Unfair assumption #23: People who water their lawns themselves are aggressively anti-efficient and supremely uninteresting

I see it all the time. Some doofus standing on his lawn, hose in hand, watering his grass. 

Just standing there, waving his arm back and forth, spraying water on his lawn. 

Home Depot currently sells a sprinkler for $4.98. More sophisticated sprinklers can be purchased for more.

I can only assume (perhaps unfairly) that these people - almost always men - have such sad and uninteresting lives that this is the best thing that they can find to fill their time, because there is no way in hell that anyone should be standing on their lawn, watering their grass by hand. 

Something is wrong with these people.