What will be written on your tombstone?

Here's a fun little game.

Determine the future epitaph on your tombstone by taking out your phone and beginning a text message that reads,

"Here lies INSERT NAME. He/she was..."

Then allow the phone to predict the rest of the sentence. If you're using a phone that gives you three options, choose the middle one every time. 

Using this method, my epitaph would read:

Here lies Matthew Dicks. He was just a bit too cold. 

Pretty good. Huh?


It turns out that if you try this at different times, you'll get different results. 

My other options include:

Here lies Matthew Dicks. He was a good man in his own life. 
Here lies Matthew Dicks. He was just a bit too hard on himself. 
Here lies Matthew Dicks. He was the one who said we have a lot to do.

I like all of those a lot, too, but you only get one tombstone.

And no cheating. The first one is the right one and the real one. 

Let me know what your phone suggests for you.

What do you want inscribed on your gravestone?

The Moth recently asked what you would like inscribed on your gravestone when you die in conjunction with a Main Stage show in Brooklyn’s Greenwood Cemetery.


Since I have no intention of ever dying, this was more of a thought experiment than a real world exercise, but still, it was interesting to imagine what words might suit me the most.

After much thought, here is what I’ve decided upon:

Death is hardest on the dead.
Don’t believe me? Ask yourself this:
Who would you rather be?
You, reading this gravestone, or me, buried beneath your feet?
Death is hard on everyone, but it’s hardest on the dead.
Weep for me.
Read my books.
They are my feeble attempts at immortality.

I’m going to need a large stone.