • Aug 28, 2015 Three siblings. All hit by cars. It's weird. Right? Aug 28, 2015
    • Aug 27, 2015 How to make a reader in one easy, high effective step Aug 27, 2015
    • Aug 26, 2015 The hardest part about my visit to Brazil Aug 26, 2015
    • Aug 25, 2015 A possibly faceitious question about his penis Aug 25, 2015
    • Aug 24, 2015 Shortcomings and Flaws: 2015 Aug 24, 2015
    • Aug 23, 2015 Dirt Mountain Aug 23, 2015
    • Aug 22, 2015 When in Brazil, go see Judy. Aug 22, 2015
    • Aug 21, 2015 Observations from a week in Brazil Aug 21, 2015
    • Aug 20, 2015 "Hate is a strong word." It's also not so strong a word. So let's stop saying otherwise. Aug 20, 2015
    • Aug 19, 2015 Reading & Writing podcast interview Aug 19, 2015
    • Aug 18, 2015 Five of my more anomalous wedding anomalies (i.e. strangest clients ever) Aug 18, 2015
    • Aug 18, 2015 Slate's The Gist appearance: Where to Find the Best Stories Aug 18, 2015
    • Aug 17, 2015 Lip-syncing made hilarious Aug 17, 2015
    • Aug 17, 2015 A hidden penis is always a problem Aug 17, 2015
    • Aug 16, 2015 My former students occupy such important spaces in my life Aug 16, 2015
    • Aug 15, 2015 Brazilian exit signs are unnerving Aug 15, 2015
    • Aug 14, 2015 When you're transmitting information to an audience, be entertaining. Even if it's simply a sign. Aug 14, 2015
    • Aug 13, 2015 The plague of the mason jar: Let us pray that it has reached its peak. Aug 13, 2015
    • Aug 12, 2015 How the brain got its name Aug 12, 2015
    • Aug 11, 2015 When it comes to Brazil, I am basically an infant. Aug 11, 2015
    • Aug 11, 2015 Best worst best interview ever Aug 11, 2015
    • Aug 10, 2015 Don't don't judge me. Aug 10, 2015
    • Aug 9, 2015 A terrible break in routine Aug 9, 2015
    • Aug 8, 2015 Whale watch was both perfect and perfectly disgusting. Aug 8, 2015
    • Aug 7, 2015 Can someone please explain these bumper stickers to me? Aug 7, 2015
    • Aug 6, 2015 Our babysitter is making me look like a bad parent Aug 6, 2015
    • Aug 6, 2015 Worst TEDx luck ever Aug 6, 2015
    • Aug 5, 2015 Productivity tip: 14 Reasons Why People Cannot or Will Not Delegate Responsibilities Aug 5, 2015
    • Aug 4, 2015 The three most confident words in the English language Aug 4, 2015
    • Aug 3, 2015 Single use restrooms in all public venues must be made unisex because not doing so is stupid. Aug 3, 2015
    • Aug 2, 2015 ESPN's Jason Whitlock asked a bunch of stupid questions about Robert Kraft, so I answered them. It's a good strategy when faced with dumb, rhetorical questions. Aug 2, 2015
    • Aug 1, 2015 Resolution update: July 2015 Aug 1, 2015
  • July 2015
    • Jul 31, 2015 One of the most horrifying and disgusting things that has ever happened to me couldn't spoil my day Jul 31, 2015
    • Jul 30, 2015 Sequel protection service: Alias Jul 30, 2015
    • Jul 29, 2015 How to annoy a child Jul 29, 2015
    • Jul 28, 2015 Even I was silenced by this horrific scene of sexism and misplaced cold drink cups Jul 28, 2015
    • Jul 27, 2015 “If you’re going to have a difficult life, it might as well be childhood, since it’s so short” might be the dumbest thing ever said. Jul 27, 2015
    • Jul 26, 2015 My daughter manages money better than most Americans. And unlike me, her savings weren't eaten by a dog named after a video game. Jul 26, 2015
    • Jul 25, 2015 I hate this kid. Jul 25, 2015
    • Jul 24, 2015 This phone call apparently went well. Jul 24, 2015
    • Jul 24, 2015 Half years are stupid. Jul 24, 2015
    • Jul 23, 2015 Clara's Mid-Summer Bucket List Jul 23, 2015
    • Jul 22, 2015 Are you faithful to your spouse? It's less common than you might think. Jul 22, 2015
    • Jul 21, 2015 A simple solution for Scott Walker's uncertainty Jul 21, 2015
    • Jul 20, 2015 The best marital advice you'll ever receive (and some thoughts on same sex marriage, too) Jul 20, 2015
    • Jul 19, 2015 Brace yourself for the cutest thing EVER (not one bit of hyperbole) Jul 19, 2015
    • Jul 18, 2015 Dentists need to tell stories, or they will end up with people like me in their chairs. Jul 18, 2015
    • Jul 17, 2015 The next time you see or hear a story about the British royalty, I suggest this response: Jul 17, 2015
    • Jul 16, 2015 First review of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs arrives! Jul 16, 2015
    • Jul 16, 2015 Don Featherstone was an interesting man for at least two reasons. Also, the mysteries of 57 and matchy-matchy remain unsolved, and it's really bothering me. Jul 16, 2015
    • Jul 15, 2015 A brilliant app idea that I'm giving away for free. Take it. Make it. I'll be your first customer. Jul 15, 2015
    • Jul 14, 2015 If I ruled the world, here are 11 laws that I would immediately enact. Jul 14, 2015
    • Jul 13, 2015 THE GREATEST APP RECOMMENDATION OF ALL TIME: Wakie Jul 13, 2015
    • Jul 12, 2015 Some fun facts are just facts Jul 12, 2015
    • Jul 11, 2015 There are so many things wrong with this sign. Jul 11, 2015
    • Jul 10, 2015 Naked clog fighting. Let me say that again: NAKED CLOG FIGHTING. Jul 10, 2015
    • Jul 10, 2015 A restroom puzzle: How exactly is this configuration of toilets supposed to work? Jul 10, 2015
    • Jul 9, 2015 Watching "Jaws" while floating in a murky pond at night helps explain why storytelling continues to gain in popularity Jul 9, 2015
    • Jul 8, 2015 Why I choose to write in McDonald's Jul 8, 2015
    • Jul 7, 2015 Sticks & Stones made it to the stage! I could not have done it alone. Jul 7, 2015
    • Jul 6, 2015 Five important questions to ask about a religion before joining (or choosing to remain a member) Jul 6, 2015
    • Jul 5, 2015 Would you share your toothbrush with a loved one? Or anyone? Jul 5, 2015
    • Jul 4, 2015 Tennis balls are almost entirely flattened when struck by a racquet Jul 4, 2015
    • Jul 3, 2015 This thing exists. Jul 3, 2015
    • Jul 3, 2015 6 thoughts about this crazy-ass video from CatholicVote.org Jul 3, 2015
    • Jul 2, 2015 The Moth makes it into the pages of Newsweek, and I play a teeny tiny role. Jul 2, 2015
    • Jul 2, 2015 Republicans run the risk of becoming the latest version of George Wallace Jul 2, 2015
    • Jul 1, 2015 I hate broccoli and kale and cabbage, and the reason is science. Maybe. Jul 1, 2015
  • June 2015
    • Jun 30, 2015 If you want us to be quiet, please ask quietly. Jun 30, 2015
    • Jun 30, 2015 Resolution update June 2015 Jun 30, 2015
    • Jun 29, 2015 "Bigot" is a strong word to label a person opposed to same sex marriage. Is it the correct word? Jun 29, 2015
    • Jun 28, 2015 The truth behind Gilligan's Island is AMAZING. Jun 28, 2015
    • Jun 27, 2015 Apple's desire to eliminate as many ports as possible on their laptops may be aesthetically pleasing, but it's also a pain in the ass. Jun 27, 2015
    • Jun 27, 2015 Bad week for bigots. Good week for progressives. Conservatives? It depends. Jun 27, 2015
    • Jun 26, 2015 I scheduled my book launch party on Rosh Hashanah for one very good reason. Jun 26, 2015
    • Jun 25, 2015 If I can't have actual immortality, this would be an acceptable alternative: Jun 25, 2015
    • Jun 24, 2015 I expected to annoy a lot of readers, but I wrote it anyway. Jun 24, 2015
    • Jun 23, 2015 Best compliments of my life, including an addition to the list. You, too, should keep a list. Jun 23, 2015
    • Jun 23, 2015 This kid might be too relaxed. Jun 23, 2015
    • Jun 22, 2015 Creativity is collaboration. As a storyteller, I stand on the shoulders of real life storytelling ninjas. Jun 22, 2015
    • Jun 21, 2015 I taught my son to pee on a tree. Is this normal? Jun 21, 2015
    • Jun 21, 2015 Super model in training Jun 21, 2015
    • Jun 20, 2015 First and last day of kindergarten Jun 20, 2015
    • Jun 20, 2015 Instead of spending money in an unsafe, unfair Why not just manicure and pedicure each other? Jun 20, 2015
    • Jun 19, 2015 Immaturity: A teacher's greatest weapon (according to at least one student) Jun 19, 2015
    • Jun 18, 2015 Stop saying that girls are sporty, girls. Jun 18, 2015
    • Jun 17, 2015 The next time it rains, don't complain. Do this. Jun 17, 2015
    • Jun 16, 2015 Always calling for Mommy, even though she has ignored him almost every time Jun 16, 2015
    • Jun 15, 2015 We don't roll down our car windows anymore. What the hell are my children going to do? Jun 15, 2015
    • Jun 14, 2015 My son has no faith in me. Jun 14, 2015
    • Jun 14, 2015 I'm willing to reboot Lost, absent the stupid parts. Jun 14, 2015
    • Jun 13, 2015 No TV since 1990 is no loss Jun 13, 2015
    • Jun 12, 2015 Starbucks: Hate the product. Love the company. Jun 12, 2015
    • Jun 11, 2015 Innocent enough to believe in "leap-whale" Jun 11, 2015
    • Jun 11, 2015 Dear real estate agents: They're just houses. Jun 11, 2015
    • Jun 10, 2015 Sometimes the removal of a single piece can change everything Jun 10, 2015
    • Jun 9, 2015 The perfect in-law apartment. Or spare room. Or home for your millennial who flunked out of college or can't find a job "in his field." Jun 9, 2015
    • Jun 9, 2015 This movie looks great, but I'm sure the book was better Jun 9, 2015
    • Jun 8, 2015 Finding common ground with a reasonable, albeit bigoted, pastor Jun 8, 2015
    • Jun 7, 2015 This makes no sense to me. You? Jun 7, 2015
    • Jun 6, 2015 Goodnight Moon: Supporting drug use and attempted kidnapping Jun 6, 2015
    • Jun 6, 2015 The Connecticut Forum: Backstage with the Creators of Serial Jun 6, 2015
    • Jun 5, 2015 I was hoping for funny and embarrassing. Instead, I got one of the most amazing videos I have ever seen. Jun 5, 2015
    • Jun 4, 2015 The dark, incestuous side of The Brady Bunch, including dog collars and nails Jun 4, 2015
    • Jun 4, 2015 Possible (and recommended) bookshelf goal Jun 4, 2015
    • Jun 3, 2015 12 Popular Things That I've Never Done Jun 3, 2015
    • Jun 2, 2015 Is it really so hard to imagine Jesus supporting same sex marriage? Jun 2, 2015
    • Jun 1, 2015 Resolution update: May 2015 Jun 1, 2015
  • May 2015
    • May 31, 2015 The Nazis were evil, but this Disney film is insane May 31, 2015
    • May 30, 2015 Ask a Teacher: Do You Teach to the Test? May 30, 2015
    • May 30, 2015 I weep for this woman. Her husband is so sweet. And also a monster. May 30, 2015
    • May 29, 2015 Bad decision by this teacher, but not for the reasons you might suspect. May 29, 2015
    • May 28, 2015 The world lost an elementary school custodian yesterday, and a better man than most. May 28, 2015
    • May 27, 2015 Want to be funny? Want to make people laugh? Tell a story. In the right sort of venue. With the right number of people. May 27, 2015
    • May 26, 2015 My position on gossip is potentially divisive and possibly offensive, except that I guess it's not. Huzzah! May 26, 2015
    • May 25, 2015 My minimalist hero and my possible desire to radically reduce my wardrobe May 25, 2015
    • May 24, 2015 Listen to me talk about storytelling and teaching instead of reading my words May 24, 2015
    • May 23, 2015 I wore jeans to a $25,000 a table gala and something surprising happened, as it often does when I am under-dressed. May 23, 2015
    • May 22, 2015 Wine snobbery debunked. May 22, 2015
    • May 21, 2015 My son is an overnight bully. Also, he apparently has superhuman strength. May 21, 2015
    • May 20, 2015 I would make the same face if forced to eat avocados May 20, 2015
    • May 19, 2015 Why was this second grader drinking a beer, and why did I allow it? May 19, 2015
    • May 18, 2015 5 Quick Productivity Tips May 18, 2015
    • May 17, 2015 A dance recital freak show, including marital discord, a gangrene foot, and a woman mistaking a children's dance recital for a dance party May 17, 2015
    • May 16, 2015 Angry Bear Versus Little Girl: A Haiku May 16, 2015
    • May 15, 2015 My daughter got in trouble at school, and I'm so glad. May 15, 2015
    • May 14, 2015 Sequel Protection Service: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom May 14, 2015
    • May 13, 2015 No photo like this exists of my sister and me. May 13, 2015
    • May 12, 2015 The question most frequently asked of me while I sign my name May 12, 2015
    • May 11, 2015 A signed copy of Shakespeare's King Lear May 11, 2015
    • May 10, 2015 If you have issues with Mother's Day, for whatever reason, please consider these two words or these six words. May 10, 2015
    • May 9, 2015 I wonder if Beyonce started this way? May 9, 2015
    • May 8, 2015 I have discovered the secret to a happy marriage. Seriously. May 8, 2015
    • May 8, 2015 The joyous and much anticipated arrival of the garbage truck May 8, 2015
