When I was a kid, you had to break up with your romantic companion in person. If I even suggested to my friends that I might break up with a girl over the phone, I would be vilified.
I like this. I support this.
Back then, breaking up with someone was civilized. Still difficult and fraught with emotion and distress, but accomplished with a modicum of dignity. You weren't allowed to spend time being naked with another human being and then just end the relationship with a phone call, voicemail, or text message.
You had to do it face-to-face.
It wasn't always easy.
I was once dumped in the middle of a high school dance.
I once drove three hours to New Hampshire just to break up with a girl.
I once broke up with a girl, got back together, and broke up her again in the same night.
I once broke up with a girl on a Saturday night, knowing full well that we were supposed to be visiting my grandparents on Sunday afternoon. After breaking up with her, she offered to accompany me to my grandparent's house anyway, knowing that my grandmother liked her a lot, was looking forward to seeing her, and didn't want to upset my family with our sad news.
And it wasn't an easy breakup. She was upset. Enraged, even. A little blindsided. Still, she found a way to awkwardly muddle through the day with me for my grandparent's benefit.
Today people often break up with their romantic partners via text message. Or tweet. Or email. Or worst of all, they simply ghost the person. They stop returning calls. Ignore emails. Never respond to text messages.
People break up with their romantic partners today in the same way Trump fires administration officials:
He tells others to do it for him. He waits for them to see it on CNN. He tweets their termination to the world. For a guy who became famous for firing people on reality TV, he's a damn coward when it comes to terminating employees in real life.
Don't be like Donald Trump when breaking up with a romantic partner. Don't act like a damn coward when breaking off a relationship. Do the hard thing the hard way. The old fashioned way. The right way.
When my children begin dating at the ages of 28-34, this is what I will tell them. I'm going to make damn certain that they understand the importance of treating their romantic partners decently, even if that romantic relationship has come to an end.
Ending a relationship via text message is the act of a coward. Ghosting a romantic partner is indecent and pathetic. You don't get to have fun while being naked with another human being and then treat them poorly when it's time to move on.
I'm old fashioned that way.