One tweet. Four deliberate, purposeful lies.

This tweet got a little loss in the political firestorm of the last couple days, which is understandable. Not only did Trump disparage Haiti and refer to African countries as "shitholes," but he managed this act of indecency on the eight year anniversary of the Haitian earthquake and on the cusp of Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend. 

Timing is everything, I guess.

Still take a look at this tweet:

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The real reason that Trump has cancelled his London trip is out of fear of massive protests (a fact the White House reported before Trump attempted to change the narrative) , but in addition to this lie, the tweet contains three other lies. 

  1. President Bush sold the former embassy and initiated the move. NOT Barack Obama.  
  2. The sale of the former embassy paid for the new embassy, so the price of the new embassy is irrelevant. It didn't cost American taxpayers a dime. 
  3. The move was made for security reasons. The former embassy was not deemed safe and secure enough for our diplomats, so a change was necessary.

His tweet was so inaccurate and disparaging that the US embassy in the United Kingdom put out a press release correcting his lies. 


With any other President, a statement containing three deliberate lies in order to support a fourth lie would be an scandal of enormous proportions, but Trump lies so often and with such impunity from his party or supporters that this tweet is all but forgotten amidst the hundreds of other lies and racist remarks. 

These are not normal times, even though a small but still astounding 36% of Americans continue to support this racist, coward, and serial liar.  

It's hard to understand. 

The UK has a new Prime Minister. Unfortunately, it still has a stupid Queen.

The United Kingdom has a lot of problems right now. I don't mean to pile on.

 But can't we all agree that the need to meet and curtsey before some nonsense Queen who only earned her position through a series of ancestral sexual encounters in order to officially be declared Prime Minister is a ludicrous way to transfer power? 

I'm not anti-British in any way, but I'm anti-royalty in every way. 

Not only is genetics a stupid way to confer power, but the British monarchy costs the UK approximately £35.7 million per year, even though they own more property than anyone else in the United Kingdom. 

This whole situation is ridiculous. 

I have this dream that when Prince William assumes the throne someday, his first and only act would be to declare the British monarchy null and void. 

"I am the King of England because of a sexual encounter between my mother and my father, and because I was lucky enough to be born first. This is just stupid. This idiocy of the monarchy ends now."

He'd turn Buckingham Palace into a museum, stick a photo booth over the throne for future visitors, hand over almost all of the royal estates to worthy charities, and retire to one of the no less than eight other royal residences (including at least three castles) that his family owns. 

That might be one of the most selfless and impressive things a person could ever do. 

Bare-breasted women are perfectly fine but Dicks was offensive?

Though my most recent novel, MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND,  is published in England (and doing quite well), I’ve never had the pleasure of visiting the country.

But it has come to my attention (through its publisher's recent defense) that The Sun, a popular British tabloid newspaper, publishes large, color photographs of topless women on Page 3 (so ubiquitous that it is routinely capitalized) every day.

When I say popular, I mean popular. The Sun has the ninth-largest circulation of any newspaper in the world and the largest circulation of any daily newspaper in the United Kingdom.

Other interesting facts about Page 3:

  • After polling its readers, the Sun also instituted a policy of only featuring models with natural breasts.
  • Up until 2003, The Sun could legally publish photographs of 16 and 17-year old girls.
  • The Sun also has an official Page 3 website,, which is one of the most trafficked websites in all of the United Kingdom.

After reading all this, I am confounded.

This the same country where I was required to change my last name because my publisher feared that Dicks would be considered too offensive.

Bare-breasted women intermingled with the important news of the day is apparently just fine with British audiences, but a book with the word Dicks on it, even if it’s clearly a last name, would be too much for them to bear.

I don’t pretend to understand the British psyche, but I’m also not sure if it’s even possible to understand.


They left their bookstores behind.

A new study has found that at various times the British have invaded almost 90 percent of the countries around the globe.


The analysis of the histories of the almost 200 countries found only 22 which have never experienced an invasion by the British.

And the Brits seemed so civilized.

As an author, I’ve noticed that even though the British relinquished control over most of their empire, they seem to have left their bookstores behind. When I sold the publication rights for MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGNARY FRIEND to Little Brown UK and agreed to use a pen name for the book, I was under the impression that my pseudonym, Matthew Green, would reside only on the British Isles, where the books were to be published.

But since it’s publication in March of this year, I have heard from readers of the UK edition in Australia, South Africa, Dubai, Turkey, India, Morocco and a number of countries in Europe and especially the Far East.

So much for staying put on the British Isles.  

It’s been both surprising and thrilling to hear from these readers around the world. The idea that a story I made up in my head has spread to the corners of the globe is one I would have never imagined. The book is even being adapted for the stage in South Africa. But when I agreed to the pen name, I had no idea that Matthew Green would be landing in as many books shops in as many places around the world as he has.

Clever of the British to remove their troops and infrastructure from these nations but leave their bookshops behind.

Win the hearts and minds, and what better way than through a book?