    • May 7, 2015 "I have no gay friends," is perhaps an indicator of one of three things: May 7, 2015
    • May 6, 2015 At last! My chance to take the stage with a professional Shakespearean company in a performance of Hamlet. May 6, 2015
    • May 6, 2015 Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend fans: Look what Mrs. Gosk gave me! May 6, 2015
    • May 5, 2015 Not the expression I want to see when someone is looking at my penis. May 5, 2015
    • May 4, 2015 My inlaws introduced me to a new concept: Combination babysitting and home improvement services May 4, 2015
    • May 3, 2015 Booktopia: The Final Chapter, and the mess that is me. May 3, 2015
    • May 3, 2015 The most impressive thing my daughter has ever done May 3, 2015
    • May 2, 2015 I won a Moth StorySLAM and made history. May 2, 2015
    • May 2, 2015 Bio-breaks must stop now. May 2, 2015
    • May 1, 2015 This still exists, and it's so stupid. May 1, 2015
    • May 1, 2015 Resolution update: April 2015 May 1, 2015
  • April 2015
    • Apr 30, 2015 The right way for kids to do iPad Apr 30, 2015
    • Apr 30, 2015 I was spoiled by sandwich meat. Apr 30, 2015
    • Apr 29, 2015 Off the blog reading: Father's Day Crushes Mother's Day and Re-Imagining the Author Talk in 3 Parts Apr 29, 2015
    • Apr 29, 2015 Was 1991 as oddly pink and patriotic as this Sizzler video implies? Apr 29, 2015
    • Apr 28, 2015 My son is being abused by his sister and he doesn't even know it. Apr 28, 2015
    • Apr 28, 2015 Presidential Job Application Question #7 (with my answer): Tell us a joke. Apr 28, 2015
    • Apr 27, 2015 Presidential Job Application Question #6 (with my answer): What historical presidential moment tells us the most about your vision of the office? Apr 27, 2015
    • Apr 27, 2015 My daughter's position on makeup makes a hell of a lot of sense Apr 27, 2015
    • Apr 26, 2015 Do you know how to play Sandwich Man? Apr 26, 2015
    • Apr 26, 2015 Presidential Job Application Question #5 (with my answer): What experience have you had that will serve you well as president? Apr 26, 2015
    • Apr 25, 2015 Presidential Job Application Question #4 (with my answers): What’s your greatest governing triumph? Apr 25, 2015
    • Apr 24, 2015 Presidential Job Application Question #3 (with my answers): What’s your greatest political triumph? Apr 24, 2015
    • Apr 23, 2015 Presidential Job Application: Question #2 (with my answer): What's the biggest personal crisis you’ve faced and how did you handle it? Apr 23, 2015
    • Apr 22, 2015 The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs: An expletive-laced mention in Library Journal Apr 22, 2015
    • Apr 22, 2015 Presidential Job Application Question #1 (with my answer): What’s the biggest crisis you’ve faced in your professional life and how did you handle it? Apr 22, 2015
    • Apr 21, 2015 Thought he was sick. Turns out he only wanted some attention. Apr 21, 2015
    • Apr 21, 2015 Marco Rubio: You can't claim to be young when your ideas are as old as dirt. Apr 21, 2015
    • Apr 20, 2015 What do tanning beds, mustard gas, and arsenic have in common? Apr 20, 2015
    • Apr 20, 2015 This was not a temper tantrum. This was Britt McHenry being Britt McHenry. Apr 20, 2015
    • Apr 19, 2015 Annoyingly cool Apr 19, 2015
    • Apr 18, 2015 This woman wears the same thing to work everyday. You should be as impressed with her as I am. Apr 18, 2015
    • Apr 18, 2015 This is why spell-check is my hero. Apr 18, 2015
    • Apr 17, 2015 Nice is anything but nice Apr 17, 2015
    • Apr 16, 2015 I think there might be something wrong with my daughter. Apr 16, 2015
    • Apr 15, 2015 My Professional Best Man career is officially launched Apr 15, 2015
    • Apr 14, 2015 Stealing Daddy's headphones Apr 14, 2015
    • Apr 14, 2015 3 Reasons Why You Should Never Send a Kid to a Dictionary to Look Up the Spelling of a Word Apr 14, 2015
    • Apr 12, 2015 Wedding advice: No impromptu toasts. Apr 12, 2015
    • Apr 12, 2015 Potty training in the modern world Apr 12, 2015
    • Apr 11, 2015 Dear Adam Cloud: “Yard Goats” is the definition of unique. Also, your argument that the name is offensive is absurd. Apr 11, 2015
    • Apr 10, 2015 A note to my children regarding the shame and embarrassment of 2015 Apr 10, 2015
    • Apr 9, 2015 Look! I Found the cutest thing that has ever existed on the planet! Apr 9, 2015
    • Apr 9, 2015 31 lessons I teach my students that aren’t in the curriculum Apr 9, 2015
    • Apr 8, 2015 Three sentences that everyone should say more often Apr 8, 2015
    • Apr 8, 2015 I like standing on walls and big rocks, too. Apr 8, 2015
    • Apr 7, 2015 “Spring is here!” roars these tiny, purple flowers. Apr 7, 2015
    • Apr 7, 2015 I want to be Jimmy Fallon Apr 7, 2015
    • Apr 6, 2015 Changes to this website and blog are coming. Thoughts? Apr 6, 2015
    • Apr 6, 2015 Legitimate complaints about the toilet Apr 6, 2015
    • Apr 5, 2015 11 thoughts on yesterday’s TEDxBU event, including observations from the restrooms and my advice for future TED speakers. Apr 5, 2015
    • Apr 5, 2015 Future CTfastrak spokespersons Apr 5, 2015
    • Apr 4, 2015 It’s a shame when people pose as Christians and give Jesus a bad name. Apr 4, 2015
    • Apr 3, 2015 One is the loneliest number, even if you’re an American Girl doll. Apr 3, 2015
    • Apr 2, 2015 Ladies: Leave my choice of winter clothing alone. I’M FINE. Apr 2, 2015
    • Apr 1, 2015 Little routines by little people that mean so much to me for reasons I can’t explain. Apr 1, 2015
    • Apr 1, 2015 Resolution update: March 2015 Apr 1, 2015
  • March 2015
    • Mar 31, 2015 If the teacher tells you that your child is not gifted, it’s more likely that it’s the teacher who is not gifted. Mar 31, 2015
    • Mar 29, 2015 Students were required to listen to Ted Cruz - under threat of fines - which seems just plain mean. Also agonizing. Mar 29, 2015
    • Mar 29, 2015 14 Things That Annoy Me (and probably you) Mar 29, 2015
    • Mar 28, 2015 The two reasons that people like foods that they initially despise are exactly the two reasons that I still don’t like those foods. Mar 28, 2015
    • Mar 27, 2015 I want this life. Mar 27, 2015
    • Mar 26, 2015 The author Julian Barnes would kill me, and defacing books is a terrible thing, but don’t you think this is also an AMAZING idea? Mar 26, 2015
    • Mar 26, 2015 My son’s excitement over a recent visit to the mall is slightly disconcerting Mar 26, 2015
    • Mar 25, 2015 Teachers of writing at any level: Read this immediately. Nothing is more important. Mar 25, 2015
    • Mar 24, 2015 I don’t know Kathleen Hampton, but based upon her lawsuit, I suspect that ‘entitled and insufferable” are likely descriptors. Mar 24, 2015
    • Mar 22, 2015 Is Ted Cruz really this stupid or is he simply pandering to idiots? Mar 22, 2015
    • Mar 22, 2015 Everyone deserves to have fans. Mar 22, 2015
    • Mar 22, 2015 The consistently late are the scum of the Earth. Here’s a simple strategy to avoid being late in the future. Mar 22, 2015
    • Mar 22, 2015 This is what happens after you behave well during your doctor’s appointment Mar 22, 2015
    • Mar 21, 2015 The Joyful and Effective Use of Condoms in the Latter Years of Life: My latest workshop Mar 21, 2015
    • Mar 20, 2015 A brilliant way to turn incessant texting into something splendid and amusing Mar 20, 2015
    • Mar 19, 2015 Today I feel like a real author – which doesn’t happen often – and not for any reason that you might imagine. Mar 19, 2015
    • Mar 18, 2015 This is the real reason you go shopping before a snowstorm Mar 18, 2015
    • Mar 17, 2015 Malcolm Gladwell on shorter attention spans, inherent unfairness, and the selfie. Mar 17, 2015
    • Mar 16, 2015 The single greatest death bed regret of Generation X (and maybe beyond) will be this: Mar 16, 2015
    • Mar 15, 2015 I didn’t respond to a stranger’s unsolicited manuscript for 48 hours, so his angry response was probably justified. Right? Mar 15, 2015
    • Mar 14, 2015 Sequel Protection Service: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (The Millennium) series Mar 14, 2015
    • Mar 13, 2015 A student wrote something that made me cry while reading it aloud. And thanks to the rules of my “Make your teacher cry” contest, my tears were caught on video. Mar 13, 2015
    • Mar 12, 2015 Outdoors at last! Mar 12, 2015
    • Mar 11, 2015 23 jobs I seriously considered at one point in my life (and still do with a few exceptions) Mar 11, 2015
    • Mar 10, 2015 Why do I blog? Because it’s nearly led to national television, and it still might. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Mar 10, 2015
    • Mar 9, 2015 12 Things Teachers Wish They Could Say to Parents Mar 9, 2015
    • Mar 8, 2015 One of those moments when I’m happy that I’m over 40 years old. Mar 8, 2015
    • Mar 8, 2015 50 Healthiest Foods of All Time: A large percentage are a mystery to me. Mar 8, 2015
    • Mar 7, 2015 19 things I heart right now Mar 7, 2015
    • Mar 6, 2015 A replica guillotine in the middle of a children’s museum? Mar 6, 2015
    • Mar 5, 2015 COVER REVEAL: The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs Mar 5, 2015
    • Mar 5, 2015 I am so proud and excited about the world in which my children are growing up. Mar 5, 2015
    • Mar 4, 2015 Curt Shilling is wrong about evolution, but his response to Internet trolls was commendable and enough to make this Yankees fan cheer. Mar 4, 2015
    • Mar 3, 2015 Nine rules for making you more efficient with email and less of a jerk face Mar 3, 2015
    • Mar 2, 2015 Less lecture. More learning. Mar 2, 2015
    • Mar 2, 2015 Mike Huckabee is a bigot still living in 1996 Mar 2, 2015
    • Mar 1, 2015 The McRib is super healthy and nothing like a yoga mat Mar 1, 2015
  • February 2015
    • Feb 28, 2015 Resolution update: February Feb 28, 2015
    • Feb 28, 2015 Cat Heaven snuck up on me and made me cry. Feb 28, 2015
    • Feb 27, 2015 I’ve found the next, great cereal spokesperson Feb 27, 2015
    • Feb 27, 2015 One of these words is not like the others Feb 27, 2015
    • Feb 26, 2015 Friendship Application 3.0 Feb 26, 2015
    • Feb 25, 2015 I won’t be reading my novel to my children. For a damn good reason. Feb 25, 2015
    • Feb 24, 2015 I have illogical affection for this. Feb 24, 2015
    • Feb 24, 2015 5 questions about the third line of James Taylor “Fire and Rain,” which will likely plague me until the end of days. Feb 24, 2015
    • Feb 23, 2015 Four things to consider before dating a coworker: An office romance with my future wife. Feb 23, 2015
    • Feb 23, 2015 Emergency and Evacuation Plan maps should not be designed to produce panic Feb 23, 2015
    • Feb 22, 2015 You’re allowed to sound this bad when you’re this cute. Feb 22, 2015
    • Feb 21, 2015 If you want to deny homosexuals the same rights as heterosexuals, you are evil. Feb 21, 2015
    • Feb 20, 2015 Just when you think that the boy is being dragged around by the girl, he asks the question that breaks my heart. Feb 20, 2015
    • Feb 20, 2015 Stephen Fry explains what he would say if he was “confronted by God” and nearly knocks the interviewer out of his seat. Feb 20, 2015
    • Feb 19, 2015 This is not a telephone, so how does my son know that this was once a telephone? Feb 19, 2015
    • Feb 18, 2015 It’s easy to criticize what people do. It’s often what people don’t do that matters more, yet these inactions are often ignored. So leave me alone, you inactive, moronic toadstools. Feb 18, 2015
    • Feb 17, 2015 13 thoughts upon seeing my son trying to be cooler than me. Feb 17, 2015
    • Feb 15, 2015 My daughter wished me luck before my most recent Moth GrandSLAM performance then promptly retracted it. Feb 15, 2015
    • Feb 15, 2015 The fallacy of private criticism and the mistake teachers often make when assigning consequences Feb 15, 2015
    • Feb 14, 2015 Novelist Jose Saramago quit writing in 1953. Part of me wants to reach back in time and hug him. The other part wants to smack him. Feb 14, 2015
    • Feb 13, 2015 The blend of happiness and sadness, pride and envy of the working day is easy on some days. Impossibly hard on others. Also, my son needs to get himself a job. Feb 13, 2015
    • Feb 13, 2015 It took this couple 8 years to say “I love you” to each other. It took my wife slightly less time to say it to me. Feb 13, 2015
    • Feb 12, 2015 In the unlikely event that my books, films, and musicals don’t make me a wealthy man, I have a back-up plan more than 350 people strong. Feb 12, 2015
    • Feb 11, 2015 There is no female counterpart to the word “guys,” and that is a tragedy. Feb 11, 2015
    • Feb 11, 2015 In the words of Budo… Feb 11, 2015
