The two best super powers of all time (one of them is not teleportation)

My wife, Deadspin, and many others argue that teleportation is the greatest of all the super powers. 

Teleportation would be an amazing super power to possess. I would love to be able to teleport from location to location instantly.

I think it may be the third best super power.

But objectively, the best super powers, in this order, are:

  1. Immortality
  2. Time travel

All others - including teleportation - pale in comparison.

The question all successful people can answer immediately: What’s your super power?

Serial entrepreneur Tina Roth Eisenberg says that all the most successful people she’s met have been able to answer this question immediately:

What is your super power?

From TIME:

John Maeda, who led the MIT Media Lab and Rhode Island School of Design, responded with “curiosity.”

Maria Popova, who curates the popular Brain Pickings blog by reading 12-15 books a week, said “doggedness.”

Eisenberg’s own superpower? Enthusiasm.

Knowing your superpower means you know yourself well enough to have a focus, and that’s the same competitive advantage that makes you so great at what you do. It’s the quality you’re most proud of, the one thing that makes you stand out, and what gives you an edge over everyone else.

My wife claims that my super power is productivity, but what she really means is efficiency. I get a lot done, but it’s in large part because of the systems of managing work that I have developed.

It’s not magic, as much as some people may think. It’s not even hard work (although it does require hard work). It’s a combination of focus, determination, and a willingness to spend time and effort developing streamlined processes for my work. 


But I would drill down even further and get even more specific. I think my real super power is my ability to rapidly and seamlessly shift between projects without a reduction in quality or loss of efficiency, which allows me to work on many things at one time.

On Monday, for example, I completed a re-write for a musical, finished writing the first chapter of a non-fiction book, wrote about 10 pages of my screenplay, worked on two different novels, worked on a story for a Moth event, and completed tasks for my DJ company and Speak Up.

I shifted between all of these projects quickly and without loss of productivity, and I didn’t require an artisanal latté, a communal table made from refurbished railroad timber, or any smooth jazz to do so. I worked in many different locales at times ranging from 4:00 AM to 10:30 PM.

That is my super power.   

My wife’s super power, by the way, is her ability to endear herself to every  person of every type almost instantly. People automatically love Elysha. It’s as if humanity’s default setting is almost instantaneous love for her.

I wonder if she would agree.

Three questions:

  1. What is your super power?
  2. Were you able to answer the question almost immediately?
  3. If you know me well, do you agree with the super power that I have proposed?

My super powers

I have several super powers.

Most have no discernible purpose. If I were ever engaged in battle with a super villain (or even a regular old villain), most of these super powers would be useless.

Still, a super power is a super power, regardless of how purposeless (or questionably super) it is.

If you can think of uses for any of these powers that I have not already mentioned, it would be greatly appreciated.  


SUPER POWER: Cannot be bruised

Despite many injuries over the course of my life, including a car accident that left me dead, I have never bruised. Doctors have commented on this super power twice, expressing astonishment both times.



SUPER POWER: Require less oxygen than the average man

I am able to hold my breath for an exceptionally long time underwater. I have frightened lifeguards, friends and my wife (who gets exceptionally angry) on numerous occasions by disappearing beneath the surface of the water for a long, long time. Oddly, this super power only seems to work in the water. On land, my ability to hold my breath is only average.

POSSIBLE USES OF THIS SUPER POWER: If a super villain is attempting to destroy me, I could delay the inevitable by hiding underwater for a long time.


SUPER POWER: Vomit free since '83

I have not vomited since a 1983 ride on the Music Express at the now-defunct Rocky Point Amusement Park in Rhode Island. I may have developed an immunity to vomiting altogether.



SUPER POWER: Drinking to excess without any negative results

I almost never drink alcohol today, but there was a time in my youth when I was infamous for the quantity of alcohol that I could consume without any negative ramifications. I have never experienced a hangover and was never sick during or after a night of drinking. One of my friends has said (many times) that my avoidance of alcohol today is the greatest waste of a God given talent that he has ever seen.  

For detractors who believe that this power may have diminished after years of drinking very little, I consumed a considerable amount of champagne on New Year’s Eve without no negative effects. I still got it.

POSSIBLE USES OF THIS SUPER POWER: I could drink a super villain under the table before tying him up using one the many knots that I can tie thanks to my years in the Boy Scouts.


SUPER POWER: Possible immortality

My heart has stopped beating and I have stopped breathing twice in my life, only to be brought back each time by paramedics. The fact that this has happened twice in my life is surprising, but it becomes even more astonishing when you learn that the success rate of CPR is below 10% and survivors often suffer from debilitating physical and mental conditions thereafter.

POSSIBLE USES OF THIS SUPER POWER: None. I’m too terrified of death to ever purposely tempt fate.  


SUPER POWER: Require less sleep than the average man

Despite concerns from friends who worry that I don’t sleep enough, the 4-6 hours that I sleep every night are apparently more than enough for me considering my current level of productivity. I am also quite capable of not sleeping at all for a night with little marginal impact on the following day.

POSSIBLE USES OF THIS SUPER POWER: If chasing a super villain (or being chased), I could avoid a night in a hotel in order to gain ground on my opponent.