    • Feb 10, 2015 Best compliment of my life Feb 10, 2015
    • Feb 9, 2015 Clara’s sixth birthday. Make it stop. Feb 9, 2015
    • Feb 9, 2015 Death bed regrets revisited: 2015 Feb 9, 2015
    • Feb 8, 2015 Poetry memorization need not be boring or a waste of time. I have used it to make a woman swoon (possibly) and enact one of my greatest pranks of all time against a fellow teacher. Feb 8, 2015
    • Feb 8, 2015 Not nearly the late bloomer that his Daddy was Feb 8, 2015
    • Feb 7, 2015 The moment for which every author longs, experienced by my wife. Feb 7, 2015
    • Feb 7, 2015 Sleeping with goats on The Gist Feb 7, 2015
    • Feb 6, 2015 What’s the word for this feeling? Feb 6, 2015
    • Feb 5, 2015 My daughter is failing to follow in her father’s footsteps, and I am both thrilled and mystified. Feb 5, 2015
    • Feb 4, 2015 The tragedy of the philtrum: Join me in elevating it to its proper status in the American lexicon. Feb 4, 2015
    • Feb 3, 2015 Business Insider lists 9 unfair advantages that help people get ahead. I’ve benefited from 5. Physical attractiveness is not one of them. Feb 3, 2015
    • Feb 2, 2015 My wife’s text message in the closing seconds of the Super Bowl said it all. Feb 2, 2015
  • January 2015
    • Jan 31, 2015 One of the best nights of my life Jan 31, 2015
    • Jan 31, 2015 How to come off as an insecure douchebag Jan 31, 2015
    • Jan 31, 2015 Ugly people unite! Sometimes beauty can only be found in numbers. Jan 31, 2015
    • Jan 30, 2015 It’s your booger. Jan 30, 2015
    • Jan 30, 2015 Resolution update: January 2015 Jan 30, 2015
    • Jan 29, 2015 Speak Up is two years old! It began with a snow day and a simple question to my wife. Jan 29, 2015
    • Jan 28, 2015 Elsa just wants to blow me. Jan 28, 2015
    • Jan 27, 2015 Wanted: Photographs of sofas and slippers and well appointed thermostats. Please? Jan 27, 2015
    • Jan 27, 2015 This guy is too damn young to be teaching. Jan 27, 2015
    • Jan 26, 2015 Two important things to remember as the Blizzard of 2015 approaches Jan 26, 2015
    • Jan 26, 2015 30 lessons learned from six years of parenting Jan 26, 2015
    • Jan 26, 2015 Storytelling on The Gist Jan 26, 2015
    • Jan 25, 2015 Slate might actually be stealing my ideas. Not really, but you have to admit that it’s getting a little suspicious. Jan 25, 2015
    • Jan 24, 2015 The mindset of the person who affixes those stick figure family decals to the rear window of their car mystifies me. Jan 24, 2015
    • Jan 24, 2015 Love my readers Jan 24, 2015
    • Jan 23, 2015 My aunts and uncles were once young and strong and infinite. This is how I try to remember them even when the shadows of my ongoing existential crisis creep in. Jan 23, 2015
    • Jan 22, 2015 This is how I survive meetings. Jan 22, 2015
    • Jan 21, 2015 My friends are incredibly odd. Complete outliers. I couldn’t be more happy. Jan 21, 2015
    • Jan 20, 2015 How I teach storytelling Jan 20, 2015
    • Jan 20, 2015 I think my wife married me to compensate for her lack of a sense of direction. Jan 20, 2015
    • Jan 19, 2015 The best moment that I have ever spent at a football game. Maybe one of the best moments of my life. And it happened during a timeout. Jan 19, 2015
    • Jan 18, 2015 When do you allow your child to quit an activity? Also, entering into contractual agreements with your child is insane. Jan 18, 2015
    • Jan 18, 2015 A new definition for enthusiasm Jan 18, 2015
    • Jan 17, 2015 So much wrong with this photograph Jan 17, 2015
    • Jan 16, 2015 A perfect combination of glitter, revenge, and the US Postal Service: My kind of company Jan 16, 2015
    • Jan 15, 2015 Productivity tip #14: Start your day ahead of everyone else. Jan 15, 2015
    • Jan 15, 2015 Mystery behind this photograph solved, though the solution was fairly obvious. Jan 15, 2015
    • Jan 14, 2015 The Kindle’s beta version, perhaps? Jan 14, 2015
    • Jan 13, 2015 There’s nothing better than a little fire in your belly to keep you moving forward. Find something to hate. Jan 13, 2015
    • Jan 13, 2015 Insult advertising is the best Jan 13, 2015
    • Jan 12, 2015 Your future self wants you to be daring and adventurous. Don’t let the current version of yourself screw things up because it’s cold. Jan 12, 2015
    • Jan 12, 2015 My Story of the Day exercise will change your life. I promise. And you'll find a bunch of stories in the process. Jan 12, 2015
    • Jan 11, 2015 Productivity tip #13: Own one belt. Jan 11, 2015
    • Jan 10, 2015 Someone at Slate magazine has been reading my blog and stealing my brilliant ideas. Seriously. Sort of. Jan 10, 2015
    • Jan 10, 2015 My students chose mustard covered bees. Jan 10, 2015
    • Jan 9, 2015 Verbal sparring 101: Comparing apples and oranges makes a whole lot of sense. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Jan 9, 2015
    • Jan 8, 2015 Taylor Swift teaches a valuable lesson to all content creators. Jan 8, 2015
    • Jan 7, 2015 The prize for my latest writing contest is the threat of tears and possible humiliation. No wonder my students are writing up a storm. Jan 7, 2015
    • Jan 6, 2015 The Professional Best Man: A bride’s best friend, too. Jan 6, 2015
    • Jan 5, 2015 Stupid people think they’re smart, and smart people think they’re not. Most important: They can’t help it. This explains everything. Jan 5, 2015
    • Jan 4, 2015 Productivity tip #12: Embrace the imperfect. Jan 4, 2015
    • Jan 3, 2015 The Play-Doh sex toy was a mistake, but making a big deal out of it is much worse. Jan 3, 2015
    • Jan 1, 2015 A New Year’s resolution for all experienced parents: Silence the small, sad and stupid. Allow expecting parents to be expectant. Jan 1, 2015
    • Jan 1, 2015 New Years resolutions: 2015 Jan 1, 2015
  • December 2014
    • Dec 31, 2014 Resolution update: 2014 in review Dec 31, 2014
    • Dec 31, 2014 My highly improbable weekend Dec 31, 2014
    • Dec 30, 2014 I want to be overpaid. Dec 30, 2014
    • Dec 30, 2014 Best Christmas gift ever. Someone strongly hint about this to my kids when they are old enough to understand. Dec 30, 2014
    • Dec 29, 2014 Useless skills: Speaking and listening simultaneously Dec 29, 2014
    • Dec 28, 2014 How did television meteorologists become household names, and why can’t I name a single one of these guys? Dec 28, 2014
    • Dec 27, 2014 New Year’s resolutions work. Goal setting can change your life. Maybe not for losers, but you are not a loser. Don’t let the pundits tell you otherwise. Dec 27, 2014
    • Dec 26, 2014 My 2014 Christmas haul Dec 26, 2014
    • Dec 26, 2014 The cat peed and pooped and vomited on our Christmas preparations, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Dec 26, 2014
    • Dec 25, 2014 My daughter’s grandmother is sadly more Susan than grandmother Dec 25, 2014
    • Dec 24, 2014 Storyteller Interruptus Dec 24, 2014
    • Dec 23, 2014 Turns out that I’m quite the catch Dec 23, 2014
    • Dec 22, 2014 Another reason why I want a time machine Dec 22, 2014
    • Dec 22, 2014 If Newington, Connecticut ever wants a new slogan, it has many options, including a serial killer and a lot of coffee. Dec 22, 2014
    • Dec 21, 2014 “I checked his tushy and there was no poop anywhere.” Dec 21, 2014
    • Dec 21, 2014 Why it’s glorious to be a Patriots fan Dec 21, 2014
    • Dec 20, 2014 Seasons Magazine: My latest column on how real men don’t use snow blowers Dec 20, 2014
    • Dec 20, 2014 The girl rejected her mother’s culinary advances, but the boy could not resist Dec 20, 2014
    • Dec 19, 2014 Everyone is completely overwhelmed, except I kind of think that they aren’t and should reconsider their position. Dec 19, 2014
    • Dec 19, 2014 I guess I really, really, really love my wife. Dec 19, 2014
    • Dec 18, 2014 Santa Claus spent the day at an abomination of a grocery store, and he was BRILLIANT. Dec 18, 2014
    • Dec 17, 2014 Michael Lewis wants women to rule Wall Street. I would like to take his thesis about a million steps further. Dec 17, 2014
    • Dec 17, 2014 Another demanded apology that will likely go unanswered and is pathetic and stupid either way. Dec 17, 2014
    • Dec 16, 2014 Just when I start to become a cynical, entitled, unappreciative jerk face, Jenny Slate comes along and sets me straight. Dec 16, 2014
    • Dec 15, 2014 An elementary school teacher’s recollections from the day of the Newtown tragedy Dec 15, 2014
    • Dec 15, 2014 Who ever said that domestic violence and sexual assault are hard subjects to talk about? What’s the deal, NFL? Dec 15, 2014
    • Dec 14, 2014 Charlie found a whistle. And he was happy. Dec 14, 2014
    • Dec 14, 2014 Arrogance may be the perfect replacement to an extra hour or two of sleep Dec 14, 2014
    • Dec 13, 2014 I’m going to disagree with “I’m going to push back on that a little.” Dec 13, 2014
    • Dec 12, 2014 Life is good when you’re two years-old Dec 12, 2014
    • Dec 12, 2014 Kolf: Golf played on ice. And yes, we're going to play it. Dec 12, 2014
    • Dec 11, 2014 The Boy Scouts encourages rank advancement by making the first three ranks embarrassing and pathetic. Dec 11, 2014
    • Dec 10, 2014 Pineapples once were popular party accessories. And not for eating. Dec 10, 2014
    • Dec 10, 2014 My friends are dullards by comparison. Dec 10, 2014
    • Dec 10, 2014 Tiny windows hurt my heart. Dec 10, 2014
    • Dec 9, 2014 I have 15 jobs. So you probably require my services in one way or another. Dec 9, 2014
    • Dec 9, 2014 Cruelty is a sign of true friendship Dec 9, 2014
    • Dec 8, 2014 My 15 dead friends (potentially) Dec 8, 2014
    • Dec 8, 2014 These 8 minutes of amateur video are better than any show on television. Dec 8, 2014
    • Dec 7, 2014 The best way to stop a novelist dead in his tracks Dec 7, 2014
    • Dec 7, 2014 Good news and not bad news regarding my idea for an MRI boutique Dec 7, 2014
    • Dec 5, 2014 Three ideas to increase profitability at ESPN Dec 5, 2014
    • Dec 5, 2014 He’ll never have it this good again. Dec 5, 2014
    • Dec 5, 2014 The St. Louis Police Officers Association have demanded an apology, which unfortunately has made them look like middle school brats. Dec 5, 2014
    • Dec 4, 2014 Presentation consultant for hire Dec 4, 2014
    • Dec 3, 2014 Outsourcing and crowdsourcing my New Year’s resolutions: Any suggestions for me? Dec 3, 2014
    • Dec 3, 2014 The lack of sibling rivalry is my daughter's crowning achievement. Dec 3, 2014
    • Dec 2, 2014 Our little ingrate has grown up. Unfortunately. Dec 2, 2014
    • Dec 1, 2014 Resolution update: November 2014 Dec 1, 2014
  • November 2014
    • Nov 30, 2014 Apples are possibly the least relevant part of apple picking Nov 30, 2014
    • Nov 30, 2014 My 1992-1994 culture gap: Two years without television, movies, or music Nov 30, 2014
    • Nov 29, 2014 I was once a bank teller, waiting on Mark Wahlberg, writing sonnets, and battling my idiot manager. Nov 29, 2014
    • Nov 28, 2014 The stuff of my wife’s childhood is alive and well in the hands of our children, and I’m so jealous. Nov 28, 2014
    • Nov 28, 2014 A Christmas Story, brought to life through animatronics and a lot of love Nov 28, 2014
    • Nov 27, 2014 One more thing to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day Nov 27, 2014
    • Nov 27, 2014 Canned, jellied cranberry sauce will not go the way of the dodo (or the Twinkie) if I have anything to say about it. Nov 27, 2014
    • Nov 27, 2014 18 reasons for me to be thankful on Thanksgiving 2014 Nov 27, 2014
    • Nov 26, 2014 The MRI boutique: My next great business idea. Who wants to be my first investor? Nov 26, 2014
    • Nov 26, 2014 Cooler than his father ever was or will be Nov 26, 2014
    • Nov 25, 2014 The 8 lowest forms of human communication (2014 update) Nov 25, 2014
    • Nov 25, 2014 Coincidence? I don’t think so. Nov 25, 2014
    • Nov 24, 2014 Interstellar should be a TV show Nov 24, 2014
    • Nov 24, 2014 High school students wrote and produced raps based upon one of my books Nov 24, 2014
    • Nov 23, 2014 Bread bags on your feet was apparently a thing. Not just my family’s desperate attempt to keep our feet dry in the snow. Nov 23, 2014
    • Nov 23, 2014 Budo loves Max Nov 23, 2014
    • Nov 22, 2014 I went to the movies and met an amazing young woman and a loud-mouthed racist. Nov 22, 2014
    • Nov 22, 2014 Farmer Charlie Nov 22, 2014
    • Nov 21, 2014 One of my fictional characters has found his way into math class Nov 21, 2014
    • Nov 20, 2014 How much would you pay for one more hour in your day. Hint: There is a correct answer, and most Americans got it wrong. Nov 20, 2014
    • Nov 19, 2014 BJ Novak’s new children’s book is annoyingly brilliant, just like everything else he does annoyingly well. Nov 19, 2014
    • Nov 18, 2014 Adult sized Underoos might be even better than a sexy Princess Leia costume. Nov 18, 2014
    • Nov 18, 2014 A simple declaration and a smidgen of self confidence can launch a business and change your life. Just look at my mother-in-law. Nov 18, 2014
    • Nov 17, 2014 3 most important rules of the thank you note Nov 17, 2014
    • Nov 17, 2014 My father rode horses all his life. I rode horses until they were taken away. Watching my kids ride horses, even for a day, was magical. Nov 17, 2014
    • Nov 16, 2014 Perhaps I have more in common with the Matthew Dicks of Des Moines, Iowa than just our names and our mug shots Nov 16, 2014
    • Nov 15, 2014 Sometimes I think that my daughter is already cooler than I will ever be. Nov 15, 2014
    • Nov 15, 2014 New word: Truché Nov 15, 2014
    • Nov 14, 2014 I have a lot of stories to tell. More than you could ever imagine. I suspect that Bill Murray would understand why. Nov 14, 2014
    • Nov 13, 2014 My possibly petulant “I told you so” climate change Kickstarter idea: I need your feedback. Am I an idiot? Nov 13, 2014
    • Nov 13, 2014 My Daddy gnaws on raw pumpkin. Nov 13, 2014
    • Nov 12, 2014 I was once homeless, living in my 1992 Toyota Tercel. But that still seemed spacious compared to this apartment. Nov 12, 2014
    • Nov 11, 2014 Seriously badass porcupine Nov 11, 2014
    • Nov 11, 2014 She can find her own bed, and it hurt. Nov 11, 2014
    • Nov 10, 2014 Christmas seems to have arrived early this year, and shut the hell up. Nov 10, 2014
    • Nov 10, 2014 “I’m not a scientist” is a perfectly acceptable response to climate change questions, as long as you’re willing to acknowledge everything else that you are not. Nov 10, 2014
    • Nov 9, 2014 The McRib is back. It’s delicious. And there’s nothing wrong with it, you closed-minded, pretentious food snobs. Nov 9, 2014
    • Nov 8, 2014 I want to be asked more rhetorical questions Nov 8, 2014
    • Nov 8, 2014 I never realized how truly disturbing the opening sequences to 1980’s TV shows were until now. Nov 8, 2014
    • Nov 7, 2014 No technology is a great way to teach. Also, PowerPoint is more than two decades old. It doesn’t count as technology anymore. Nov 7, 2014
    • Nov 7, 2014 My son doesn’t give a damn about my deadlines. Nov 7, 2014
    • Nov 6, 2014 It would be amazing if my daughter became a firefighter when she grew up. My wife may disagree slightly. Nov 6, 2014
    • Nov 6, 2014 Hunter Thompson once retyped The Great Gatsby just to feel what it was like to write a great novel. What a stupid waste of time. Nov 6, 2014
    • Nov 5, 2014 How I Function on Less Than 6 Hours of Sleep (and how you could, too) Nov 5, 2014
    • Nov 5, 2014 No electricity. No touch screen. No Internet connection. Just centrifugal force and joy. Nov 5, 2014
    • Nov 4, 2014 Still in love Nov 4, 2014
    • Nov 3, 2014 A bungled MVP presentation demonstrates a truth about storytelling. Also, I’m available for hire, Chevy. And you need me. Desperately. Nov 3, 2014
    • Nov 3, 2014 My son wants attention. Just not from me. And it’s starting to hurt a little. Nov 3, 2014
    • Nov 2, 2014 The vastly underutilized “You told me so.” Nov 2, 2014
    • Nov 2, 2014 The two days that I will not miss my children and pets one bit Nov 2, 2014
    • Nov 1, 2014 He can sing the Clean Up song. Does this mean he might actually learn to clean up someday? Nov 1, 2014
    • Nov 1, 2014 Resolution update: October 2014 Nov 1, 2014
  • October 2014
    • Oct 31, 2014 Halloween has meant many different things to me depending upon the year. Have your Halloweens followed a similar trajectory? Oct 31, 2014
    • Oct 31, 2014 People will still try to destroy you. Oct 31, 2014
    • Oct 30, 2014 Who is watching these political ads? Oct 30, 2014
    • Oct 30, 2014 Our little yoga clocks Oct 30, 2014
    • Oct 29, 2014 11 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was 20 Oct 29, 2014
    • Oct 28, 2014 Today will be one of the hardest days of parenting so far. I know I’m lucky in this respect, but there is still a hole in my heart. Oct 28, 2014
    • Oct 27, 2014 Don’t say goodbye to the bride and groom. Just leave. Let it be your final gift to them. Oct 27, 2014
    • Oct 27, 2014 I began the day as a depressed and angry idiot. I ended the day with laughter and rainbows and sunshine. Literally. The lesson: Don’t give up hope. Oct 27, 2014
    • Oct 26, 2014 My son cracked his head open with a lamp. My wife’s reaction to his head wound was unusual but surprisingly typical. Oct 26, 2014
    • Oct 25, 2014 My new startup idea: Rate My Parents Oct 25, 2014
    • Oct 25, 2014 The boy loves his yoga Oct 25, 2014
    • Oct 24, 2014 Something is funny Oct 24, 2014
    • Oct 23, 2014 Why does this photo make me so sad? Oct 23, 2014
    • Oct 22, 2014 I wonder this all the time. Oct 22, 2014
    • Oct 21, 2014 Hack a friend’s Facebook profile. Have fun and do some good all at the same time. Oct 21, 2014
    • Oct 21, 2014 Hot Buzz About Books and Book Clubs Oct 21, 2014
    • Oct 20, 2014 Conscientiousness is the most important trait. This may explain how I manage to overcome the absence of so many others. Oct 20, 2014
    • Oct 19, 2014 Favorite girls Oct 19, 2014
    • Oct 18, 2014 Death helps. Steve Jobs knew this, and unlike me, he didn’t need to die in order to learn it. Oct 18, 2014
    • Oct 17, 2014 My kids love each other so much, and you can shut your mouth about it. Oct 17, 2014
    • Oct 16, 2014 The difference between playing school and teaching school Oct 16, 2014
    • Oct 15, 2014 A race to the bottom: Which state will be the last to legalize same sex marriage? Oct 15, 2014
    • Oct 14, 2014 Teachers: Stop commenting, positively or negatively, on your student’s physical appearance. It’s only hurting them. Oct 14, 2014
    • Oct 14, 2014 Hemingway was an idiot. Write sober. Oct 14, 2014
    • Oct 13, 2014 John Steinbeck was an unrealistically and obscenely mature man Oct 13, 2014
    • Oct 13, 2014 The Mystery of Prince Rupert’s Drop: A small piece of glass made amazing Oct 13, 2014
    • Oct 12, 2014 Productivity tip #11: What "I didn't have enough time" really means. Oct 12, 2014
    • Oct 11, 2014 “Guess what?” You sound like an idiot when you say “Guess what?” Oct 11, 2014
    • Oct 11, 2014 Learning to be a grandfather from the best Oct 11, 2014
    • Oct 10, 2014 Funnier than some big budget comedies Oct 10, 2014
    • Oct 9, 2014 How I establish the rules of my classroom Oct 9, 2014
    • Oct 9, 2014 I hope they remember this moment when they want to kill each other. Oct 9, 2014
    • Oct 8, 2014 Saturday morning cartoons are no more. A sad day for someone whose 27 year friendship may have been predicated on a Saturday morning cartoon theme song. Oct 8, 2014
    • Oct 8, 2014 There can only be one explanation for a Republican campaign ad as sexist and stupid as this. Oct 8, 2014
    • Oct 7, 2014 Is it wrong for me to find this Wallkill Mighty Mites clip nearly as entertaining as the Patriots victory over the Bengals? Oct 7, 2014
    • Oct 7, 2014 Hot Buzz About Books and Book Clubs Oct 7, 2014
    • Oct 6, 2014 No one wants to see your photos of the sunrise or the sunset. Oct 6, 2014
    • Oct 6, 2014 Let’s put an end to the Miss America pageant by making anyone who watches it feel small and stupid and uninformed. Oct 6, 2014
    • Oct 5, 2014 I have never used an em dash. I don’t even know how to make an em dash. But you can still find them in my books. Oct 5, 2014
    • Oct 5, 2014 Beautiful wife. Scolded boy. Molded in plastic. Oct 5, 2014
    • Oct 4, 2014 This is what happens when you work in the industry for 17 years. Oct 4, 2014
    • Oct 4, 2014 A man shouted at me. Swore at me. My response was not appropriate. Unfortunately. Oct 4, 2014
    • Oct 4, 2014 Daddy is dumb. Mommy is a genius. Oct 4, 2014
    • Oct 3, 2014 This short film presents a situation that is both ridiculous and reality. And that scares the hell out of me. Oct 3, 2014
    • Oct 2, 2014 My story was featured on The Moth’s podcast this week. I still get goose bumps. Oct 2, 2014
    • Oct 2, 2014 Clara's September bus stop outfits Oct 2, 2014
    • Oct 1, 2014 While my son was joyously climbing aboard fire engines and tractors, my daughter and I were engulfed in tragedy and heartache. Oct 1, 2014
    • Oct 1, 2014 Resolution update: September 2014 Oct 1, 2014
  • September 2014
    • Sep 30, 2014 Unacceptable platitude #7: “Fair does not mean equal.” Sep 30, 2014
    • Sep 29, 2014 Shortcomings and Flaws: 2014 Sep 29, 2014
    • Sep 28, 2014 Stupid yoga may be turning my son into a dweeb. Or perhaps he’s trying to get the attention of women like his father once did. Sep 28, 2014
    • Sep 27, 2014 Office space turned dance hall, yoga studio, lunch room hell. I bet they’re all organic, gluten-free, transcendentalist vegans, too. Sep 27, 2014
    • Sep 26, 2014 My five year-old daughter has discovered the BEST COMEBACK EVER Sep 26, 2014
    • Sep 26, 2014 September 26, 1983: The day a Soviet colonel and forgotten hero saved the world from nuclear destruction. Sep 26, 2014
    • Sep 25, 2014 Poop is here. Sep 25, 2014
    • Sep 25, 2014 ESPN makes the same stupid mistake that they criticized NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for two months ago. Sep 25, 2014
    • Sep 24, 2014 My annual plea to the girls in my fifth grade class: Maintain your advantage over the boys. Rule the world. Sep 24, 2014
    • Sep 23, 2014 My daughter received her first library card. Her father might be more excited about it than she is, and for good reason. Sep 23, 2014
    • Sep 22, 2014 I have a simple, inexpensive, highly effective means of improving learning for all students: Make things fun. Sep 22, 2014
    • Sep 21, 2014 This author found a way to sell books with sticks and leaves and a little bit of twine. Sep 21, 2014
    • Sep 21, 2014 Our unusually dark and strange family lullaby Sep 21, 2014
    • Sep 20, 2014 The Grecian Bend was stupid, but no. Heels are still stupider. Sep 20, 2014
    • Sep 19, 2014 There was a dead man in our hotel room. Sep 19, 2014
    • Sep 18, 2014 Star Wars is nothing without the music Sep 18, 2014
    • Sep 17, 2014 Purposeful procrastination: Are slightly lower grades really all that bad? Sep 17, 2014
    • Sep 16, 2014 The tyranny of the syllabus Sep 16, 2014
    • Sep 16, 2014 My children visited a bookstore on the last day of summer. Their behavior was shocking. Sep 16, 2014
    • Sep 15, 2014 My best piece of parenting advice Sep 15, 2014
    • Sep 15, 2014 Just like his mom. And his dad, actually. Sep 15, 2014
    • Sep 14, 2014 If I was able to choose my children’s teachers, this is what I would want more than anything else. Sep 14, 2014
    • Sep 14, 2014 When you choose the name Moxie Marlinspike, you have to expect people to ask about the name. Just answer the question. Sep 14, 2014
    • Sep 13, 2014 Men are far more likely to make stupid decisions in sports. But are the reasons for this stupidity all bad? I don’t think so. Sep 13, 2014
    • Sep 13, 2014 The range of emotions at the bus stop on Friday was astounding. Sep 13, 2014
    • Sep 12, 2014 At last I have a plan for old age Sep 12, 2014
    • Sep 11, 2014 The Moth: Secret Bedroom Move Sep 11, 2014
    • Sep 11, 2014 Bathtub interloper Sep 11, 2014
    • Sep 10, 2014 PowerPoint presentations, game shows, skinny dipping, and now The Oscars: Quirks of the many book clubs I have attended Sep 10, 2014
    • Sep 9, 2014 Charlie! Sep 9, 2014
    • Sep 9, 2014 Priceless moments at an ATM Sep 9, 2014
    • Sep 8, 2014 The dark is coming. Sep 8, 2014
    • Sep 8, 2014 Little old ladies on a plane Sep 8, 2014
    • Sep 7, 2014 Anything but a banana Sep 7, 2014
    • Sep 7, 2014 Czech edition of Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend Sep 7, 2014
    • Sep 6, 2014 Stupid nostalgia Sep 6, 2014
    • Sep 6, 2014 Yesterday’s bus stop goodbye Sep 6, 2014
    • Sep 5, 2014 Her possible rejection of the manicure might be her best decision yet. Sep 5, 2014
    • Sep 5, 2014 The Moth: The Cardboard Knight Sep 5, 2014
    • Sep 4, 2014 We bought an IKEA step stool. Thanks to the directions, we know not to look closely at it. Sep 4, 2014
    • Sep 4, 2014 The truth is sometimes truly better than fiction. This is just such a case. Sep 4, 2014
    • Sep 3, 2014 One of the greatest sources of disagreement in my marriage centers on Kevin Bacon and a questionable dance number. Sep 3, 2014
    • Sep 3, 2014 My daughter’s bus stop is completely ridiculous, and I so wish I could be there. Sep 3, 2014
    • Sep 2, 2014 The Moth: No Santa Sep 2, 2014
    • Sep 1, 2014 Not so internal dialogue Sep 1, 2014
    • Sep 1, 2014 Resolution update: August 2014 Sep 1, 2014
  • August 2014
    • Aug 31, 2014 Economy of blessings is paramount to my son. Either that or he’s already rejecting religion. Aug 31, 2014
    • Aug 31, 2014 Most threatening (and perhaps effective) example of signage ever Aug 31, 2014
    • Aug 30, 2014 This is real, despite all my instincts telling me otherwise. Aug 30, 2014
    • Aug 29, 2014 Men humiliate men. Constantly. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Aug 29, 2014
    • Aug 29, 2014 Saddest photos ever taken Aug 29, 2014
    • Aug 28, 2014 Open a toy. Record. Make a fortune. Aug 28, 2014
    • Aug 28, 2014 I went to Maine to officiate a wedding for a couple I had never met, and it wasn’t crazy. Aug 28, 2014
    • Aug 27, 2014 The Louisiana Literacy Test of 1963 is astonishing. Impossibly difficult and truly evil. I think I’ll give it to my students. Aug 27, 2014
    • Aug 27, 2014 A perfect visual representation of how I feel about my daughter’s first day of kindergarten Aug 27, 2014
    • Aug 27, 2014 Speak Up: Storytelling Workshop launching Aug 27, 2014
    • Aug 26, 2014 My maybe-girlfriend asked if we could watch The Simpsons. I knew I had found a wife. Aug 26, 2014
    • Aug 26, 2014 My kindergartener Aug 26, 2014
    • Aug 25, 2014 My daughter is making new friends for me Aug 25, 2014
    • Aug 25, 2014 Perfect cure for the first day of school blues Aug 25, 2014
    • Aug 24, 2014 Why does writing instruction so often suck? Aug 24, 2014
    • Aug 23, 2014 There is nothing wrong with a married couple sleeping in separate beds. There’s something very wrong with allowing society to stop you from doing so. Aug 23, 2014
    • Aug 22, 2014 Love the book. Hate the fact that it only took Bradbury 18 days to write it. Aug 22, 2014
    • Aug 21, 2014 Advice for teachers about to embark on another school year: Stay out of the classroom Aug 21, 2014
    • Aug 20, 2014 Boyhood made all the difference for me. Aug 20, 2014
    • Aug 20, 2014 Can you imagine a better way to start the day? Aug 20, 2014
    • Aug 19, 2014 What is the best way to invest one dollar? Aug 19, 2014
    • Aug 19, 2014 My book club once featured skinny dipping. This book club has a big time college football player for a member. I think they win. Aug 19, 2014
    • Aug 18, 2014 Stuff I don’t know: Flowers Aug 18, 2014
    • Aug 17, 2014 Happy boy Aug 17, 2014
    • Aug 17, 2014 Plants are smarter than we ever imagined. Eating them is no less cruel than eating a cow. And cows taste better. Aug 17, 2014
    • Aug 16, 2014 She’s worried about her husband’s diapers. She should be more worried about her child’s early morning routine. Aug 16, 2014
    • Aug 16, 2014 Working hard for the money: 2014 update Aug 16, 2014
    • Aug 15, 2014 “Where do you get your ideas?” is an understandable but impossible-to-answer question for authors. But “Nuns at Scout camp” will be one of my answers someday. Aug 15, 2014
    • Aug 14, 2014 I won a Moth StorySLAM, and that wasn’t the best part of the night. Seriously. Aug 14, 2014
    • Aug 14, 2014 This is not the look a father wants to see on his little girl's face. Aug 14, 2014
    • Aug 13, 2014 Dungeons & Dragons brought me back to writing and saved my career. Aug 13, 2014
    • Aug 12, 2014 My first date advice: Tell stories. Aug 12, 2014
    • Aug 12, 2014 Our daughter told us to shut up, and she was right. Aug 12, 2014
    • Aug 11, 2014 Productivity tip #10: Get out of bed. Aug 11, 2014
    • Aug 11, 2014 Our children, circa 1840 Aug 11, 2014
    • Aug 10, 2014 Megan Washington’s stutter is just perfect Aug 10, 2014
    • Aug 9, 2014 My mother looks unbelievably young, and I look even more poorly dressed than usual. Aug 9, 2014
    • Aug 9, 2014 Unfair assumption #19: The desire for a specific postage stamp is a clear indication of the need for a life. Aug 9, 2014
    • Aug 8, 2014 Possible future artist (and something else, I hope) Aug 8, 2014
    • Aug 8, 2014 Stupid super dads suck Aug 8, 2014
    • Aug 7, 2014 When it comes of purposeful procrastination, Mark Twain agreed with me. I can’t be nearly as stupid as people think. Aug 7, 2014
    • Aug 6, 2014 Amber has every right to hate Sophia. I should know. Aug 6, 2014
    • Aug 6, 2014 Productivity tip #9: If your friends think your boyfriend is a jerk, he’s a jerk. Aug 6, 2014
    • Aug 5, 2014 I suffered a wardrobe malfunction. I told the audience that they suck. Just another day in the life of an author. Aug 5, 2014
    • Aug 5, 2014 I hereby release myself of all parental guilt regarding the iPad. It was shortsighted, stupid, and purposelessly nostalgic. Aug 5, 2014
    • Aug 4, 2014 My daughter thinks she’s found the next Jackson Pollock. Or maybe she just loves her brother. Aug 4, 2014
    • Aug 3, 2014 Five ways I’ll know that I’ve finally made it as a screenwriter. Aug 3, 2014
    • Aug 3, 2014 I wrote about a dream I had last night. Three dreams, actually. But hearing about dreams usually sucks, so feel free to ignore. Aug 3, 2014
    • Aug 2, 2014 Married to Carrie-Anne Moss Aug 2, 2014
    • Aug 1, 2014 Grandparents kicking millennials’ asses Aug 1, 2014
    • Aug 1, 2014 Resolution update: July 2014 Aug 1, 2014
  • July 2014
    • Jul 31, 2014 What do you want inscribed on your gravestone? Jul 31, 2014
    • Jul 30, 2014 John Lennon’s “Imagine” is not a good song. I think you’ll agree. Jul 30, 2014
    • Jul 30, 2014 Lucky Nani Jul 30, 2014
    • Jul 29, 2014 The solution to all of my ponytail, pigtail, and braiding woes Jul 29, 2014
    • Jul 29, 2014 Friendly’s slogans leave a lot to be desired Jul 29, 2014
    • Jul 28, 2014 You’ll be shocked to discover who favors old fashioned ink and paper over digital composition Jul 28, 2014
    • Jul 28, 2014 She can't fly, which would be cool, but my daughter's super power is still impressive. Jul 28, 2014
    • Jul 27, 2014 Sister loves brother Jul 27, 2014
    • Jul 26, 2014 I don’t love bathing my kids. Except I often do. Jul 26, 2014
    • Jul 26, 2014 My annual list of my shortcomings and flaws is being written now. Suggestions welcomed. Jul 26, 2014
    • Jul 25, 2014 Boy learns the alphabet on his own. Father takes credit. Jul 25, 2014
    • Jul 25, 2014 Future Futurist. Actually, current futurist, looking for his first paycheck. Jul 25, 2014
    • Jul 24, 2014 What were the three most important decisions of your life? Jul 24, 2014
    • Jul 23, 2014 Own your crazy Jul 23, 2014
    • Jul 22, 2014 I live in a country where Janet Jackson’s boob receives more attention than net neutrality. Jul 22, 2014
    • Jul 22, 2014 It’s just a table with some crayons and paints and paper, but in a surprising way, it’s changed the course of my children's lives. Jul 22, 2014
    • Jul 21, 2014 Declare your parental pride. Make the world better for the parent of a newborn. Jul 21, 2014
    • Jul 20, 2014 Contrary to popular belief, parents and teachers are well aware of the existence of Sparknotes. Jul 20, 2014
    • Jul 19, 2014 My daughter, the old lady. Jul 19, 2014
    • Jul 18, 2014 A visit from Mom Jul 18, 2014
    • Jul 18, 2014 New rule: Women should not make sweeping generalizations about women. Jul 18, 2014
    • Jul 17, 2014 Stop the retirement madness. Please. Jul 17, 2014
    • Jul 16, 2014 Starbucks offers me one more reason to love my wife Jul 16, 2014
    • Jul 16, 2014 I am like a tree in one very specific way, at least according to my daughter. Jul 16, 2014
    • Jul 15, 2014 99 more reasons that I love Elysha Dicks Jul 15, 2014
    • Jul 14, 2014 The amazing, astounding Abercrombie adults Jul 14, 2014
    • Jul 14, 2014 I worry that George R.R. Martin will die before finishing his Song of Fire and Ice series, and yes, that’s not a nice thing to think. Jul 14, 2014
    • Jul 13, 2014 Productivity tip #8: A succinct and accurate description of my work flow Jul 13, 2014
    • Jul 12, 2014 No one talks baby off the hill Jul 12, 2014
    • Jul 12, 2014 The exuberance of elderly warriors Jul 12, 2014
    • Jul 11, 2014 Serious geography geek material Jul 11, 2014
    • Jul 10, 2014 The boys at the Big Swim Meet had no idea how fleeting boyhood is. Once gone, you will long for it forever. Jul 10, 2014
    • Jul 10, 2014 Someone ruined cookies, too. Jul 10, 2014
    • Jul 9, 2014 Vegetable ice cream is wrong. Jul 9, 2014
    • Jul 9, 2014 Sometimes a cell phone holster can tell you a lot about a person Jul 9, 2014
    • Jul 8, 2014 My wife is annoyed by our 10% deal. I’m so glad. Jul 8, 2014
    • Jul 8, 2014 Posthumous vindication sucks. Jul 8, 2014
    • Jul 7, 2014 Carte Blanche Summers: My first column Jul 7, 2014
    • Jul 7, 2014 The payoff for a writer or a performer is an infinitesimal sliver of the job. Too many forget this and aren’t willing to do the work. Jul 7, 2014
    • Jul 6, 2014 The best clause in any contract ever Jul 6, 2014
    • Jul 6, 2014 Stay close, little ones. Jul 6, 2014
    • Jul 5, 2014 Most of us don’t watch Fox News, little ones. Jul 5, 2014
    • Jul 5, 2014 You can’t blow out electric lights… Jul 5, 2014
    • Jul 4, 2014 There are many reasons why the death penalty should be abolished. But one reason should be reason enough. Jul 4, 2014
    • Jul 4, 2014 I’m left handed but learned to play baseball right handed to save money. Jul 4, 2014
    • Jul 3, 2014 My first paid writing gig was for my very own paper mill. It made me the writer I am today. Jul 3, 2014
    • Jul 3, 2014 I’m a much better dancer than my son. Jul 3, 2014
    • Jul 2, 2014 Moth victories are so much better with my septuagenarian hipster in-laws in attendance Jul 2, 2014
    • Jul 2, 2014 My wife’s solution to the problem was to knock on a stranger’s door and ask to borrow clothing. Seriously. Jul 2, 2014
    • Jul 1, 2014 The question all successful people can answer immediately: What’s your super power? Jul 1, 2014
    • Jul 1, 2014 So this happened for about 30 minutes yesterday. Should I be worried? Jul 1, 2014
    • Jul 1, 2014 Resolution update: June 2014 Jul 1, 2014
  • June 2014
    • Jun 30, 2014 The ad has good intentions, but it doesn’t depict reality, and that could be more damaging to girls than no ad at all. Jun 30, 2014
    • Jun 30, 2014 Has there ever been a better big sister? Jun 30, 2014
    • Jun 29, 2014 Hilarious. Genius. Not entirely safe for work. Jun 29, 2014
    • Jun 29, 2014 Manly words. Girly words. How many of each do you know? Jun 29, 2014
    • Jun 28, 2014 Halloween circa 1978 Jun 28, 2014
    • Jun 28, 2014 Truth Jun 28, 2014
    • Jun 27, 2014 Boy fakes his own kidnapping to avoid dentist. A hero emerges in the process. Jun 27, 2014
    • Jun 27, 2014 Sad, pathetic children Jun 27, 2014
    • Jun 27, 2014 Speak Up tickets, dates for upcoming shows, and a writer's workshop launch Jun 27, 2014
    • Jun 26, 2014 Golf is in a decline because people are stupid. Jun 26, 2014
    • Jun 26, 2014 Dating in a perfect, bookish world Jun 26, 2014
    • Jun 25, 2014 Someone stole my idea for professional best man and made a movie out of it. Jun 25, 2014
    • Jun 25, 2014 Preschool graduation! Jun 25, 2014
    • Jun 24, 2014 Skinned knees are no big deal. Preferable, even. Jun 24, 2014
    • Jun 24, 2014 Four of my books and one dead unicorn Jun 24, 2014
    • Jun 23, 2014 Speak Up at The Mount! Jun 23, 2014
    • Jun 23, 2014 Productivity tip #7: Push your lawnmower. Jun 23, 2014
    • Jun 22, 2014 Bad genes. At least according to my wife. Jun 22, 2014
    • Jun 21, 2014 I am a legitimate fashion icon. A trendsetter. The New York Times says so. Jun 21, 2014
    • Jun 20, 2014 Chef Clara Jun 20, 2014
    • Jun 20, 2014 Every day contains a story Jun 20, 2014
    • Jun 19, 2014 Walking an elephant at the mall is still fun Jun 19, 2014
    • Jun 19, 2014 The demographics of the Republican Party are astounding. Jun 19, 2014
    • Jun 18, 2014 Best Internet comment ever Jun 18, 2014
    • Jun 17, 2014 Did you know that Daddy doesn't sleep. My daughter has proof. Jun 17, 2014
    • Jun 17, 2014 Mens is wrong Jun 17, 2014
    • Jun 16, 2014 Pitchers who intentionally hit batters are cowards Jun 16, 2014
    • Jun 16, 2014 Future laborer, I hope. Jun 16, 2014
    • Jun 15, 2014 Little boy in a box Jun 15, 2014
    • Jun 14, 2014 My daughter’s has a tough road ahead. Her parents do, too. Jun 14, 2014
    • Jun 13, 2014 If given the choice, I choose this tea party over the one that advocates killing gay people. Jun 13, 2014
    • Jun 12, 2014 Did you know that Fastball’s “The Way” is a song about an elderly couple that was found dead at the bottom of a cliff? Jun 12, 2014
    • Jun 11, 2014 Opinions on parenting that differ from your own should not turn you into a raging lunatic. Jun 11, 2014
    • Jun 11, 2014 “House on a Hill” Jun 11, 2014
    • Jun 10, 2014 He loves trash. If only my greatest desires were so simple. Jun 10, 2014
    • Jun 9, 2014 What is Peter Segal thinking? You don’t replace an 80 year-old man with a 74 year-old man. Jun 9, 2014
    • Jun 9, 2014 The Moth: Battle at Big Sky Jun 9, 2014
    • Jun 8, 2014 My emotional pants Jun 8, 2014
    • Jun 8, 2014 My constant reminder Jun 8, 2014
    • Jun 7, 2014 Our newest superhero (and her underwear is on the inside!) Jun 7, 2014
    • Jun 6, 2014 No better start to the day Jun 6, 2014
    • Jun 5, 2014 Remember Tank Man. Jun 5, 2014
    • Jun 5, 2014 I’m apparently the dishwasher. Jun 5, 2014
    • Jun 4, 2014 Three years ago, I dreamed of telling a story on a Moth stage. Today I am a storyteller. Life can change quickly if you give it a chance. Jun 4, 2014
    • Jun 3, 2014 My new best friend lives in Ecuador and has great taste in books and culture Jun 3, 2014
    • Jun 2, 2014 My TEDx Somerville Talk: “A Life of Yes” Jun 2, 2014
    • Jun 1, 2014 Little litter combatant Jun 1, 2014
    • Jun 1, 2014 Resolution update: May 2014 Jun 1, 2014
  • May 2014
    • May 31, 2014 She claims that she wasn’t going for matchy-matchy, but I don’t believe her. May 31, 2014
    • May 31, 2014 I want one now. May 31, 2014
    • May 30, 2014 Just eliminate gift registries entirely. Also, divorce registries are disgusting. May 30, 2014
    • May 30, 2014 Our Norman Rockwell daughter May 30, 2014
    • May 29, 2014 “Fun” is the word most often missing from education today. It’s practically nonexistent. May 29, 2014
    • May 29, 2014 The three great leaders of my life May 29, 2014
    • May 28, 2014 Possible lessons to be learned from Weezer’s unexpected path to success May 28, 2014
    • May 27, 2014 The marching band and free hot dogs were great, but the drag queen was the best part of the parade. May 27, 2014
    • May 27, 2014 The New York Post’s Kim Kardashian - Kanye West wedding announcement was quite educational. May 27, 2014
    • May 26, 2014 I had a story on This American Life. The reaction to this news has been interesting. May 26, 2014
    • May 26, 2014 Are toddlers really smarter than the elderly? May 26, 2014
    • May 25, 2014 The fascinating history of Softsoap: A lesson in ingenuity and tenacity May 25, 2014
    • May 24, 2014 Upcoming appearances May 24, 2014
    • May 24, 2014 The secret to happiness is based upon perspective and expectation. May 24, 2014
    • May 23, 2014 Storytellers are important, but it’s within the audience that you find the true beauty of storytelling. May 23, 2014
    • May 22, 2014 I am happily clueless about many things. It seems to make people very angry. May 22, 2014
    • May 22, 2014 SportsCenter anchor? No big deal. Actor in a 30 second commercial? AWE INSPIRING. May 22, 2014
    • May 21, 2014 Deathbed regrets revisited 2014 May 21, 2014
    • May 20, 2014 The brief but surprising history of Uggs May 20, 2014
    • May 19, 2014 Small boy. Big words. Enormous inspiration. May 19, 2014
    • May 19, 2014 The kid is a player. May 19, 2014
    • May 18, 2014 Students can do amazing things when they want to annoy their teacher. May 18, 2014
    • May 17, 2014 How to Stop a Wedding: Much better advice than what Slate had to offer. May 17, 2014
    • May 17, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Cara Paiuk May 17, 2014
    • May 16, 2014 Second-hand Milo May 16, 2014
    • May 16, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Lynelle Abel May 16, 2014
    • May 15, 2014 Our tiny barrier to productivity May 15, 2014
    • May 15, 2014 The Patriots new jersey guarantee highlights the struggles of NFL players May 15, 2014
    • May 15, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Angela Lovell May 15, 2014
    • May 14, 2014 So sadly true May 14, 2014
    • May 14, 2014 Speak Up storytelling: Risa Sugarman May 14, 2014
    • May 13, 2014 Why do I remember my childhood with such clarity when so many others do not? May 13, 2014
    • May 13, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Tom Reed-Swale May 13, 2014
    • May 12, 2014 Watch this. May 12, 2014
    • May 11, 2014 Best Teacher Appreciation Day gift ever May 11, 2014
    • May 11, 2014 The NFL draft is kind of dumb. But this story is AWESOME. May 11, 2014
    • May 11, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Doreen Stern May 11, 2014
    • May 11, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Alan MacKenzie May 11, 2014
    • May 10, 2014 Goodnight Moon with her little brother May 10, 2014
    • May 9, 2014 Napping will kill you. Science says so. May 9, 2014
    • May 9, 2014 Productivity tip #6: Calculate the cost of your meeting and act accordingly May 9, 2014
    • May 8, 2014 College is possible for all. Even for those who graduate from high school and find themselves on their own. May 8, 2014
    • May 7, 2014 What's the Hardest Part of Parenting? May 7, 2014
    • May 7, 2014 Stop and watch. May 7, 2014
    • May 6, 2014 Two conditions are required for justified embarrassment. If these conditions are not present, move on with your life. May 6, 2014
    • May 5, 2014 Three years of storytelling with The Moth May 5, 2014
    • May 5, 2014 Our children can entertain themselves for long stretches of time. I fear it’s the result of exceedingly boring parents. May 5, 2014
    • May 4, 2014 Stupid but forgiven May 4, 2014
    • May 4, 2014 The best use of cell phone jamming technology is not being utilized, and I don’t understand why. May 4, 2014
    • May 3, 2014 A simple solution to the lemon and lime shortage that will improve your life at the same time May 3, 2014
    • May 2, 2014 The double standard of sexist statements May 2, 2014
    • May 2, 2014 Puddle jumpers May 2, 2014
    • May 1, 2014 My appearance on The Moth Radio Hour May 1, 2014
    • May 1, 2014 I want one. May 1, 2014
    • May 1, 2014 Resolution update: April 2014 May 1, 2014
  • April 2014
    • Apr 30, 2014 Poetry is not for the faint of heart. At least mine apparently isn’t. Apr 30, 2014
    • Apr 30, 2014 Quite possibly the cutest moment in my son’s entire life, which would be unfortunate. Apr 30, 2014
    • Apr 29, 2014 We don’t always treat kids fairly when it comes to food and choice Apr 29, 2014
    • Apr 29, 2014 Little people pushing little carriages Apr 29, 2014
    • Apr 28, 2014 My English degree finally pays off. Apr 28, 2014
    • Apr 28, 2014 Look what my wife made! Apr 28, 2014
    • Apr 27, 2014 New rule: NO MORE WEATHER TALK Apr 27, 2014
    • Apr 26, 2014 It’s the second parent’s second opinion that is often most valuable Apr 26, 2014
    • Apr 25, 2014 Productivity tip #5: Fewer shoes Apr 25, 2014
    • Apr 25, 2014 Someone actually ruined bacon. Apr 25, 2014
    • Apr 24, 2014 No makeup is a thing now. Turns out that I was merely ahead of the curve. Apr 24, 2014
    • Apr 24, 2014 Speak Up tickets now on sale Apr 24, 2014
    • Apr 23, 2014 Based upon his 8 tips for writing short stories, I think Vonnegut would’ve made a great storyteller. Apr 23, 2014
    • Apr 23, 2014 Freeze this moment, damn it. Apr 23, 2014
    • Apr 22, 2014 Why we don’t fight Apr 22, 2014
    • Apr 21, 2014 Giving my girl a smile and some good luck Apr 21, 2014
    • Apr 21, 2014 Productivity tip #4: Walk fast. Apr 21, 2014
    • Apr 20, 2014 Incompetent customer service saves Amtrak and Boston Market a total of $33.03 and costs them customers and reputation as a result. Apr 20, 2014
    • Apr 19, 2014 Speak Up offering storytelling workshops Apr 19, 2014
    • Apr 19, 2014 Will my daughter miss out on the culture of cruel pranks and purposeful, public embarrassment because she is a girl? If so, I’m sad. Also, why? Apr 19, 2014
    • Apr 18, 2014 15 thoughts from a Moth StorySLAM Apr 18, 2014
    • Apr 18, 2014 Did we buy this for the cat or the boy? Apr 18, 2014
    • Apr 17, 2014 Photoshop? No. Apr 17, 2014
    • Apr 17, 2014 Charlie says yes to chocolate-covered matzo Apr 17, 2014
    • Apr 16, 2014 Completely cringe-worthy and painful to watch(unless you’re mean like me) Apr 16, 2014
    • Apr 16, 2014 Don’t even try to invade North Hampton Apr 16, 2014
    • Apr 15, 2014 Dictionary revision required Apr 15, 2014
    • Apr 15, 2014 Spite is good. Science agrees. Tim Martin agrees. Apr 15, 2014
    • Apr 14, 2014 Writers Abroad and perhaps a writing program for adults, too? Apr 14, 2014
    • Apr 14, 2014 Chipotle and education: Upside-down organizations where the best people are removed from the most important positions Apr 14, 2014
    • Apr 13, 2014 24 thoughts from my weekend at Booktopia Apr 13, 2014
    • Apr 13, 2014 My boy and me Apr 13, 2014
    • Apr 12, 2014 So much for Mommy and Daddy… Apr 12, 2014
    • Apr 12, 2014 If no one believes your lie, what’s the point? Apr 12, 2014
    • Apr 11, 2014 My novels are ruining geometry class and destroying readers. The unexpected benefits of publishing a book. Apr 11, 2014
    • Apr 11, 2014 Upcoming speaking gigs Apr 11, 2014
    • Apr 10, 2014 Intelligent disobedience Apr 10, 2014
    • Apr 10, 2014 A good life Apr 10, 2014
    • Apr 9, 2014 Early morning warriors (or lunatics) Apr 9, 2014
    • Apr 9, 2014 Cheerios and a tower Apr 9, 2014
    • Apr 8, 2014 Love me some angry bigots Apr 8, 2014
    • Apr 8, 2014 The New York Times gets haiku all wrong, and I’m infuriated. Probably more than I should be. Apr 8, 2014
    • Apr 7, 2014 Casual Friday EVERYDAY could save the world (and your soul) Apr 7, 2014
    • Apr 7, 2014 Unnecessarily dangerous Apr 7, 2014
    • Apr 6, 2014 My kids like flowers. I don’t get it. Apr 6, 2014
    • Apr 5, 2014 Suspiciously perfect start to the day Apr 5, 2014
    • Apr 4, 2014 You’re not in trouble if the only consequence is a verbal reminder. Apr 4, 2014
    • Apr 4, 2014 Street typography Apr 4, 2014
    • Apr 3, 2014 My uninspired work space Apr 3, 2014
    • Apr 2, 2014 I will zip no more! Apr 2, 2014
    • Apr 2, 2014 Resolution update: March 2014 Apr 2, 2014
    • Apr 1, 2014 Mary Poppins was right about teaching. We would all do well to listen to her. Apr 1, 2014
    • Apr 1, 2014 Mother-son moments Apr 1, 2014
  • March 2014
    • Mar 31, 2014 I’ve always thought that a library fine was a good thing. Unexpected income. Some librarians have disagreed. Am I wrong? Mar 31, 2014
    • Mar 30, 2014 Itsy Bitsy Spider and Wheels on the Bus Mar 30, 2014
    • Mar 30, 2014 Never took the SAT Mar 30, 2014
    • Mar 29, 2014 If you haven’t seen White House Down yet, don’t. You’ve probably seen it already and just don’t realize it. Mar 29, 2014
    • Mar 28, 2014 Things You Should Do Everyday to Improve Your Life For Real: Give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Mar 28, 2014
    • Mar 28, 2014 Speak Up storytelling: Pam Murphy Mar 28, 2014
    • Mar 28, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Andy Christie Mar 28, 2014
    • Mar 27, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Kathy Binder Mar 27, 2014
    • Mar 26, 2014 Television is so much better today Mar 26, 2014
    • Mar 26, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Lynelle Abel Mar 26, 2014
    • Mar 25, 2014 The Moth: Sit ups Mar 25, 2014
    • Mar 25, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Robert Fiedler Mar 25, 2014
    • Mar 25, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Phil Woods Mar 25, 2014
    • Mar 24, 2014 Thoughts on The Book of Mormon Mar 24, 2014
    • Mar 24, 2014 She found my hat. Mar 24, 2014
    • Mar 24, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Robin Gelfenbien Mar 24, 2014
    • Mar 23, 2014 Car seats begone! Mar 23, 2014
    • Mar 23, 2014 A more accurate Out of Office reply Mar 23, 2014
    • Mar 21, 2014 A humble offer to Dunkin’ Donuts Mar 21, 2014
    • Mar 21, 2014 Awaiting the return of King of the Bed Mar 21, 2014
    • Mar 21, 2014 Words of encouragement Mar 21, 2014
    • Mar 20, 2014 So much for “Vomit-Free Since ‘83” Mar 20, 2014
    • Mar 19, 2014 Judd Apatow’s Freaks and Geeks determined the plot. My characters do the same. Mar 19, 2014
    • Mar 19, 2014 Starting early Mar 19, 2014
    • Mar 18, 2014 Parenting does not suck. It’s just that some people suck at life. Mar 18, 2014
    • Mar 17, 2014 Toys don't mean as much when you're not allowed to play indoors. Mar 17, 2014
    • Mar 17, 2014 A different kind of sibling love Mar 17, 2014
    • Mar 16, 2014 Her biggest fan Mar 16, 2014
    • Mar 15, 2014 My little farm boy Mar 15, 2014
    • Mar 14, 2014 Productivity tip #3: No one cares (or even notices) what you look like. Mar 14, 2014
    • Mar 14, 2014 Wes Anderson loves yellow, orange and brown. I do not. Mar 14, 2014
    • Mar 13, 2014 Speak Up! Mar 13, 2014
    • Mar 13, 2014 Worst lawyer commercial ever made Mar 13, 2014
    • Mar 12, 2014 The possible closing of a school is hard enough already. Compassion and sensitivity should be the order of the day. Mar 12, 2014
    • Mar 12, 2014 Clara’s deep thoughts while reading Neil Gaiman’s Instructions Mar 12, 2014
    • Mar 11, 2014 Pressure is a privilege Mar 11, 2014
    • Mar 11, 2014 Can’t imagine where she gets this. Mar 11, 2014
    • Mar 10, 2014 My daughter has an imaginary friend. Mar 10, 2014
    • Mar 10, 2014 When you care enough about the lady in your life to purchase an app and automate your expressions of affection Mar 10, 2014
    • Mar 9, 2014 My brand new, completely unrealistic, possibly supercilious goal that you should try, too. Mar 9, 2014
    • Mar 9, 2014 Brilliant writing can be found anywhere. Mar 9, 2014
    • Mar 8, 2014 Fathers don't get to teach their children to swim anymore. Mar 8, 2014
    • Mar 8, 2014 Putt-Putt Perfection Mar 8, 2014
    • Mar 7, 2014 Amazing Mommy Mar 7, 2014
    • Mar 7, 2014 Exit the bigots Mar 7, 2014
    • Mar 6, 2014 Japan is a scary place. Mar 6, 2014
    • Mar 6, 2014 I had problems with the ending of The Lord of the Rings, but it had little to do with Frodo and Sam’s fate. Mar 6, 2014
    • Mar 5, 2014 The greatest source of discontent in my marriage may be this Cadillac commercial, which I adore. Mar 5, 2014
    • Mar 5, 2014 The Moth: Deformed Cow and Moonlight Deer Mar 5, 2014
    • Mar 4, 2014 Barbara Green is a literary hero in a small town in Italy. And in my heart. Mar 4, 2014
    • Mar 4, 2014 North Korean nightmare Mar 4, 2014
    • Mar 3, 2014 A new favorite photo of my children Mar 3, 2014
    • Mar 3, 2014 Facebookless friends Mar 3, 2014
    • Mar 3, 2014 Resolution update: February 2014 Mar 3, 2014
    • Mar 2, 2014 A unicorn and the tendency towards loss aversion result in cleaner teeth and a new idea in behavior management. Mar 2, 2014
    • Mar 2, 2014 Man collects Pop Tarts. Pop Tarts turn 50 this week. Man enjoys his 3 minutes of fame. Mar 2, 2014
    • Mar 1, 2014 I may not be an author yet, but I write like one. Mar 1, 2014
  • February 2014
    • Feb 28, 2014 Big news does not mean big numbers when it comes to same sex marriage. Feb 28, 2014
    • Feb 28, 2014 Ginger was a ginger Feb 28, 2014
    • Feb 27, 2014 Teaching is not quite a minimum wage job, despite what my students may think. Feb 27, 2014
    • Feb 27, 2014 The Reverse Nap: Mounting evidence that I am not a crazy person Feb 27, 2014
    • Feb 26, 2014 Ignorance is bliss Feb 26, 2014
    • Feb 26, 2014 The Moth: Shoe Thief Feb 26, 2014
    • Feb 25, 2014 What kind of food is this? Feb 25, 2014
    • Feb 25, 2014 Joining the war against nonplussed is flammable/inflammable Feb 25, 2014
    • Feb 24, 2014 I’m launching an email newsletter. What should be included? Feb 24, 2014
    • Feb 24, 2014 For my daughter. And all daughters. Feb 24, 2014
    • Feb 24, 2014 The many faces of Charles Wallace Feb 24, 2014
    • Feb 23, 2014 The peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich Feb 23, 2014
    • Feb 23, 2014 A death threat, courtesy of the Yellow Pages Feb 23, 2014
    • Feb 22, 2014 The Moth: Black and White in Washington Feb 22, 2014
    • Feb 22, 2014 A silver lining to rapidly increasing climate change Feb 22, 2014
    • Feb 21, 2014 The average husband would choose the cash and time over well appointed fingernails. Feb 21, 2014
    • Feb 21, 2014 What the hell is going on in Kansas? Feb 21, 2014
    • Feb 20, 2014 Everything happens for a reason, especially when your life is good. Feb 20, 2014
    • Feb 20, 2014 Advertising goes both ways. Feb 20, 2014
    • Feb 19, 2014 Food allergy skeptics suck. Feb 19, 2014
    • Feb 19, 2014 The world is rapidly leaving the bigots behind Feb 19, 2014
    • Feb 18, 2014 Dumb people help make dreams come true Feb 18, 2014
    • Feb 18, 2014 “Nonplussed” is going down. Feb 18, 2014
    • Feb 17, 2014 The best words ever spoken to me. Ever. Feb 17, 2014
    • Feb 17, 2014 The shouting is amusing, but it’s the makeup that bothers the hell out of me Feb 17, 2014
    • Feb 16, 2014 Fourth greatest compliment ever Feb 16, 2014
    • Feb 16, 2014 I’m not careless. I’m just stupid and preoccupied. Feb 16, 2014
    • Feb 15, 2014 Am I really so annoying? Feb 15, 2014
    • Feb 14, 2014 The most amazing door you will ever see Feb 14, 2014
    • Feb 14, 2014 My daughter’s fifth birthday party was violent, competitive and AWESOME Feb 14, 2014
    • Feb 13, 2014 NFL players are clearly the most distractible people on the planet Feb 13, 2014
    • Feb 13, 2014 Best packaging ever Feb 13, 2014
    • Feb 12, 2014 Helicopter parenting has gone national Feb 12, 2014
    • Feb 12, 2014 Tim Burton apparently agrees: Spite is the best reason to do anything Feb 12, 2014
    • Feb 11, 2014 Productivity tip #2: Listen to the 120 year-old version of yourself and stop playing stupid games on your phone. Feb 11, 2014
    • Feb 10, 2014 The definition of hubris Feb 10, 2014
    • Feb 10, 2014 More airlines embracing the Spiderman Principle of Meetings and Presentations Feb 10, 2014
    • Feb 9, 2014 Self love is a battlefield. In Idaho, at least. Feb 9, 2014
    • Feb 9, 2014 Tires in need of slashing Feb 9, 2014
    • Feb 8, 2014 Greatest Super Bowl commercial ever Feb 8, 2014
    • Feb 7, 2014 I love my job when I don’t hate it. Feb 7, 2014
    • Feb 7, 2014 Why I use “Warmly” Feb 7, 2014
    • Feb 6, 2014 Upcoming speaking events Feb 6, 2014
    • Feb 5, 2014 My daughter used a hammer and built a car. She’s already more competent than her dad. Feb 5, 2014
    • Feb 4, 2014 The Spiderman Principle of Meetings and Presentations Feb 4, 2014
    • Feb 3, 2014 If Dennis is a dentist, what is a Dicks? Feb 3, 2014
    • Feb 3, 2014 Friends should not be allowed to retire if they’re going to have this much fun. Feb 3, 2014
    • Feb 2, 2014 I am stupid and sensual Feb 2, 2014
    • Feb 2, 2014 Quite possibly the single greatest parenting moment ever Feb 2, 2014
    • Feb 1, 2014 Sheryl Sandberg made me feel like a misfit Feb 1, 2014
    • Feb 1, 2014 Much improved without me Feb 1, 2014
    • Feb 1, 2014 Resolution update: January 2014 Feb 1, 2014
  • January 2014
    • Jan 31, 2014 My new favorite photo of my girl Jan 31, 2014
    • Jan 30, 2014 Good news! America’s second favorite book is an actual book. Jan 30, 2014
    • Jan 30, 2014 I like their bagels, but this doesn’t inspire a return visit from me Jan 30, 2014
    • Jan 29, 2014 The Moth: Trigger Pulled Jan 29, 2014
    • Jan 29, 2014 My boy has good taste. Jan 29, 2014
    • Jan 28, 2014 An unexpected silver lining (including butts with wings) in this brave new publishing world Jan 28, 2014
    • Jan 27, 2014 My two words Jan 27, 2014
    • Jan 27, 2014 My mother missed my new life by four years. Jan 27, 2014
    • Jan 26, 2014 My wife, the fashion designer Jan 26, 2014
    • Jan 25, 2014 Four no more. Jan 25, 2014
    • Jan 25, 2014 Walter Cronkite rolled over in his grave Jan 25, 2014
    • Jan 24, 2014 Dolly Gray Children’s Literature Award Jan 24, 2014
    • Jan 23, 2014 Change the world by changing the paradigm of meetings. PLEASE. Jan 23, 2014
    • Jan 22, 2014 The Greatest Generation is mine Jan 22, 2014
    • Jan 22, 2014 First date with Elysha: I also had no idea if we were on a date or just “hanging out.” Jan 22, 2014
    • Jan 21, 2014 Productivity tip #1: Don’t fall behind. Jan 21, 2014
    • Jan 20, 2014 My very first library book found! Jan 20, 2014
    • Jan 20, 2014 My daughter attributes her difficulties with sharing to the assassination of MLK Jan 20, 2014
    • Jan 19, 2014 The perpetual search for a good parking spot is probably insane Jan 19, 2014
    • Jan 18, 2014 Boy and girl in dryer Jan 18, 2014
    • Jan 18, 2014 Is Jimmy Fallon the coolest man on Earth? Jan 18, 2014
    • Jan 17, 2014 The Moth: The Turtle and Me Jan 17, 2014
    • Jan 17, 2014 Helmet head Jan 17, 2014
    • Jan 16, 2014 My daughter is tougher than a thousand Moth judges. Jan 16, 2014
    • Jan 16, 2014 I’m apparently competing against myself now. Jan 16, 2014
    • Jan 16, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Rachel Leventhal-Weiner Jan 16, 2014
    • Jan 15, 2014 For sale: Stolen Childhood Dreams Jan 15, 2014
    • Jan 15, 2014 May he always be this happy Jan 15, 2014
    • Jan 15, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: John Leahy Jan 15, 2014
    • Jan 14, 2014 The Moth: The Tyranny of the 10-Speed Bike Jan 14, 2014
    • Jan 14, 2014 Is this generation of grandparents different than previous generations, or is this bald, bespectacled man just unusual? Jan 14, 2014
    • Jan 14, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Andrew Mayo Jan 14, 2014
    • Jan 13, 2014 Advancements in medical technology are amazing. I dread every one of them. Jan 13, 2014
    • Jan 13, 2014 iPad in an oven Jan 13, 2014
    • Jan 13, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Chris Hall Jan 13, 2014
    • Jan 12, 2014 Water fountain failure Jan 12, 2014
    • Jan 12, 2014 The kid has a data driven writing process Jan 12, 2014
    • Jan 12, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Jennifer Stanish Jan 12, 2014
    • Jan 11, 2014 His first selfie Jan 11, 2014
    • Jan 11, 2014 My TED Talk: Speak Less. Expect More. Jan 11, 2014
    • Jan 11, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Nathaniel Bates Jan 11, 2014
    • Jan 11, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Christina O’Sullivan Jan 11, 2014
    • Jan 10, 2014 My future worker bees Jan 10, 2014
    • Jan 10, 2014 Speak Up storyteller: Cara Paiuk Jan 10, 2014
    • Jan 9, 2014 My super powers Jan 9, 2014
    • Jan 9, 2014 The Moth: Plane Delayed Jan 9, 2014
    • Jan 8, 2014 When it comes to social media, leave teachers out of it. They love your child too much. Jan 8, 2014
    • Jan 7, 2014 IMDB, baby. Jan 7, 2014
    • Jan 7, 2014 New Speak Up dates announced Jan 7, 2014
    • Jan 6, 2014 Do I know Dan Kennedy? Jan 6, 2014
    • Jan 6, 2014 I am not a Johnny Manziel fan but… Jan 6, 2014
    • Jan 5, 2014 Male lions aren’t lazy after all. They are actually more efficient than female lions. Jan 5, 2014
    • Jan 5, 2014 Watch The Rolling Stones write “Sympathy for the Devil” Jan 5, 2014
    • Jan 4, 2014 Lessons from another evening at The Moth: Storytellers’ reactions to a loss can differ greatly. Occasionally they suck. Jan 4, 2014
    • Jan 3, 2014 The Michael Jackson video game was a thing. Jan 3, 2014
    • Jan 3, 2014 Idaho acknowledges that the death penalty kills innocent people. Jan 3, 2014
    • Jan 2, 2014 New Year’s resolutions can change your life forever. Don’t let pundits tell you otherwise. Jan 2, 2014
    • Jan 2, 2014 Anatomy of a possibly pathetic New Year’s Eve Jan 2, 2014
    • Jan 1, 2014 New Year’s resolutions: 2014 Jan 1, 2014
    • Jan 1, 2014 Resolution update: 2013 in review Jan 1, 2014
  • December 2013
    • Dec 31, 2013 Say my name Dec 31, 2013
    • Dec 30, 2013 Choosing goals for 2014 Dec 30, 2013
    • Dec 30, 2013 This boy is all boy Dec 30, 2013
    • Dec 30, 2013 Compelling? Truthy? Horribly narrow minded and sexist? I’m not sure. Dec 30, 2013
    • Dec 29, 2013 Twas the Night Before Christmas Dec 29, 2013
    • Dec 28, 2013 The shifting opinions about Santa Dec 28, 2013
    • Dec 27, 2013 Portuguese! Dec 27, 2013
    • Dec 26, 2013 Want to maintain longer lasting friendships? Here is my simple piece of advice. Dec 26, 2013
    • Dec 26, 2013 Killing a mean teacher with the help of Santa and a pony Dec 26, 2013
    • Dec 25, 2013 My 2013 Christmas haul Dec 25, 2013
    • Dec 25, 2013 A writer’s worst enemy Dec 25, 2013
    • Dec 24, 2013 The only thing I want for Christmas is a tiny scrap of paper Dec 24, 2013
    • Dec 24, 2013 I have a lot of jobs. I have a lot of jobs that I still want. And I have a lot of occupations that I wish to pursue. Here is my 2014 list. Dec 24, 2013
    • Dec 23, 2013 My 3 completely biased, overly judgmental and fully valid rules of selfies Dec 23, 2013
    • Dec 22, 2013 Unfair assumption #18: Not every girl-kissing-girl moment is equal Dec 22, 2013
    • Dec 22, 2013 Contender for best golf shot of the year Dec 22, 2013
    • Dec 21, 2013 Bigots are better than naked priests Dec 21, 2013
    • Dec 21, 2013 Future scientist? Or future member of Metallica? Dec 21, 2013
    • Dec 20, 2013 I would love to play the role of Gandalf the Grey and stop trains. Just not at this moment. Dec 20, 2013
    • Dec 20, 2013 My greatest treasures Dec 20, 2013
    • Dec 19, 2013 The needless shortening of words is cray tradge. It must stop Dec 19, 2013
    • Dec 19, 2013 Apple’s “Misunderstood” is brilliant and completely unrealistic Dec 19, 2013
    • Dec 18, 2013 The Moth: The Boy’s Mother Was Dead Dec 18, 2013
    • Dec 18, 2013 103 degrees Dec 18, 2013
    • Dec 17, 2013 Best goals ever Dec 17, 2013
    • Dec 17, 2013 Cell phone crashing: Beyond even me Dec 17, 2013
    • Dec 16, 2013 2013 Matthew Dicks Holiday Gift Guide Dec 16, 2013
    • Dec 16, 2013 7 serious problems with the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer television special Dec 16, 2013
    • Dec 15, 2013 Saying yes to Santa Claus and everything else Dec 15, 2013
    • Dec 15, 2013 Babes with books Dec 15, 2013
    • Dec 14, 2013 Airlines around the world are kicking themselves for not thinking of this first. Dec 14, 2013
    • Dec 14, 2013 Megyn Kelly of “the very powerful” Fox News is an expert on Santa Claus according to Megyn Kelly. She’s also despicable, at least based upon her non-apology. Dec 14, 2013
    • Dec 13, 2013 A vision of the future? Dec 13, 2013
    • Dec 13, 2013 Stop the madness. Allow cell phone jamming technology inside movie theaters. Dec 13, 2013
    • Dec 13, 2013 About to purchase a book from Amazon? Don’t. Do this instead. Dec 13, 2013
    • Dec 12, 2013 Podcast launch is imminent. Ask your awkward, possibly inappropriate, socially unaware and cringe worthy questions now! Dec 12, 2013
    • Dec 12, 2013 Dinner and dancing in the dining room Dec 12, 2013
    • Dec 11, 2013 Possibly illogical and misplaced anger about non-disabled actors Dec 11, 2013
    • Dec 10, 2013 This level of maturity is unacceptable. Dec 10, 2013
    • Dec 10, 2013 We should constantly be looking to reinvent the wheel Dec 10, 2013
    • Dec 9, 2013 Microsoft can even ruin the bra. Dec 9, 2013
    • Dec 9, 2013 Bill named the Bills. Dec 9, 2013
    • Dec 8, 2013 My wife is right. A pantone chip would’ve been a better mascot for the Cleveland Browns. Dec 8, 2013
    • Dec 8, 2013 There’s no such thing as bunny vomit Dec 8, 2013
    • Dec 7, 2013 I miss the brontosaurus. Dec 7, 2013
    • Dec 6, 2013 The gift of a sibling (and the stupidity of a father) Dec 6, 2013
    • Dec 5, 2013 My words travel. I don’t. Dec 5, 2013
    • Dec 4, 2013 Every death in A Song of Ice and Fire, displayed in rainbow-like horror Dec 4, 2013
    • Dec 4, 2013 That water was inside another person Dec 4, 2013
    • Dec 3, 2013 Teachers should use their first names. Honorifics confer artificial and meaningless respect. Even worse, they are sexist and demeaning to women. Dec 3, 2013
    • Dec 3, 2013 Stop complimenting students. Dec 3, 2013
    • Dec 3, 2013 My YouTube channel Dec 3, 2013
    • Dec 2, 2013 Flying car or self-driving car? Dec 2, 2013
    • Dec 2, 2013 Speak Up stories wanted Dec 2, 2013
    • Dec 1, 2013 I hate Paul Mitchell, and I think you should, too. Please join me in my burning hatred for this company. It is deserved and necessary. Dec 1, 2013
    • Dec 1, 2013 Resolution update: November 2013 Dec 1, 2013
  • November 2013
    • Nov 30, 2013 I’m not the only critic of the “Shoes off” policy. There are many other people out there just as judgmental and jerky as me. Nov 30, 2013
    • Nov 30, 2013 Extend your story beyond its original screen Nov 30, 2013
    • Nov 29, 2013 The preferred Thanksgiving Day meal time Nov 29, 2013
    • Nov 29, 2013 Let’s remember someone worth remembering Nov 29, 2013
    • Nov 28, 2013 Bacon: The perfect Hanukkah treat Nov 28, 2013
    • Nov 28, 2013 17 reasons why I am thankful on Thanksgiving Nov 28, 2013
    • Nov 28, 2013 This piece in Slate by Allison Benedikt is ridiculous link bait. It’s also offensive to my children. Nov 28, 2013
    • Nov 27, 2013 Failing as a father Nov 27, 2013
    • Nov 26, 2013 The Pope and an old lady in parking lot Nov 26, 2013
    • Nov 25, 2013 Best tweet ever Nov 25, 2013
    • Nov 24, 2013 I split my pants EIGHT YEARS AGO. Strangers are still talking about it. Nov 24, 2013
    • Nov 24, 2013 Look! An airplane! Amazing! Also the Toyota Camry you just plowed into. Nov 24, 2013
    • Nov 23, 2013 Juicing is dumb. But I didn’t say it. Nov 23, 2013
    • Nov 22, 2013 Lessons learned from 4 years of parenting Nov 22, 2013
    • Nov 21, 2013 My son’s first steps (and a gentle shove) Nov 21, 2013
    • Nov 21, 2013 Verbal sparring 101: Acts of extreme self-flagellation are very useful Nov 21, 2013
    • Nov 20, 2013 How many male authors, after speaking brilliantly about writing and literature, have been asked publicly about their clothes?” I have an answer, but I suspect that some of you will want to chop my head off for it. Nov 20, 2013
    • Nov 19, 2013 At least we don’t throw knives at our children Nov 19, 2013
    • Nov 18, 2013 My TED Talk (if you listen closely) Nov 18, 2013
    • Nov 18, 2013 I did not like Doris Lessing’s response to winning the Nobel Prize Nov 18, 2013
    • Nov 17, 2013 The greatness of Guess the Animal and the stupidity of Freeze Tag. Nov 17, 2013
    • Nov 17, 2013 It’s okay to make fun of fat people, but only if they are really, really fat. Nov 17, 2013
    • Nov 17, 2013 It’s okay to make fun of fat people, but only if they are really, really fat. Nov 17, 2013
    • Nov 16, 2013 Her first blank page Nov 16, 2013
    • Nov 15, 2013 6 things you should never talk about, plus 2 of my own Nov 15, 2013
    • Nov 15, 2013 “Get rid of yourself” never sounded so sweet Nov 15, 2013
    • Nov 14, 2013 Verbal sparring 101: The nuclear option is effective but will leave you radioactive Nov 14, 2013
    • Nov 14, 2013 What kind of jerk complains about a little music at dinnertime? Nov 14, 2013
    • Nov 13, 2013 Don’t mess with Charlie Nov 13, 2013
    • Nov 13, 2013 There are simply too many excellent religions to choose from today. Nov 13, 2013
    • Nov 12, 2013 Hide-and-Seek’s return to glory. Nov 12, 2013
    • Nov 12, 2013 My new favorite writer and her amazing piece: Ashton Kutcher Fan Fiction - The Middle School Dance Nov 12, 2013
    • Nov 11, 2013 The nightmare of the pre-Internet Nov 11, 2013
    • Nov 11, 2013 Could someone please invent quiet juicing? Nov 11, 2013
    • Nov 10, 2013 The boy is one. Nov 10, 2013
    • Nov 10, 2013 Crying at work Nov 10, 2013
    • Nov 9, 2013 I hated it, then I loved it. Nov 9, 2013
    • Nov 9, 2013 This won’t be cute forever Nov 9, 2013
    • Nov 8, 2013 When was the last time you were bored? Nov 8, 2013
    • Nov 8, 2013 Why do people cheat? Why do children misbehave? The reason is oftentimes simple. Nov 8, 2013
    • Nov 8, 2013 Speak Up storytelling: Anita Flores Nov 8, 2013
    • Nov 7, 2013 Speak Up storyteller: Donna Gosk Nov 7, 2013
    • Nov 7, 2013 Speak Up storyteller: Sam Dingman Nov 7, 2013
    • Nov 7, 2013 Speak Up storyteller: Diana Spechler Nov 7, 2013
    • Nov 7, 2013 Nothing better than a compliment and schadenfreude sandwich Nov 7, 2013
    • Nov 7, 2013 The joy of Halloween has returned, even without the eggs. Nov 7, 2013
    • Nov 6, 2013 The peril of Pop Tarts Nov 6, 2013
    • Nov 6, 2013 Joaquin Phoenix is her uncle! Nov 6, 2013
    • Nov 6, 2013 Speak Up storyteller: Micaela Blei Nov 6, 2013
    • Nov 6, 2013 Speak Up storytellers: James Bengiovanni Nov 6, 2013
    • Nov 6, 2013 Speak Up storytellers: Plato Karafelis Nov 6, 2013
    • Nov 5, 2013 My children ruined my Patriots game day perfection. Nov 5, 2013
    • Nov 5, 2013 You’re making your insomnia worse. Get out of bed and do something great. Nov 5, 2013
    • Nov 4, 2013 The only proper reaction to someone who has failed to give you a wedding gift Nov 4, 2013
    • Nov 3, 2013 Children: Ready-made victims for your cruelest pranks Nov 3, 2013
    • Nov 3, 2013 Emergency medical care apparently sucked in 1988 Nov 3, 2013
    • Nov 2, 2013 Unacceptable platitude #6: “I never said I was perfect.” Nov 2, 2013
    • Nov 2, 2013 The perfect encapsulation of my teaching philosophy Nov 2, 2013
    • Nov 1, 2013 Pumpkins Nov 1, 2013
    • Nov 1, 2013 Most quoted man Nov 1, 2013
    • Nov 1, 2013 Escaping poverty, homelessness and hopelessness was incredibly hard for me. Now 80% of Americans must do the same. Nov 1, 2013
  • October 2013
    • Oct 31, 2013 Happy Halloween! Oct 31, 2013
    • Oct 31, 2013 I admire this violent, malicious man. Oct 31, 2013
    • Oct 31, 2013 Ending the engagement is sometimes the only correct choice Oct 31, 2013
    • Oct 30, 2013 Beyond the Margins today! Oct 30, 2013
    • Oct 30, 2013 I don’t like Wes Anderson’s films Oct 30, 2013
    • Oct 29, 2013 Lionel Shriver needed to take better inventory before she lamented the tragedy of her career in The New Republic. Oct 29, 2013
    • Oct 29, 2013 Frozen carrots on a stick Oct 29, 2013
    • Oct 28, 2013 Harry Dicks is almost worse. Oct 28, 2013
    • Oct 28, 2013 Baby pushing baby Oct 28, 2013
    • Oct 27, 2013 What teachers know about bedtimes Oct 27, 2013
    • Oct 27, 2013 Witchcraft, I tell you! Oct 27, 2013
    • Oct 26, 2013 Which okay is okay? Oct 26, 2013
    • Oct 25, 2013 Hashtag excuse Oct 25, 2013
    • Oct 25, 2013 Hot Buzz About Books Oct 25, 2013
    • Oct 24, 2013 Licking the spoon Oct 24, 2013
    • Oct 24, 2013 Unacceptable platitude #5: “It’s not the worst thing.” Oct 24, 2013
    • Oct 24, 2013 Speak Up storytelling workshops Oct 24, 2013
    • Oct 23, 2013 Daddy’s shoes Oct 23, 2013
    • Oct 23, 2013 Wearing underwear to bed is hard work. Oct 23, 2013
    • Oct 22, 2013 Worst things ever Oct 22, 2013
    • Oct 22, 2013 My daughter’s first manuscript Oct 22, 2013
    • Oct 21, 2013 How I determine intelligence: 2013 Oct 21, 2013
    • Oct 21, 2013 My new favorite family Oct 21, 2013
    • Oct 20, 2013 A tale of two story slams Oct 20, 2013
    • Oct 19, 2013 If you’re critical of the National Football League, I understand completely. If you’re smug while doing so, you deserve to be kicked through a goal post. Oct 19, 2013
    • Oct 18, 2013 Sometimes even golf can be stupid Oct 18, 2013
    • Oct 18, 2013 All the financial advice you will ever need Oct 18, 2013
    • Oct 17, 2013 Have you ever seen two more perfect little boy photographs in your life? Oct 17, 2013
    • Oct 16, 2013 Clearly drunk Oct 16, 2013
    • Oct 15, 2013 Sometimes there’s a fine line between creepy and cute. Oct 15, 2013
    • Oct 15, 2013 Products I can’t live without: 2013 revised Oct 15, 2013
    • Oct 14, 2013 Greatest touchdown call ever Oct 14, 2013
    • Oct 14, 2013 I experienced genuine euphoria yesterday. Unabashed joy. Pure, unbridled happiness. When was the last time you felt that way? Oct 14, 2013
    • Oct 14, 2013 Standing still is progress Oct 14, 2013
    • Oct 13, 2013 A second-rate solution to the tyranny of the thank you note Oct 13, 2013
    • Oct 13, 2013 Rules on how to be a man, which should not include anything related to physical appearance or handcrafted firearms. Oct 13, 2013
    • Oct 12, 2013 A potato chip bag and a palace: Two sides of the same coin. Oct 12, 2013
    • Oct 12, 2013 Soap bubble joy Oct 12, 2013
    • Oct 11, 2013 The Today Show has cornered the market on young, white, blond, female kidnapping victims. You should stop watching. Oct 11, 2013
    • Oct 10, 2013 Is your marriage destined for success? Rate you and your spouse using these indicators. Oct 10, 2013
    • Oct 10, 2013 Overnight adventures, except they weren’t adventures at all and they sucked. Oct 10, 2013
    • Oct 9, 2013 The right time and place for a mohawk Oct 9, 2013
    • Oct 9, 2013 Unfair assumption #17: If you lie, conceal or refuse to divulge your age, I will automatically assume the worst. Oct 9, 2013
    • Oct 8, 2013 Which book is more frightening? Oct 8, 2013
    • Oct 8, 2013 Serious sibling adoration Oct 8, 2013
    • Oct 7, 2013 Verbal sparring 101: Answer the rhetorical question Oct 7, 2013
    • Oct 7, 2013 My namesake discovered 42 years later Oct 7, 2013
    • Oct 6, 2013 How to stop a friend from driving home drunk Oct 6, 2013
    • Oct 6, 2013 “And now my kids don’t die.” Oct 6, 2013
    • Oct 5, 2013 Out of the frying pan… Oct 5, 2013
    • Oct 5, 2013 History (and blogger) repeats itself Oct 5, 2013
    • Oct 5, 2013 The boy is trouble. Oct 5, 2013
    • Oct 4, 2013 Resolution update: September 2013 Oct 4, 2013
    • Oct 4, 2013 Unfair assumption # 16: There is something seriously wrong with the intellect and/or self esteem of anyone who chooses to begin smoking today. Oct 4, 2013
    • Oct 4, 2013 A simple way of identifying an idiot Oct 4, 2013
    • Oct 3, 2013 The career of an author is not all angst and loneliness. Some of the time. Oct 3, 2013
    • Oct 3, 2013 Little biker dude Oct 3, 2013
    • Oct 2, 2013 I want credit for not being a jerk. Is that too much to ask? Oct 2, 2013